


Non-Trad

by MrsWhozeewhatsis (OxfordCommaLover)



Series: Non-Trad [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Double Penetration, Erotic Pastries, F/M, Fireman!Dean Winchester, Fireman!Sam Winchester, Fluff and Smut, Multi, No Sastiel, Oral Sex, Priest!Cas, Probably very inaccurate portrayals of Catholic everything, Professor!Sam Winchester, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-10 15:39:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 61,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6991573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxfordCommaLover/pseuds/MrsWhozeewhatsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>non·tra·di·tion·al<br/>ˌnäntrəˈdiSHənl/<br/>adjective<br/>new and different from an established norm, custom, or method.</p><p>Non-Trad:<br/>A non-traditional student is an American term referring to a category of students at tertiary educational institutions. To be considered a nontraditional undergraduate, you: Do not immediately continue your education after you graduate from high school. Attend college only part time.</p><p>You're a non-traditional student in your senior year at college, with an even more non-traditional past. When you meet someone who makes your heart flutter, you can only hope he's as non-traditional as you are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be updating relationship and other tags as I go on this one to avoid spoilers, so don't think what you see is all you're going to get!
> 
> FYI: There are 31 chapters to this, plus 11 "timestamps" (chapters I wrote but ultimately cut, yet can't let go of because I love them). My goal is to post one chapter each day.
> 
> Your friends are Kelsey (@leviathanslovedick), Allie (@but-deans-back-tho), Emily (she is modeled after someone, but her name has been changed to protect the innocent), and Cait (@oriona75). The bitchiest bitch to ever bitch, Jess, is @abaddonwithyall (who is nothing like I've written her here, so a big thank you goes out to her for allowing me to besmirch her good name!).
> 
> This was inspired by a fic written by @icecream-and-gadreel way back in December. Hers is a fabulous smutfest of kink-filled sin. Mine's more like an old-fashioned Harlequin Romance.

From your perch on the trunk of your car, you could watch the plume of smoke rise into the darkness from the other end of your apartment building. Hugging yourself against the cold breeze that seemed to go right through your jacket, you scowled at the scene. Firefighters milled about everywhere, lights flashed on top of the emergency vehicles, and all of your neighbors were huddled together down the block, chirping about lost belongings, smoke inhalation, and water damage.

God, you wanted to smack some of them.

Trixie from 2A actually came outside in nothing but boy shorts and a tank top. Who runs out of a building in the middle of October with no shoes on? Lucky for her, Jack from 3D was more than happy to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the October air. There were a handful more just like her, too, standing outside in slippers and pajamas, only a couple with robes. Of course, they all looked beautifully mussed, whereas you probably just looked rumpled.

You glared at your almost untouched corner of the building, thinking longingly of the bed on the other side of the window. There’s nothing like a 3AM fire alarm to ruin a night. Worst of all, the firefighters weren’t allowing anyone into the building, not even the almost pristine part of the building where your apartment was. Checking the time on your phone again, more for something to do than to actually check the time, you started to think that maybe getting back into your own bed just wasn’t going to happen. You scrolled through your contacts list, knowing what you’d find, knowing who you’d have to call, wondering if sleeping in your car would be as cramped as it seemed.

Your thoughts were interrupted when a very tall firefighter began walking your direction. As he approached, he removed his helmet and mask, and you were surprised that you recognized the face underneath.

“Professor Winchester?” you asked in amazement, wondering why your Mythology and Religions professor was moonlighting as a superhero. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t wondered how he kept in such good shape, but so had every other female on campus, and some of the males, too. Professor Samuel Winchester was fucking hot, and he seemed to be the only person who didn’t think so. He dwarfed even your frame, and you were taller than most women. He had a mane of hair that made your fingers itch to run through it and eyes that were never the same color from moment to moment. He was very private, though, and no one knew anything about him outside of what little he revealed in class, which wasn’t much.

He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, which was sweat-damp from being under his helmet and in the heat of the building, and gave you a smile. “Hey, Y/N! I didn’t know you lived here.”

“Yeah, for over a year, now. I didn’t know you led a double life! You know, mild-mannered college professor by day, savior of kittens and damsels in distress by night,” you chuckled, waving a hand at his gear.

Professor Winchester actually blushed and ran a hand over his face self-consciously, his eyes darting everywhere but near you. “Yeah.” He shrugged. “Only on weekends and when the paid guys need vacation time.” He took a deep breath and stood up straighter, leveling his gaze to meet yours. “I hate to tell you this, but they’re not going to let anyone inside the building tonight. Maybe tomorrow, once they’re sure all the hot spots are dead and figure out exactly what caused the fire.”

Your heart sank and you grimaced again. “Damn. Well, at least I’m better off than Trixie in her underwear over there.” Nodding your head in her direction, you snorted a laugh. “I had sense enough to put on clothes and grab my bag on my way out the door.” You patted your backpack sitting next to you and sighed.

“Do you have a place to stay tonight? Someone you can call?”

Professor Winchester’s voice was gentle and soothing, and you wished you were the type of the girl who responded to that. You’d been too independent for too long to deal well with anyone who wanted to rescue you.

“Yeah, I’m good. I may hate every waking moment, but I have somewhere to go.” You looked up into the gentle hazel eyes with a smile.

As you were about to tell him to go save Trixie, another firefighter walked towards you quickly and bellowed, “Sammy!!”

Both of your heads snapped towards him, and you registered that the owner of the voice was almost as tall as your professor, but not as lanky, and with gorgeous green eyes.

“I told ya, man, you gotta be sneakier about picking up chicks when we’re on the job,” the newcomer joked, slapping your professor on the back with a wide grin. “The captain sees you over here, he’ll have a shit fit.”

Professor Winchester chuckled and shook his head. “I’m not trying to pick her up, Dean, she’s one of my students.” Turning to you, he apologized. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, this is my big brother, Dean. Dean, this is Y/N, one of my best students.”

You looked over the older brother and wondered what the parents must look like to create such masterpieces as the Winchester brothers. Short, spiky, light brown hair topped off at least 6 feet of broad-shouldered strength. Your eyes flicked past his lips, and you desperately hoped your once over looked cooler on the outside than it felt on the inside.

Dean raised his eyebrows and whistled. “One of the best? He doesn’t say that shit lightly.” He put a hand out to you and you shook it with a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Dean, and thanks for the compliment, Professor.” Your cheeks flushed and you dropped your gaze, not knowing how to take such praise, especially from one of your favorite professors.

“It’s only the truth, Y/N.” Professor Winchester turned to his brother. “I was just making sure she had somewhere to crash tonight, since they’re not going to let anyone back in the building tonight.”

“And I do have a place to go, no matter how dreadful, which is good, because I wouldn’t want Professor Winchester to get in trouble for harboring a student, no matter how innocently.”

Dean shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s no biggie. We’d just say you were with me.” Dean winked at you and gave you a grin.

A laughed erupted from your throat before you could politely contain it, and you were glad when Dean chuckled with you. “No offense, Dean, since we just met, but I think ya’ll would do better with the actual damsels in distress over there. They seem like the type to want a big, strong firefighter to take care of them.”

Dean looked over towards the group of your neighbors and grinned. He turned back to you for moment and said, “Thanks, sweetheart. I think I’ll go do just that.” He gave you another wink, slapped his brother on the arm and walked away, putting a little extra swagger in his walk.

Shaking your head, you turned back to your professor, who looked absolutely mortified. “I’m so sorry about my brother. He’s incorrigible. I really thought he would have settled down by now, but he’s still going strong.” You both watched as Dean quickly zeroed in on one of the girls, who smiled coquettishly and seemed to almost literally swoon. Next to you, your professor groaned. “I really do need to get my room soundproofed.”

Laughing, the words spilled out of your mouth before you knew what you were saying. “Oh, I’m sure there are times when your brother thinks the same thing, Professor!”

_ Oh my God, did you just say that out loud? _

Yup. Totally out loud. And now your professor was looking at you with wide eyes and rosy cheeks. You slapped a hand over your mouth and stared back at Professor Winchester, completely frozen until he finally let you off the hook and laughed.

“Oh my God, Professor, I’m so sorry, I don’t know where that came from! I’m going to blame the late night and stress of being turned out of my home. Can you ever forgive me?”

He smiled and chuckled with you. “Definitely. Now if you’re sure you’re okay, I’d better get back to it.”

“Yeah, I’m good. I have family I can call. It won’t be pleasant, but it will leave your couch open for someone who needs it more.” You waved your phone indicating you would make the call, and he seemed satisfied. “See you in class tomorrow?”

Professor Winchester smiled as he turned away with a wave. “See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

You watched the taller Winchester walk away and wondered what it would be like to NOT be his student, and therefore contractually required to NOT think about him as a potential partner. You let that thought go quickly, knowing there was no hope down that road, and concentrated on your problem at hand. Unlocking your phone, you went through your contacts again, reviewing all of your friends in your mind and what their living conditions were before admitting defeat. You had no choice. No one else had more than a few square feet of floor space, and she’d be mad if she found out you didn’t call her. She was your last surviving relative, and she took her role as such seriously.

Heaving a sigh, you touched the screen to dial and put the phone up to your ear.

“Aunt Naomi? I’m sorry to call you so late, but it’s an emergency….”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet Aunt Naomi and learn about the fallout from the fire.

As you pulled into your aunt’s driveway, you saw her standing in the doorway, the light from the house behind her keeping her in shadow. Heaving a deep breath, you grabbed your backpack from the passenger seat and climbed out of your car. You screwed your face into something you hoped wasn’t filled with the annoyance you felt. Your aunt meant well, but sometimes she could be a bit much.

“Y/N! I’m so glad to see you’re okay!” Aunt Naomi’s voice was far too shrill for 4AM, and you did your best not to wince as she looked you over. As usual, her hair was perfectly pinned into a tight bun, not a single hair even threatening to slip out of place. She was wrapped in a bathrobe which only showed the legs of her pajama pants above her slippers and the high neck of her button-down pajama top. Even her sleepwear looked like a damn pantsuit, and you had to stifle a chuckle.

“I’m sorry to have to impose on you, Aunt Naomi, but they won’t even let us back in the building until after they’re sure it’s safe.”

“Nonsense, Y/N. We are the only family we have left. We take care of each other.” Her tone reminded you of Mary Poppins sometimes, without the British accent to make it quaint.

You knew she cared, in spite of the clipped tone of her voice. Many mistook her actions for being nothing more than pious duty, and maybe there was an element of that there, too, but you knew she did care. She could be overbearing at times, but it all came from a good place.

Aunt Naomi took your bag off of your shoulder before you could protest and sat you down at the kitchen table. She pushed a mug of hot mulled cider in front of you, making you smile. “Now, tell me all about it.”

You gave your aunt a full report while you drank down the cider and warmed up from your time sitting outside. Once she was satisfied, she sent you off to bed in the room where you had stayed every so often throughout your life. For once, you were glad that you had left some clothing there, since all you had with you was what was on your back. You snuggled into the bed and finally found sleep.

When your alarm went off, your aunt had already gone to work for the day, but she’d left you a note making sure you knew you were welcome to stay as long as you needed. Rolling your eyes, you got yourself ready and left for school. You were in your final year of getting your Bachelor’s degree, after having taken a few years off at the end of your sophomore year to care for your mother before she had died. Your aunt had taken you in once you were alone, helping you get back on your feet and get back into school. She had wanted you to stay with her to save money, but you needed your freedom. After only a few months of living with her and her rules, you’d had to get out. She meant well, but it was better for your relationship if you didn’t live under the same roof.

You only had a couple of classes that day, one of which was Professor Winchester’s. When he saw you enter the classroom, he smiled and waved you to his desk.

“How are you doing after last night? You said you had a place to crash, right?”

“Yeah, I’m staying at my aunt’s house. She can be a bit tough to take sometimes, but she means well.” You rolled your eyes and smiled.

Professor Winchester’s demeanor changed just subtly enough that you questioned that you’d even seen the shift in his expression. “Oh, really? In what way?”

“Oh, nothing bad. She’s just very religious. Uptight Catholic schoolmarm kind of religious. You know, says grace before every meal, tithes, actually fasts during Lent, and thinks Halloween is truly Satanic.” You made a face and your professor laughed.

“Well, soon you’ll be able to correct her on that, since we’re coming up on that chapter in a week or so, just in time for the day, itself.” He smiled, and you ignored the dimples that appeared. Well, you tried to ignore them.  _ Sheesh, is it legal to be that cute? _ “Well, as long as you’re okay, then. If you need anything, let me know.” Your conversation was interrupted when another student came up to ask a question, so you went back to your seat to prepare for class.

After class, you headed back to your apartment, and were pleased to see you were allowed back inside, if only for an inspection and to gather any items you might need. You got to talk with the landlord, who informed you that you wouldn’t be allowed to be there full time for at least a week. Because of water damage, a lot of carpeting and drywall had gotten soaked, causing a risk for mold to grow. For insurance reasons, no one was allowed to spend any extended time in the building until it was completely dried out and treated to prevent anyone getting sick. Your landlord looked over your apartment with you, and you found there wasn’t much damage at all, since your apartment was literally the furthest from the fire and on the top floor. There was a lot of smoke damage, but nothing you couldn’t clean up yourself. It would mean a lot of laundry and washing everything you owned, but nothing was beyond repair. You made sure your landlord had your contact information before he headed off to deal with another tenant, then went through your apartment, packing a suitcase with everything you’d need for a week with your aunt.

As you packed, you groaned internally. Your aunt was more than generous with you, never having asked you for a penny in rent or utilities when you lived with her. No, she didn’t want money, she wanted your time, your energy, and your compliance with her wishes. A whole week with your aunt meant going to Mass on Sunday morning, and volunteering with her at least once, in addition to being home in time for dinner every night, no drinking, and no partying. You weren’t much of a partier, anymore, since you were three to four years older than your peers in your classes, but you did enjoy a beer or a glass of wine or a shot of tequila every night, depending on how your day was. Your aunt was also ridiculously healthy, insisting on greens every day, and lettuce on a cheeseburger didn’t count.

You weren’t surprised to see your aunt was already home and working on dinner when you arrived at her house. It was quick work to get your things settled and then you went down to talk to your aunt while she cooked. You explained the situation, and tried to ignore how pleased your aunt seemed at you having to stay with her for so long.

“Well, it’s not all bad, dear. It’s been a while since we had a chance to spend any time together. Also, the Fall cleanup at church is tomorrow afternoon, and we could always use young helpers with some of the more physical jobs.”

Scrunching your nose and sighing, you tried not to whine. “Really, Aunt Naomi? Fall cleanup?”

“Now, Y/N, you know the rules of this house. We worship and we minister to those less fortunate. This week, it’s the church itself that is in need of our services. For all the church gives us, it is only right that we give back.”

“I know, I know, I was just hoping for something less down and dirty this week like ladling soup at the shelter or handing out blankets to the folks living by the river.”

“Well, Y/N, those are a couple of excellent ideas for things we could do next week before your apartment is ready!”

Clenching your hands in your lap where she couldn’t see them, you mentally berated yourself for giving her that opening. Now you were really stuck. You’d have to think fast.

“We’ll have to see. I have a lot of tutoring sessions scheduled, midterms are coming up, and I’m behind on my editing work for The Press. If I don’t get caught up, I don’t get paid, and then I’ll be the one that’s less fortunate.”

Aunt Naomi gave a slight frown at you before she gave the stir fry in the pan one final stir and carried the pan to the table. “I suppose if you really are that busy then we can let it slide next week, as long as you definitely help with cleanup tomorrow and go to Mass with me Sunday morning.”

Nodding in relief, you gave her a teasing grin. “As long as it’s not at the butt crack of dawn, you’ve got it.”

“Y/N!! Language, dear!” she scolded you with a horrified expression on her face. Setting down the last bits of dinner, she gave you a warning glare before folding her hands and saying grace. While her eyes were closed you stifled a chuckle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally meet Cas, and learn a bit about both the reader's and Cas's families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pushing out two chapters a day right now, because I want to get to the next chapter by tomorrow, so tomorrow night ya'll can ask the characters questions! It will be part of my 750 followers celebration over on Tumblr. I'm @mrswhozeewhatsis over there, so come find me if you want to participate!

There were a lot of things that people would expect a healthy almost 25-year old woman to be doing on a Friday afternoon/evening, but Fall cleanup at the local Catholic church wasn’t usually one of them. In fact, a group of your girlfriends were spending this evening at a local bar, hoping some handsome strangers would pick them up. If there weren’t any handsome strangers around, then they’d be perfectly happy letting a round or twelve of shots pick them up, instead. You, however, were in your aunt’s car heading to polish brass, dust relics, clean toilets, and deep clean wooden pews. Talk about exciting.

When you had expressed your discontent about doing church cleanup on a Friday night when you could be out looking for a husband (which was the only acceptable reason for you to go out in your aunt’s mind), your aunt had kindly mentioned that she thought you wouldn’t be the only “young person” there. You looked out the window and rolled your eyes so your aunt wouldn’t see you. Would you really be interested in a guy your age who wasn’t smart enough to get out of doing church cleanup on a Friday afternoon? At least one of the two people in a relationship should be savvier than that, and it obviously wasn’t going to be you.

The church parking lot was surprisingly full, considering that it was still fairly early, and you were amazed at the crowd that was milling around inside, picking out jobs from the job board. You were surprised to see a couple of people close to your age in the group, but they also seemed to have been dragged along by relatives. Except for Jess. You and Jess had been in confirmation classes together, and somehow seemed to always end up working together whenever your aunt dragged you along to these things. Jess was like a miniature version of your aunt, only without the gooey center. Currently, Jess was trying to herd volunteers, and you heaved a sigh of relief when your aunt tugged on your arm until you both approached Father Singer.

“Y/N! It’s good to see you! It’s been a while. Over a year, I think?” Father Singer gave you a warm hug, then held you away from him by the shoulders so he could look you over. “I was beginning to think you’d done something stupid, like become an atheist.” He winked at you with a grin, and you knew he was joking.

“I’d never go that far, Father, you know me, more like agnostic. The worst thing that could happen is I’d become a Lutheran.” You nudged him with your elbow and he barked out a laugh.

“That’s my girl!” He gave you a wink and a proud smile, then moved off to greet another parishioner.

You followed your aunt to the job board, but as you approached, the woman handing out jobs took you aside with a smile.

“Y/N, you’re young and able-bodied! We actually have a bunch of outside jobs that need to be done. Would you be willing to do some raking and gardening?”

Giving a shrug you nodded. “Sure. I’ve got a bit of a black thumb, but I can handle a rake.”

“Terrific! Just head outside and go around back. There are already some people out there, I think, so they should be able to tell you what needs to be done.”

You nodded and headed back outside, circling around the back of the building. You had never been back here before, so you weren’t sure what to expect. The afternoon sun was filtering through the huge maple trees that were all over the church property, and you groaned at the amount of leaves that were already on the ground. Looking around, you figured you’d be raking for the entire few hours you’d be here.

When you turned around the last corner of the building, you saw the most beautiful garden you had ever seen outside of a park or botanical center. Well, you imagined it would be more beautiful and colorful in the Spring, when everything was alive and blooming. Even without many flowers blooming, and most of the plants already dried up for the season, you could see the potential. Short, trimmed shrubs made up the perimeter, with what you thought might be azalea bushes decorating the outside of the line of shrubs. At either entrance to the garden stood an arbor covered in dry, dead vines. Inside the garden, in each of the four corners, was a small fruit tree, and around each fruit tree was pachysandra. Along the inside of the line of bushes was a line of daylilies, most of which had died off for the season, leaving the dried stalks standing sentry. The inside of the garden was divided into sections, and appeared to have been mostly vegetables. You saw a trellis with a cherry tomato plant that was still producing fruit, several regular tomato plants, a couple of huge zucchini plants, some peppers, and even some peas that had climbed chicken wire fencing that was staked into the ground in rows. There were a few sections that already appeared to have been harvested and tilled, which made you think of root vegetables like potatoes and carrots.

On one side of the garden was a shed, the doors open revealing a mass of tools and gardening implements. On the other side was what appeared to be hives of bees. The hives were far enough away that you weren’t too concerned about being stung, but you thought you might do your best to stay away from that corner of the garden, anyway.

In the middle of the garden was a man, using a hoe on one of the empty sections. When you got a look at him, you stopped in your tracks for a moment. He was tall, not as tall as the Winchesters, but taller than you, with dark, unruly hair. You watched his muscles move underneath the t-shirt he was wearing as he effortlessly turned over the earth. Your eyes wandered from his broad shoulders, down his back over the band tee to his jeans, which hung from lean hips and covered a fantastic ass and thick, strong thighs. His biceps bulged out of the arms of his shirt as he moved the dirt around, and you suddenly had to remember to breathe.

Shaking your head to clear it, you reminded yourself of your previous thoughts about people your age who couldn’t get out of doing church cleanup on a beautiful Friday afternoon. Looking more closely at his shirt, you made out that it was a Blind Melon concert shirt from shortly after you were born. Maybe he was older than he looked from the back?

“Excuse me? I was told to come back here and help out with raking and stuff?”

The man turned around and you froze in your spot. Deep blue eyes settled on you, joined by a shy smile in the middle of dark scruff which lined a sharp jaw. His hair looked somehow even messier from the front, and you suddenly longed to run your fingers through it. The shirt was tight across his chest, and you recognized the design on the front with a smile. Bee girl. Even though you were a baby when the song came out, you’d always loved that song.

“Yes! There’s plenty to be done back here if you’re not afraid of getting dirty.” His voice was much deeper than you expected, and you stifled a shiver as goosebumps went down your body. The double entendre wasn’t lost on you, but something told you it was lost on him.

“Nah. I dressed to get dirty, and I used to help my mom with her garden when I was younger.” You shoved down the wave of sadness at the thought of your mom and forced a cheery smile to your face. “This garden is beautiful, though, and much bigger than my mom’s. Where do you want me to start?”

The man had a wide smile as he grabbed a small baggie out of his pocket and handed it to you, waving you over to one of the two arbors. He stood behind you as he talked, and you worked hard to focus on his words instead of the heat from his body shielding you from the October breeze.

“You see these little dried sacks here? These are the seed pods for the vine.” He reached over your head and pointed out what must have been the base of whatever flower grew on the vine. “You can either carefully pluck it off the vine, or break it open while it’s still attached to get the seeds.” His hands were large, but his fingers were nimble, reminding you of a musician. He gently pulled one of the little pods off one of the vines, bringing it down to your level so you could get a better look at it. Once you could see it resting in his palm, he used one finger to break it open, revealing two or three tiny black seeds inside. He then pushed the seeds out of the remains of the pod and discarded the pod, leaving just the seeds, which he dropped into the baggie.

“Morning glories are annuals, not perennials, so I have to replant them every year. Saving the seeds saves money since I don’t have to go to the nursery to buy more in the Spring. Harvesting the seeds is boring work, though. If you get tired of it, there’s plenty of other jobs.” He looked up at you then with a shy smile, questioning if you were up for this job or wanted something different, but all you could see was blue.

“Uh, no! That’s fine. I think I can manage this,” you stammered, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks as you looked away before you made a complete fool of yourself. Reaching up to near where he had grabbed the first pod, you gently grabbed another, neatly scooping the seeds out of the pod with your fingernail and dropping them into the baggie. “See? Easy peasy lemon squeezy, as my mom used to say.” You peeked up at him and were blessed with a gummy smile that made your stomach flip. “My name’s Y/N, by the way.” You put a hand out for him to shake, taking a half step away from him for your own sanity as you turned toward him.

You weren’t sure if it was the sunlight coming through the red leaves of the maple trees around you, or a chill from the breeze, but his cheeks were slightly flushed as he smiled at you. It only seemed to bring out the blue in his eyes even more, which you hadn’t thought possible. This close, you could see the five o'clock shadow, the dimple in his chin, the perfect bow of his lips, and you thought you just might get lost.

“Castiel. My name’s Castiel, but you can call me Cas.” His hand was warm and you felt a jolt of heat flash through you at his touch. You both held on to the handshake far longer than was necessary, but neither one of you seemed to care.

You finally came to your senses and pulled your hand away, telling yourself that you definitely did NOT see disappointment on his face, and simply tried to gather some measure of composure.

“Um, well, I guess I should get to it, since there appears to be about a million of these little pods for me to harvest here.” You were appalled to hear yourself stuttering again, and mentally kicked yourself for acting like a fool in front of this god of a man standing next to you.

He seemed to be equally awkward, though, dropping his hand and almost tripping over himself as he separated from you. “Um, yeah, and I have to, you know, do some other stuff… uh… over there.”

You managed to not laugh at how cute he was as he stumbled away from you, only giving in to the grin you couldn’t resist after he had turned away.

The two of you worked in silence for a while, until he finished with the section he had been working on and moved to the section nearest to you. You watched as he picked the last of the zucchinis, then began digging up the plants, cutting them down into manageable pieces and putting them in a wheelbarrow.

“I like your shirt, by the way. Even though it was a bit before my time, I always loved that song.”

Cas seemed surprised when you spoke, almost dropping the handful of zucchini plant pieces he was working on. He quickly caught it, though, and got back to work while he spoke. “I have to admit to not being much of a fan of the band, since I was pretty young at the time, too. I think I was about 4 when my brother went to the concert and bought me the shirt. I’ve always liked bees, so when he saw the shirt he said I had to have it, even though it wouldn’t fit me for another decade.”

“Sounds like a good brother,” you replied, not really sure what else to say.

“Gabe is, well, yeah, I guess he could be seen as good brother. He’s a bit of a practical joker most of the time, so you have to see past his pranks to find his heart, but it’s there.”

Silence fell for a while why you searched for something to say and he took a load of plant scraps away in the wheelbarrow. You blatantly watched him walk away, triceps bulging from pushing the wheelbarrow, thighs stretching the fabric of his jeans. Wiping a bead of sweat from your brow, you took a deep breath and sighed, trying to keep control of your hormones. He took the wheelbarrow behind the shed, and returned a couple of minutes later with it empty.

“So, Gabriel, Castiel…I take it someone had a thing for angels?”

Cas looked up at you with surprise and smiled, settling the butterflies flitting in your stomach again. “Yeah. My mom. We’re all named after angels.”

“All of you? How many are there?” you joked with a smile.

“Five all total. Michael, Gabe, Luke, Anna, and me. I’m the baby.”

You paused your seed harvesting for a second and thought. “Luke? I’m guessing that’s short for something, but…?” You stopped because you just weren’t sure you were going down the right path and didn’t want to make a fool of yourself.

Cas chuckled. “Yes. You guessed it. My mother named one of my brothers Lucifer.”

You covered your mouth in shock and to stifle your gasp. “Really?”

“Yes. The first thing he did when he turned 18 was change it to Luke.”

“I can’t say I blame him,” you replied with a smile. “He must have gotten teased horribly in school.”

Cas shrugged. “He’s so much older than me, I wouldn’t know about that. If Gabe is to be believed, he actually lived up to his name in school more often than not. He tried to mess with me sometimes, but Gabe and Anna always looked out for me.” He finished up pulling the zucchini plants out of the ground, and grabbed the hoe to start working over the ground. “How about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“Nope. Just me. My mom used to say they broke the mold when I was born, and it was a good thing, too!” You gave Cas a shy smile and he returned it. “Apparently, I was a handful as a child, especially after my dad passed.” Pushing your head into the vines in front of you, you didn’t see the sympathetic smile Cas gave you.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Y/N.”

Giving up a half-shrug, you shook your head. “I was so little that I barely remember him. I just have vague memories of him reading me stories and tossing me up in the air and catching me. It was just me and my mom after that. I mean, I visited Aunt Naomi a lot, but my mom and I were like two peas in a pod.” Swallowing hard, you struggled to keep the tears in your eyes from falling.

Cas’s voice was gentle, and much closer than you expected when he said, “You lost your mother, too?”

You didn’t take your eyes off of your work while you nodded, only stopping to wipe away the one tear that escaped. “Yeah. About a year and a half ago, now. Drunk driver. Gave her a traumatic brain injury that left her unable to care for herself for far too long before she died. She went from being so vibrant and alive to being so weak and confused. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

You were so focused on the little pods in front of you, trying not to cry and remembering how small and helpless your mother was near the end, that you didn’t know Cas was standing behind you until you felt his hand on your shoulder. You started, looking up at him in shock just to see similar pain mirrored on his own face.

“I lost my mother recently, too. It was a heart attack, so it was fast, but I have an idea of what you’re talking about.” Cas put his arm around your shoulder, and you crumpled into his chest in tears.

Even though it had been a year and a half, you still missed your mom every day. With taking care of her at the end, and then taking care of her estate, and then going back to school and taking care of yourself, you hadn’t really had much chance to just sit down and cry. Suddenly, you found yourself crushed to Cas’s chest, sobbing like a kid while he rubbed your back and stroked your hair.

When your sobs finally slowed down, you felt so embarrassed you wanted the earth to just open up a hole in the ground underneath your feet.

“I’m so sorry, Cas, I didn’t mean to just break down like that. God, I thought I was past the unexpected crying jags like that, especially on relative strangers.” You tried to laugh it off while you wiped your eyes and your nose with your sleeve then grimaced at your sleeve. When you finally looked up, you saw Cas doing the same to his own face.

“Don’t feel badly, Y/N. We all need a good cry every now and then, and like I said, I lost my mother recently, too. I can’t very well make you feel badly for crying on my shoulder when I was crying on yours, as well.” He wiped his hands on his jeans self-consciously and watched you nervously.

“Well, if you put it that way, then I’m glad I could be there for you,” you said quietly, trying to sound light and cheerful, but managing to only sound sincere. You tried out a smile, and it felt more natural when Cas smiled shyly in return. Waving at rest of the vines and showing Cas the baggie half full of seeds, you tried to laugh and act like a normal person. “Well, I guess I’d better get back to it.”

Cas grabbed your hand with the baggie and took it from you, holding it up and shaking it. “I think this should be enough for what I’ll need in the spring. Let’s move on to something else.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More with Cas in the garden!

Over the next couple of hours, you harvested the ripe tomatoes and peppers, helped Cas unearth and untangle the dead morning glory vines from the arbors, and pulled the dead stalks from the daylilies. It was while you were pulling stalks that you found yourself too close to the far corner of the garden that was closest to the hives.

You had been just keeping your head down, trying to concentrate on your work instead of the man who kept raising your heartbeat every time he got near you, so you didn’t realize where you were until a loud buzzing noise zipped by your ear. You waved an arm and cried out in surprise, turning your head to see what had dive-bombed you. Seeing a couple of the bees heading right for you, you screeched and tried to back away from them calmly. They must have thought you smelled good, though, because they just followed you. Your heart was racing as you started to panic, trying not to wave your arms wildly because you knew that would just excite them more.

You were almost out of the garden in your panic when you slammed into Cas’s chest and his arms wrapped tightly around you. You buried your face in his neck, your hands pressed against his chest, and one of his hands came up and stroked your hair.

“It’s okay, just stay calm and they’ll get bored with you. They must like your shampoo or your perfume, and your movements excited them.” Cas continued to shush you while you heard the distinct sounds of buzzing around you, making you squirm.

“They’re all around us, aren’t they?” Your voice wavered in fear, in spite of the calming presence of Cas surrounding you. You took a deep breath to try and settle yourself, and were met with the overwhelming scent of him. Soap, a little sweat, and earth invaded your head and made you dizzy.

“They do seem to like you, Y/N. They’re beginning to get bored, though, now that you’re still. Just a couple more minutes and they’ll be gone.” The low rumble of Cas’s voice vibrated from his chest through you, and the thought of what it would be like to hear him tell you what he wanted to do to you in bed flitted through your mind before you pushed the thought out. Now was not the time for those thoughts!

Those thoughts wouldn’t leave, though, as you became very aware of the sensitive skin of his neck against your nose and lips. One of his hands was still in your hair while the other was rubbing your back. No matter how hard you tried to fight it, thoughts of tasting his skin, feeling the strength in his chest under your fingers, feeling his heart race as fast as yours, wrapping your arms around him and digging your nails into his back while kissed down your neck….

“I think it’s safe, now, if you can stay calm.” Cas released his hold on you, pushing you away from him gently, but still holding onto your shoulders.

You let him push you away, but you kept your eyes screwed shut and your hands in front of you in a defensive position, hoping to gather your senses a bit before you had to open your eyes and look at him. You needed to be a lot calmer than you were in that moment before you looked into the blue of his eyes, or worse yet, stared at his lips and wondered what it would be like to kiss them.

_ Good God, Y/N! Pull yourself together! You’ve known this man for little more than two hours! Has it really been that long? _

You did the math in your head.  _ Almost four and a half years. _ Okay, maybe it had been that long.

“Y/N? Are you okay? It’s safe, now. They’re all gone.”

Cas’s worried tone plucked at your heartstrings, which didn’t help you want to come out of hiding just then. You really needed him to be a complete jackass so you could stop wanting to push him down on the ground and hump his leg like a dog.

Slowly, you took a deep breath, then gathered your courage and opened your eyes.

_ Fuck. Just as bad as I thought it would be. _

Cas was looking down at you with worry in his eyes, and you tried to look anywhere but his freakishly gorgeous face.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You really weren’t, but not for the reasons he thought, so he didn’t need to know that. Your eyes moved back up to his without your permission, and you got lost again in that sea of breathtaking blue. Pulling in a ragged breath, you glanced down at his lips and wondered again what it might be like to kiss them.  _ Oh, God, I want to kiss him, but I’ve been such a mess, he won’t want to kiss me. _

As you tried to tear your gaze from his mouth, you realized his mouth was getting closer to you. His hands moved from your shoulders to around your back as he pulled you closer to him. One of his hands was back in your hair, but this time he tangled his fingers in your locks and gently pulled so your head fell back leaving your mouth in the perfect place to meet his.

The kiss was electric, and soon your hands had slid up from his chest to around his neck and you were pulling him closer to you. His lips were softer than you expected, and they seemed to fit against yours perfectly. Heat tore through your body from every place he touched you, and you couldn’t contain the whimper of need that came out of you.

Suddenly, his lips were gone and he was pushing you away from him gently. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I shouldn’t have taken such liberties.” His hands fell from you and he stepped just out of your reach. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

Before you could respond, he had turned away and resumed turning over the earth in one of the plots, his back towards you. Embarrassed by his obvious dislike of your kiss, you turned your back on him, as well, picking up the dead stalks you had dropped when the bee had startled you. You quickly finished with the daylilies, keeping an eye out for bees this time, and just tried to finish the job at hand efficiently. As you loaded the stalks into the wheelbarrow, you heard your aunt calling for you from around the front of the building.

“Be there in a second, Aunt Naomi!” you yelled, brushing off your hands and clothes. You turned towards Cas, but he was still refusing to look at you. “I have to go, she’s my ride.” He still wasn’t looking at you, but at least nodded his understanding. “It was nice meeting you, Cas.” He nodded again as he worked and you felt the sting of his rejection, no matter how stupid you felt for feeling it. Shaking your head, you turned to go. “Sorry for bothering you, Cas. Good luck with the garden,” you said over your shoulder as you ran to where your aunt’s car was parked.

You got in the car and said nothing beyond basic grunts and groans in response to your aunt’s attempts at conversation. As you passed behind the church on your way out of the parking lot, you saw Cas furiously digging at the earth with his hoe.  _ I guess he just likes gardening more than me. _

You didn’t get much sleep that night, replaying everything about Cas in your mind over and over, wondering what you had done wrong, and how a kiss could feel so fantastic to you and so obviously awful to him. Your Saturday was spent doing your edit work for the publishing house you worked for, and squeezing in a couple of tutoring sessions. It was good to get some work in so you could have some cash to pay your bills, and you did your best to focus on the work in front of you and push those amazing blue eyes to the back of your mind. You were fine while you were awake, but blue eyes and dark hair invaded your dreams, making you wake up panting and disappointingly alone.

Sunday morning, your aunt woke you bright and early and you tried your best not to grumble and groan at having to go to Mass. You put on your Sunday best, and reminded yourself of where you’d be without your aunt’s help. As you and your aunt climbed the church steps, you saw Father Singer greeting people at the door. When it was your turn, you asked him if this was something new he had started doing since you’d last been there.

“I guess your last visit was before I got some help. You know, I’m getting on in years, and I’m having trouble keeping up with the whole congregation by myself. Back in January, we got ourselves a new priest, fresh out of seminary, and he’s bringing in some new blood and fresh ideas, along with helping me with everything. I’m surprised you didn’t get to meet him on Friday, actually.” Father Singer turned toward you and waved over your head at someone behind you. “Father Novak! Can you come here a second? I’d like you to meet someone!”

You shifted to stand next to your aunt and make room for the newcomer before looking up. When your eyes met familiar oceans of blue, your heart stopped.

“Father Castiel Novak, this is Y/N, Naomi’s niece.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader talks with Cas.

Small talk flowed around you as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. Cas, the man who had given you the best kiss of your life, was a priest. Aunt Naomi was even singing his praises, and she didn’t like anyone!

Before you knew it, he was gone, and you were supposed to be sitting down in a pew with your aunt. Your hands shook, so you made an excuse and headed to the bathroom. In the privacy of a stall, you took deep breaths and gave yourself a pep talk.  _ You can do this. So he’s a priest. He’s off limits. You just won’t have anything more to do with him, that’s all. You’ll stay away from him, and you’ll forget him. _

Feeling more confident, you washed your hands, using a damp paper towel to cool the skin of your face and neck. Tossing the towel away, you straightened your clothes, stood up tall, and gave your reflection a winning smile. You could do this. Newfound confidence urging you on, you threw open the door to the restroom and strode out purposefully.

And ran right into the tall, solid frame of a certain blue-eyed priest.

Feeling your confidence turn to anger, you took a deep breath and growled, “So, it’s  _ Father _ Castiel Novak, huh?”

You stared at Cas, part of you wanting to hit him for kissing you, for making you want him when he was clearly unavailable. The rest of you suddenly understood why he had turned his back to you afterwards. The flush that rose to his cheeks matched your own.  _ Good. At least he’s as uncomfortable as you are. _

“Y/N,” he croaked, swallowing so loudly you thought the congregation in the next room could hear it, “I’m so very sorry for what happened on Friday. I’ve never….” His words seemed to fail him just then and he looked at you helplessly.

You studied his face, a myriad of emotions running through you. God help you, in spite of feeling rejected and how all of this was very wrong, the butterflies were still fluttering in your stomach at the way he was looking at you and the touch of his hand on your arm.

“I don’t know what to do, Cas, what to think. What should I be thinking?” You felt just as helpless as he looked.

Cas’s eyes flitted around as you both heard music coming from the sanctuary. “Can we meet somewhere after Mass is over and talk?” His eyes pleaded with you to agree.

Even though everything inside you told you it was a mistake, you nodded. “How about the coffee shop down the street? You know, neutral territory.”

Cas’s mouth turned up into a pained smile. “Okay.”

He ran off then, and you made your way to where your aunt was sitting. Throughout the service, your eyes were drawn to him, wondering what he was thinking. He’s a priest! Why would he kiss you? Priests don’t do that! Should you even go to the coffee shop and talk to him? Was kissing him considered adultery? Did he break his vows by kissing you? Would you have to go to confession for this? You hadn’t been to confession in years, since your views on organized religion had turned towards the agnostic. The little girl who went to Mass with her father, and later her aunt, still nagged you sometimes, though. She was screaming out loud that it was a HUGE sin and you needed to confess. At the same time, the agnostic adult in you was telling the child to sit down and shut up because confession would only make everything worse. If you confessed, wouldn’t he get in trouble? You didn’t want that, but then wondered if maybe you should want that. He’s a priest. He shouldn’t have kissed you.

But he did kiss you. And you liked it. And you wanted him to do it again.

You stayed quiet through the drive back to your aunt’s house, dodging her questions about what was wrong. Changing your clothes quickly, you made an excuse about needing to meet a student for a tutoring session and ran from the house to the safety of your car. When you pulled up at the coffee shop, you stayed in your car for a few minutes, watching people go in and out while your nerves made your stomach clench.

Finally going inside, you got yourself something to drink and found a seat in a quiet corner. When he arrived a few minutes later, you couldn’t stop the gasp at how good he looked. He was wearing jeans again, which showed off his fabulous ass and strong thighs, with a white button-down shirt, the top couple of buttons opened, and a navy blue blazer. The whole ensemble brought out the blue in his eyes even more, showcased his broad shoulders, and you couldn’t tear your eyes from the inches of skin the opened buttons revealed. You remembered how close your lips had been to that skin just the other day and a shudder of arousal went through you.

_ Stop it! He’s a priest! _ The sensible part of your brain was sensible.

_ They shouldn’t make priests that look like freaking underwear models, then! _ Your libido was not sensible. No surprise, there.

He got his coffee and turned around to look for you, his face creased with worry until he saw you. His smile as he approached you was relieved and hopeful, and you wondered what he must be thinking.

“Thank you so much for meeting with me, Y/N,” he said as he sat down across from you.

“Well, we have a lot to talk about, Cas. Or should I call you Father Novak?” At first, you were glad of the pained expression that crossed his face, but then you regretted your words. “I’m sorry. This has got me very confused, and I’m just not sure where we stand, so I don’t know what to call you.” Failing to keep strong, you knew you were pleading with him to make this right, somehow.

He sighed and turned his cup around in his hands, his eyes glued to the lid as it spun in front of him. “I would like it if you called me Cas, but if you would rather call me Father Novak, I will understand.”

Reaching a hand towards his, you almost touched him before you pulled your hand back and settled it in your lap, twisting it with the other to keep it contained. “How about I call you Cas for now, and after we’re done talking, we’ll revisit the issue?”

Shy eyes met yours with a hesitant smile. “I can live with that.”

You both took a drink and set your cups back on the table with a sigh.

“So, you’re a priest.” Your inner smartass smacked you upside the head and yelled  _ DUH _ .

Cas squirmed in his seat. “At the moment, yes.”

Surprise took your breath and you gaped at him. “At the moment? What does that mean?”

He finally met your gaze and his voice was small when he said, “I’m not sure right now.”

Dumbfounded, you sat back and let him say what he obviously needed to say. There were a couple of false starts, but finally his story started pouring out of him.

“I’ve been having doubts about my calling for the past few months. My mother had always encouraged me, and since she passed, I’ve been wondering if this is really what I wanted, or just what she wanted. I was doing a pretty good job of pushing my doubts aside, until Friday.”

“What changed on Friday?” Part of you wanted to know, part of you didn’t.

“You happened.” His eyes burned into you, stealing your breath.

“I, uh, me?” you stammered, suddenly feeling like the entire coffee shop was staring at you. You, the woman who obviously caused a priest to stray from his path. No matter he was having doubts before he met you, you were what made him fall off the wagon. An illicit stirring of excitement set your stomach fluttering again.

“Please understand, Y/N, I have never before felt any of the things I have felt since you walked into my garden. Up until two days ago, I could have lived a life of denial, figuring that I might as well stay the course because there was nothing out there I was particularly missing.

“Suddenly, I’m not so sure. Since I kissed you, I’m doubting everything. I dislike a lot of the things I’m teaching in Sunday school. I disagree with fundamental Catholic principles, and I now see that I’m not going to be the one to change them. I’m not nearly as attentive to my parishioners as I should be. I’ve spoken with your aunt every week for ten months, and never once did I take note that she had a niece, and I’m sure it’s not because she didn’t mention you.

“And then there’s you. It’s like you flipped a switch and turned on the colors in my world, and I didn’t even know what color was before.”

A bolt of panic made your breath hitch in fear. What was he saying?

“I’m not saying I’m madly in love with you or anything ridiculous like that. I’m just saying that I’ve never even felt an attraction to another person, and now here you are, like the most beautiful flower in the garden.”

Throughout his speech, he had glanced up at you, fiddled with his cup, and even run his fingers through his hair, making it messy, then trying to smooth it back down again. As he finished speaking, though, his hands dropped to the table, holding his cup securely, and his gaze was steady on you. Everything he said washed over you and overwhelmed you.

“Now that you’ve had this epiphany, what are you going to do?” Your voice wavered, showing off the nervousness borne from how your mind was spinning.

He took a deep breath and sighed, dropping his gaze to his cup. “I don’t know. I spoke with Father Singer yesterday, and we decided I would think about it for a while, yet. I have a lot of decisions to make before I do anything. There are so many roads I could take, and I need to decide which road is right for me, and _ before _ I start driving on it, this time.”

Nodding, you finished the last of your drink and started fiddling with your own cup. “What do you want from me?”

Cas straightened up in his seat, then leaned forward, his hands coming close to yours without touching. “I would be happy if you could accept my apology for how I acted. No matter what is going on with me, I shouldn’t have acted on what I was feeling. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this.”

His eyes were on your face, now, and you got caught in his gaze, yet again. Pulling your eyes from his, you concentrated on his hands, hoping they wouldn’t be as distracting. You were wrong, they were just as distracting, but you pushed through it to focus on him.

“I can accept your apology, especially now that I understand your side of it.”

Cas’s sigh of relief was audible. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“So, what do we do now, just ride off into separate sunsets and never speak of it again?” Your heart ached at the thought, catching you off guard.

Cas smiled gently. “I was hoping we could be friends. If not, I understand, and I can maintain a professional distance for the remainder of my time here.”

You considered the dreams that had haunted your sleep, the curl of _ want _ that was, even now, pushing you to touch him, and everything he had just told you. It would be better for him if you walked away. It would be easier for you if you walked away. He was a priest having an early midlife crisis, essentially. He was a mess of Biblical proportions. Getting involved with him was a huge mistake.

“I would very much like to try being friends, Cas.” You plastered a smile on your face, hoping to hide your doubts, your insecurities, and your attraction to him. You were rewarded with a gummy smile that sent a wave of warmth through your body.

Cas glanced up at the decorative clock on the wall and jumped a little. “Wow, I’ve got to go. When might I see you again?”

Taking your phone from your pocket and unlocking it, you passed it over the table. “Give me your number so we can keep in touch. You can text me sometime. I’m leaving my aunt’s at some point this week, so I probably won’t be back at the church again for a few months. I’m a terrible Catholic, really. My mom said my dad used to call her a Chreaster, because she only went on Christmas and Easter, and I’m usually the same way.”  _ Shut up, Y/N, you’re babbling! _

Cas finished tapping into your phone, and you heard his phone go off in his pocket. “There. Now I have your number, too.” He handed back your phone and paused, looking at you gratefully. “Thank you for listening to me and understanding.”

You waved off his thanks and gave him a tentative smile. “I’m just glad we can be friends.”

Both of you said your goodbyes as Cas ran out the door, probably to make it back to the church in time for evening Mass. You watched him start to run down the street, admiring his easy strides with a sigh. Friends was the least of what you thought you wanted from the man, but you’d have to take what you could get.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet the reader's friends!

That night, as you were finishing up a manuscript for work and getting ready to study, your phone went off. Hoping it was your friend, Kelsey, you grabbed your phone eagerly. You were pleasantly surprised to see a text from Cas. He started out asking questions about you, like where you lived, why you were staying with your aunt, what kind of music you listened to, and he was very open with you about anything you asked. You tried to keep it light, trying to stay away from the heavy subject of family since you already knew about his mother. He told you about how he loved teaching, no matter the subject matter, and you told him about your tutoring. You found his taste in music as eclectic as yours, and when the topic of religion came up, you wondered how Cas had managed to become a priest at all, considering how he disagreed with the church on so many things. The evening flew by, and you ended up falling asleep with your phone in your hand, studying forgotten.

Monday was, well, a Monday. Having overslept, you couldn’t find a decent parking spot, so had to run to your first class, where the professor hit you with a pop quiz on the reading you hadn’t done the night before because you were chatting with Cas. When the hour was over and you were free to grab some lunch, you spent the walk to the student union chastising yourself for letting Cas take over so much of your brain lately. You were friends, nothing more, until he decided otherwise. The thought of him deciding he wanted more made your stomach flip-flop, so you stomped that thought right out of existence.

Yeah, right.

At your usual lunch table sat your closest friends, Kelsey, Allie, and Emily, and you had never been more glad to see them. When you had taken time off to care for your mother after her accident, you had slowly lost everyone you’d thought would be in your life forever. You didn’t have time to go to parties and get drunk, you had to care for your mother, who couldn’t be left alone for long. Your aunt had helped a lot, even though she and your mother never got along well, but your friends had all drifted away. When you came back to school, you were completely beaten down, but these girls had seen something in you, and they made you smile again.

“Holy crap on a cracker, guys, I have missed you so much,” you said as you flopped into the last empty chair at the table.

Allie looked up from her sandwich and rolled her eyes. “Don’t you know how to use a phone? ‘Cause, like, you could call a bitch if you’re that bad off.”

Kelsey snorted a laugh, then clapped a hand over her face. “God, Allie, don’t do that when my mouth’s full. I almost snorted Monster out my nose!”

Allie’s usual resting bitch face turned into a grimace of disgust. “Eww, Kels. Control yourself. I don’t need your nasal emissions anywhere near my food.”

Emily shook her head and sighed, then turned to you. “You’re the one who was MIA on Friday, so it’s your own fault. Why? What’s up?”

By the time you were finished talking, all three girls seemed speechless. As per usual, it didn’t last long.

“You’re living with your aunt and you haven’t killed her, yet. Way to go, girl!” Allie raised a hand to give you a high five, making you laugh.

“You kissed a fucking PRIEST?” Kelsey seemed to almost have an aneurism as she loudly whispered her last word.

“In my defense, I didn’t know he was a priest at the time,” you said sheepishly.

“Professor Winchester has an equally hot brother, and they’re both firemen?” Emily’s eyes were glazed over while a lusty half smile played over her face and she sighed, setting her chin in her hand as she stared off into the distance. “Ya’ll, he could use his hose on me  _ any day _ .” The rest of you burst into a fit of giggles while Emily shrugged her shoulders. “The man is a fucking god among men, and he’s a hero in his down time? Hell, yeah, I’d do him! I’d lick him like a fucking lollipop and ride him like the stud he is!”

Allie and Kelsey laughed with you, but you felt your cheeks flame as you shook your head. “Honestly, Em, considering you have the least actual experience of anyone at this table, you do have the dirtiest mind!”

Emily shrugged. “What can I say? I’ve done a lot of research.”

You all laughed again, but Allie was the first to respond. “You mean, you’ve watched more porn and read more smut than all of us combined.”

“I’m a healthy, red-blooded, American woman with access to the internet and a bedroom of my own. Hell, yes, I’m gonna watch porn and read smut.” Emily finished off the last bite of her lunch and wiped her hands on her napkin. “As a matter of fact, I found a short video last night that I watched five times, and I still can’t figure out how they got the shot they did, and how the second guy got his dick anywhere near the girl considering where the first guy was standing.”

Allie covered her ears and closed her eyes, looking for a moment like a kid having a tantrum. “I do NOT want to hear about butt stuff while I’m eating lunch! Please stop sharing your porn stories until you get past this obsession you’ve had recently with DP and anal in general!”

Kelsey smirked at Allie and shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.”

You wondered if your cheeks could literally burn right off of your face. A quick look around you confirmed that there wasn’t anyone close enough to hear, and you thanked Heaven for small favors. Your group had chased people from diners and cafes before with your frank talks about sex, but since this talk concerned your priest, you especially didn’t want an audience.

Allie was still trying to block her ears from what Kelsey and Emily were talking about, her face scrunched up tight. “I don’t need someone’s dick up my poop hole. I don’t need anything near my poop hole. That is an exit-only ramp, thank you very much.”

Emily ignored Allie’s rant, turning to Kelsey with curiosity in her eyes. “I gotta ask, does it really feel as good as everyone says it does? Because, I mean, men have a prostate, so I get how that works for them, but women don’t have anything back there to stimulate, you know?” Emily was approaching this the same way she’d approach research for a term paper, and it always cracked you up. Just then she looked at you frankly and said, “You’ve had threesomes, since you were in that poly relationship before. I’m assuming you’ve done DP, am I right?”

Before you answer, Allie interrupted with something quietly akin to a screech.

“Please, please, PLEASE, have this conversation some other time!! Preferably, when I’m not around!” If looks could kill, you’d all be dead.

“All right, Allie, we’ll teach our little grasshopper over here some other time.” Kelsey pulled Allie’s hands off of her ears. “Besides, we were talking about Y/N over here kissing a freaking priest. Worse yet,  _ he _ kissed  _ her _ . I grew up in a Catholic family. That is so wrong, it’s like they don’t even bother writing it down because they just shouldn’t have to!”

You dropped your face into your hands. “I know. I told you, he’s going through a rough time right now, trying to decide if he wants to even be a priest.”

“Well, he’s a bit fucking late for that, Y/N. He took the vows already! If anyone finds out what he did, he could be excommunicated on the spot! He wouldn’t just lose his job and the roof over his head, he’d lose his religion. Depending on how devout his family is, they might turn their back on him because of it. It may just be a kiss to you, but he’s put his entire life on the line.”

You stared at Kelsey with panic rushing into your system.

Allie glared at Kelsey, trying to get her to stop riling you up. “Calm down, Kelsey. I might not have grown up in a Catholic family like you did, but I’m sure if he confesses and rededicates himself to celibacy or whatever, they’d forgive him. I mean, how many priests have diddled altar boys and not gotten excommunicated? At least Y/N is a consenting female adult. At worst, for what’s happened so far, he’d get a slap on the wrist.”

As usual, Emily’s mind was somewhere adjacent to the current topic of discussion. “Ya’ll, religious people freak me out. I mean, anyone who lives by rules that haven’t been relevant for over a millennia and refuses to see that the world has changed makes me fear for our future. And so many of them are willing to do the weirdest things in the name of religion, or should I say, in the name of social acceptance. Nietzsche was right. Religion is the opiate of the masses.” She shook her head as she started packing up her stuff to leave.

Kelsey’s gaze was steady on Emily. “Yeah, but sometimes it’s nice to get stoned.”

Allie twisted her lip in thought and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “Meh. I’d rather have a margarita.”

All four of you laughed at that and soon you were all packed to go to your next class. As you all walked out of the student union, Kelsey walked beside you.

“Hey. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing. I mean, you’re keeping it friendly until he decides what he wants. Just don’t go trying to sway him. He needs to make this decision separate from you, you know? Otherwise, he’s making the decision because of you, and he could resent you later on.”

You nodded and gave Kelsey a reassuring smile. “I hear ya, Kels. Thanks.” Pausing for a second, you looked at Kelsey with a mock seriousness. “Hey, I’m supposed to be the wise old lady between us. When did you get so smart?”

Kelsey laughed. “You’re not that much older than me, bitch!” She gave you a gentle shove and you went your separate ways to your classes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so short, I decided to just throw it up while ya'll are sleeping.

You didn’t hear much from Cas Monday night, except for a quick response to your message saying he was on the phone with his brother and would text you later. When you didn’t hear back from him by the time you went to bed, you tried not to be worried. You’d only known the guy for a few days, and he had the right to be too busy to text you. It’s not like he owed you anything. You weren’t his girlfriend. Heck, you were just barely friends. But the little voice of doubt in the back of your mind taunted you. Maybe he’d decided he couldn’t be friends with you? Maybe he’d decided he didn’t like you, after all. Maybe he’d decided to leave the Church and was homeless and looking for a place to stay?

Your worry carried through your dreams, leaving you almost more exhausted when you woke up than you were when you had gone to bed. You trudged through your classes, thankful you didn’t have many. Nodding off was not the way to impress your professors.

When Professor Winchester asked you to stay after class, you woke up right quick. Had you failed your last quiz? Had you fallen asleep in class and not even realized it? As the rest of the class filed out, your feet moved slowly to take you to the front of the room.

“Y/N, are you okay? Everything’s still okay with your aunt, right? You’re not crashing on somebody’s floor or anything, are you?” Professor Winchester put a comforting hand on your arm and peered down at you inquisitively.

Your smile was instant as you shook your head. “No, no, everything’s fine. Why do you ask?”

“You nearly nodded off during class, even though I know you were looking forward to this section on Samhain.” His eyes twinkled and you got a glimpse of his dimples. The look he was giving you, full of concern and care with a dash of humor, was creating a bubble of warmth in your chest, and you wondered, yet again, why he had to be your professor.  _ Better than being your priest, though, right? _

“I’m just worried about a friend and didn’t sleep well. No biggie, I swear,” you insisted, hoping the smile you plastered on your face was sufficient to allay his fears.

His dimples widened as he smiled and rubbed your arm with his thumb. “Good. I don’t want my best student failing because her neighbor didn’t know how to cook.” He gave you a wink with his smile and let his hand drop from your arm with a flicker of what you almost thought was disappointment. He turned back to his desk, though, so you couldn’t be sure.

“Is that what started the fire in my building? Sheesh. I won’t ask, but my money’s on Trixie.” You hoped your voice sounded more normal than it felt as you reacted to the growing tension in the room.

Professor Winchester sat down behind his desk and faced you, once again. “Just, you know, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask, Y/N.”

His eyes entranced you for a moment, making you wonder exactly what color they were, but they were pushed out of your mind by deep blue ones. Shaking your head, you pushed the whirlwind of thoughts from your mind. “Thanks, Professor, but I’m good. I should be back home in a day or two, if the landlord is to be believed.”

You confirmed with him the reading assignment you had to do and said your goodbyes, tamping down the butterflies that had suddenly taken residence in your stomach, all the while wondering why his gaze could affect you so much. The drive back to your aunt’s house seemed faster than usual as your tired mind flitted through feelings and impressions of hazel eyes, blue eyes, shaggy brown hair, and messy dark hair.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet Jess, and Cas makes a decision!

Your aunt was getting in her car just as you were pulling in, and she paused, turning around and getting back out again to approach you. “Oh, good! I’m so glad you’re home! They need some extra hands down at the shelter tonight.”

If looks could kill... no… you weren’t kidding anyone. Your look wouldn’t kill. It would barely injure. You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you knew better than to do that in front of Aunt Naomi.

“Um, I really have a lot of studying to do, Aunt Naomi. Do you really need me?” Your shoulders slumped because you knew the answer before you even finished answering the question.

“The Lord needs us all to help our fellow man in his time of need, Y/N. Besides, we can’t leave poor Father Novak down there alone since his regular helpers had to cancel at the last minute.”

The name of your favorite priest made your ears perk up, but you tried to hide your reaction. “Alone, huh? Well, I guess we can’t leave him alone, can we?” You played at still being reluctant, even though you were now completely on board. A giddy wave of excitement sent your stomach dancing again, but you ignored it.  _ You’re just friends. _

When you got to the shelter, you found out that Cas wasn’t actually alone, per se. Jess was there. She was working the front line while Cas was in the kitchen. You volunteered to help Cas in the kitchen, where he was trying to both get food out the door and clean up at the same time, which earned you a glare from Jess for some reason you couldn’t comprehend. The gummy smile Cas gave you when you walked through the door, though, made your heart leap far more than it should have. You dove into the dirty dishes, cleaning up the kitchen as you went so Cas had more room to work on the food he was preparing and giving to your aunt to serve. Before long you were both caught up and working like a well-oiled machine next to each other.

“How’s your family, Cas? I got worried when you said you were talking to your brother and then didn’t hear from you again.”  _ Yes, that’s totally why I was worried. No other reason. _

“They’re good, actually. Thank you for asking, Y/N.” Cas gave you another gummy smile before turning back to grab the last gigantic pot of soup and carrying it out of the kitchen to your aunt. Your hands stopped what they were doing momentarily when your brain short circuited at the sight of his muscles bulging through his black button-down shirt. As he walked out the door, his back was to you, and your mouth went dry as you watched him leave. Broad shoulders led to a gentle slope down his back and on to his delectable ass. A shiver ran down your spine as you imagined clutching his ass in your hands as you pulled him closer to you.

_ Stop that! He’s a priest! And your friend! Just stop it! _

With a quiet whimper, you turned back to your dishes and continued berating yourself in your head. You were still yelling at yourself when a hand on your arm startled you out of your reverie. Cas was standing next to you with a half-smile on his face.

“Has that pot offended you in some way, Y/N?”

You looked down at the pot in your hands and realized you’d been scrubbing the life out of it and it was perfectly clean. “Oh! Um, nothing. Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing, I guess.” Shrugging, you rinsed the pot off and set it aside to dry.

Still standing too close to you, Cas leaned down and spoke softly enough that only you could hear him. “After we’re done here, can we talk? There’s something I’d love to talk with you about, but I’d rather it stayed between us.”

Cas’s eyes had you trapped as he looked at you, pleading with you to agree. The rational part of your brain was telling you about the studying you had to do, the editing work that was piling up again, and your aunt’s ridiculous curfew, but your head nodded, anyway. If nothing else, you got yet another gummy smile that made your heart do backflips. His warm hand landed on your shoulder as he grinned and your mouth turned up to match his without a thought. The warmth from his hand spread through your body until your cheeks flushed, making you turn away before he saw his effect on you. Before you could worry about him seeing your reaction, the kitchen door swung open and Jess walked through, causing Cas to jump away from you quickly.

Jess asked Cas if there was any more of one of the side dishes, and while he went into the walk-in to check, Jess walked over to you with a plastic smile on her face. “So, Y/N! It’s so good to see you back in the fold again, after so long away. I was beginning to think we’d lost you to the pagans!”

You both laughed brittle laughs and you did your best not to roll your eyes.

“Oh, Jess, you know Aunt Naomi would never allow that!”

Another round of fake laughs from both of you, and you sincerely wondered what Jess was doing trying to hold a conversation with you when she obviously liked you as much as you liked her.

“I see you’ve met our new priest, Father Novak. Yous two seem to be getting along like gangbusters! I even heard he let you work in his precious garden on Friday, and he never lets anyone touch that, not even me.” Jess gave you a conspiratorial wink with a cocky smile, and you suddenly wondered exactly what she was getting at.

“Perhaps Aunt Naomi told him about the many hours I spent in my mother’s garden, so he felt he was doing me a favor by allowing me to work in his. I’ll have to thank him for his consideration.”

The door to the walk-in opened just then and Cas came out carrying a large tray full of pies. “I didn’t see any more corn casserole in there, but I did find more pie that was hiding. Perhaps this will make up for what we’re lacking.”

Jess turned away from you with a bright, almost flirty, smile on her face. “I’m sure that will do just nicely, Father Novak! Thank you so much for looking!” Before you could turn away to hide your rolling eyes, you saw Jess lay a hand on Cas’s arm. Your mouth pursed while an unknown monster roared in your gut.  _ Don’t touch him!  _ You tried to shut up the monster.  _ He’s a priest, it doesn’t matter if she touches him. _ Sighing, you told both parts of your inner self to shut up.

Jess helped Cas take the tray out to the serving line, leaving you to your dishes and your thoughts. What was Jess’s angle? Did she suspect something was going on between you and Cas and was trying to remind you that he’s unavailable? Or maybe she was just a bitch? Suddenly, your aunt joined the cacophony of voices in your head and scolded you for your language. Shaking your head, you pushed all the thoughts out of your head and concentrated on the dirty dishes in front of you.

When all was said and done, every mouth was fed, and all of the dishes were put away, Aunt Naomi turned to you to tell you it was time to go. Thinking fast, you came up with an excuse to stay behind.

“Actually, I was talking to Father Novak in the kitchen about the section we’re doing in my Mythology class right now on Samhain and Halloween, and he’s had some interesting insight into it as a priest. He’s agreed to talk with me about it, so I’m going to stay behind, if that’s all right with you?” You looked over your aunt’s shoulder at Cas across the room, chatting with one of the children who was going to be staying the night at the shelter. He was squatting down so the child’s face was higher than his, talking very earnestly about something with a gleam in his eye. Sure enough, a moment later, he reached out and tickled the child, causing her to squeal in delight, and you were treated to another one of his gummy smiles.

You suddenly realized that your aunt was talking and you hadn’t heard a word she’d said.

“…have a ride home and don’t stay out too late. You were the one that said you had a lot of studying to do tonight, my dear.” Your aunt gave you her typical stern look with a shake of her head.

“I will find my way home, and I won’t stay out too late, I promise,” you reassured her, really just wanting her to leave, then feeling badly for the thought. She was only looking out for you.

Aunt Naomi gave a tight-lipped smile, then kissed your cheek and left. The sigh of relief you heaved was audible as you watched her car drive off. Turning around, you searched the room for Cas, finding his eyes on you from across the room. Before you could analyze the look on his face, it disappeared, a bright smile taking its place. He motioned for you to follow him, and you crossed through the kitchen to the back door, where a small sedan was parked.

He held the door open for you, and you got in, wondering where he was going to take you. When he got in the other side, he turned to you. “I hate to eat at the shelter and take food away from those who need it, so I usually eat at the rectory, but I thought maybe we could pick up some carryout and go somewhere to talk?”

Nervous butterflies erupted in your stomach again, taking away your appetite, but you nodded, anyway.  _ This is not a date. This is not a date. _

You both agreed on a fast food place nearby that had a drive-through, and after you had your food, he drove you up to a local scenic overlook where you could see the lights of the city below. Opposite the parking area and away from the street lights was a picnic area with a table, grill, and trash can. Since the sun had set already, the place was deserted, leaving no one to overhear or interrupt. You got out of the car and sat at the picnic table, Cas sitting next to you so you could both enjoy the view. When you were done eating, you both threw away your trash in the can, and then sat on the other side of the table, looking out over the city.

You sat on the table top, feet on the bench, so close to each other you could feel the heat radiating off of him. Elbows, hips, and knees were all pressed together, and you found yourself leaning against him.

Cas was quiet for a while, worrying you about what was on his mind. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, but resolute. “I talked with Father Singer a couple of times since I saw you on Sunday. Yesterday, we drafted and sent off my request to be released from service to the Church and for special dispensation to be released from my vows.”

Sitting up straighter and turning towards him, your jaw was slack and your eyes wide as you stared at him. “You-you did??”

Cas stared forward and a slight smile formed on his face. “Um, yes. I did.” His eyes dropped and he shifted nervously before looking at you. “I realized that I was unhappy doing what I’ve been doing, and there really isn’t any place in the Catholic Church I want to be.” He shrugged and heaved a sigh. “It’s a relief, actually. Now that I’ve made the decision and acted on it, it seems so silly that I waited so long. It seems silly that I ever got this far in the first place.”

“But what about your faith? I mean, isn’t that why you became a priest in the first place?” Your heart was hammering in your chest and you had to stifle every nerve in your body that was crying out to touch him.  _ Just because he’s not a priest anymore doesn’t mean he wants you. _

He shook his head and his smile disappeared. “After long discussions with my best friend and my brother, I’ve come to realize that I actually did it for my mother.” He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it delightfully messy. “I mean, I have faith, but not in the Catholic Church, you know? Hannah Novak was a wonderful woman who loved her family more than most of us deserved.” Cas turned to you so he could gauge your understanding. “Please know, my mother never forced me into anything. I did everything of my own accord because I wanted to make her happy. This isn’t her fault, it’s mine.”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to understand. “But, what about your dad? Or the rest of your family? Didn’t anyone tell you that you didn’t have to do it?”

Cas smiled as he turned back to face the view, letting you lean on him again. “Actually, yes. Everyone told me I didn’t have to do it. Gabe and Anna both tried talking sense into me, as did my best friend, but I was determined to continue being the one person that had never disappointed Mother.” Suddenly, Cas looked like the little boy you imagined he was, just looking for his mom’s approval. “See, my father disappeared when I was two. He just went to work one morning and never came back. No one knows where he went or what happened to him. Michael blamed Mother for him leaving and left home as soon as he was able to. Gabe was the class clown. He was always getting in trouble because of his big mouth. Then, instead of becoming a doctor or a lawyer, he became a pastry chef and opened a bakery. Luke fell in with a bad crowd and has been in and out of jail for years. Finally, Anna was doing well until she announced in high school that she was a lesbian.” Cas sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. “Mother looked at me after that and said, ‘At least I still have you, Castiel.’”

Suddenly, you saw the man before you very clearly. “And you couldn’t disappoint her.”

“No, I couldn’t. But she’s gone, now.” Cas turned his head to look into your eyes. “And then you walked into my garden and made me think about things I’d never thought about before. Now, the possibilities are endless.”

Some part of your brain tried to tell you to move, to stop looking into his eyes, to walk away, but you were frozen in his gaze. His eyes searched your face, settling on your lips, then bounced back to your eyes with fear in their depths. Your whole body seemed to respond to him; your heart raced, your breathing quickened, and every muscle seemed to tense. You glanced at his lips and wondered if another kiss from him would be as intense as the first was.

A moment later, you found out.  _ And it was. _

Fireworks exploded behind your eyes and sent sparks flying throughout your body. His lips were warm and soft against yours, and soon his tongue was plunging into your mouth, trying to taste every part of you. He wrapped one arm around your waist and easily pulled you into his lap so you were straddling his thighs. You pushed your fingers into his hair, holding his head against yours and tugging on his hair as he continued kissing the breath out of you. Soon, your whole body was on fire, and you wondered how you’d lived this long without this in your life. You’d had plenty of kisses before, but nothing that came close to this one.

Your hands moved from his head down to his neck and you felt his collar under your fingers. The real world crashed into you as you felt the stiff fabric. You pulled your lips from his, feeling a perverse happiness when he reached to keep contact with you. Tugging on his hair, you pulled away and panted with your eyes closed until your brain cleared and your breaths slowed.

Slowly, you opened your eyes and looked into his in the faint light. His pupils were blown and you saw confusion mixed with desire. Clearing your throat, you fingered his collar again, reminding yourself of what you needed to do before you could go any further.

“So, if this means you’re not a priest anymore, why are you still wearing this collar?”

Cas’s face fell, his eyes closed, and he dropped his hands from your back. “Although I could stop acting like a priest at any time, I would still be a priest in the eyes of the Church. Until I am released from my vows, even if I stop saying Mass and giving communion and helping the needy, my status wouldn’t change. With that in mind, I decided to stay on and help Father Singer until a replacement can be installed.”

You studied Cas’s face, not quite understanding what he was saying. “If you’re still a priest, then why am I sitting in your lap, Cas?” Your fingers stroked his hair absentmindedly, and he unconsciously leaned into the caress. “Why are you kissing me?”

His eyes opened and you saw all of the confusion and guilt and pain he was feeling. “I don’t know. I just couldn’t go another minute without kissing you again.”

In spite of your heart and body begging you not to, you moved to get out of Cas’s lap and sit next to him again. Before you could get too far, though, his hands landed on your hips, holding you where you were.

“Please. I know it’s wrong, but please.”

How could you resist the naked pleading in his face and voice? You couldn’t. You’d have to be made of stone and you certainly weren’t that strong.

“Okay,” you said quietly, and he pulled you close, resting his head on your shoulder.

You both were quiet for a while, just enjoying the warmth of each other in the chilly autumn air. You stroked his hair and he rubbed circles in your back. When he finally spoke again, his voice was steady and firm.

“I don’t care what the Pope thinks, or what the Vatican thinks. As far as I’m concerned, my vows are broken, and I don’t want to turn back. I want to see what this is with you, and I don’t want to wait months to a year, if not more, for permission from an institution I no longer respect or value.

“However, I do care about Father Singer, and he needs help until my replacement is in place. As soon as that happens, I plan to walk away from the Catholic Church, even if it means being excommunicated.” He lifted his head from your shoulder and looked into your eyes, pushing a lock of hair from your face. “I don’t know if I can keep away from you for that long, though.”

Looking into his eyes, your heart melted. “I don’t know if I can, either,” you replied, your voice choked with emotion. Your hands still stroking his hair, you dipped your head and pressed your lips to his, feeling a burst of warmth when he wrapped his arms around you again and pressed you to him tightly.

You kissed like a couple of teenagers for several minutes, then went back to just sitting there, holding each other.

“So, you’re going to be a priest for a little while, yet, but we don’t want to stop doing this. This isn’t going to be easy, Cas. Are you sure you even want to risk it? I mean, we barely know each other. You might learn about me and decide I’m not worth it.” Flashes of your relationship with Tristan and Ross flitted through your mind, and you wondered what a priest would think about that.

Cas caressed your cheek, then tipped your chin up so he could look you in the eye. “I sincerely doubt that, but I take your point. As long as we’re agreed that we’ll keep this thing between us private, then we can take it as slowly or as quickly as we want.” He gave you a chaste kiss and then settled his head on your shoulder again. “But I do want to get to know you.” His hands squeezed your hips, then slid to your ass, pulling you closer to him with another squeeze of his fingers into your soft flesh. “I want to get to know all of you.”

With a gasp, you arched your back against him and tugged on his hair involuntarily. Before you could recover, his lips were again on yours, his tongue invading your mouth. You let go of your reservations for a moment and enjoyed the feel of him all around you, then backed off, remembering that there were too many reasons why this might never work.

“I want to get to know you, too, Cas. Right now, though, I think I need to get to my aunt’s house before she sends out a search party. I’m sure Father Singer is wondering where you are, too.”

Cas closed his eyes and nodded reluctantly. “You’re right, Y/N.” He opened his eyes again and looked at you with a hopeful smile. “And we have all the time in the world.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Gabe and learn more about the Reader's non-traditional past.

The rest of the week sped by in a blur of classes, work, tutoring sessions, and conversations with Cas. Your friends all oohed and ahhed over what was happening between you and Cas, even Kelsey, who was glad to hear that Cas had made his decision on his own. Your landlord contacted you and let you know that you could go back to your apartment on Friday, and even took some money off of your rent since you’d been so nice about everything. Professor Winchester seemed pleased to hear that you would be back in your own apartment by the weekend, and even offered his and his brother’s services to help with the cleanup. You politely declined, letting him know that your friends had decided to make a party of it, and you weren’t sure the Winchesters would be safe around your friends once the margaritas were poured.

Cas, however, wouldn’t take no for an answer, especially once he knew that your friends knew all about him and still wanted to meet him. The day after he told you he was coming, he sent you a text letting you know his brother, Gabe, was coming, too. With everything you’d heard about Gabe, you both wondered if mixing him with your friends would result in more or less work getting done.

Your fears were realized when Gabe showed up with boxes of pastries marked “Sweetest Sin Erotic Bakery and Candy Shoppe”, bags of candy, and bottles of booze. Your friends liked him immediately.

You opened the door to see Cas loaded down with Gabe’s stash, face red with embarrassment and annoyance, Gabe standing next to him with a comical grin on his face. “Hiya, sweet cheeks! You must be Y/N! Sorry for crashing your party, but I just had to meet the girl that got my baby bro to look twice.” Gabe leaned back to look you up and down for a moment, then gave you a cocky smirk. “Cassie’s got great taste.”

Feeling the heat rise in your cheeks, you stepped back to let the men in to the apartment. Gabe’s chatter didn’t stop there, though.

“To make up for being so incredibly rude and inviting myself, I hope you’ll accept these offerings.” He ordered Cas to spread everything out over any available flat surface, then paused just close enough that only you could hear him. “Don’t hurt him or you’ll have me to deal with, sister.”

You blinked and stared at Gabe in surprise, but he was already off introducing himself to your friends and trying to charm their pants off.

By the end of the evening, your apartment was mostly clean and your friends were all shitfaced. Scattered around the place were gummy dicks, chocolates molded into erotic scenes and a variety of body parts, suggestive lollipops, and all kinds of vaguely phallic desserts such as cannoli, eclairs, and chocolate-covered bananas. Emily and Gabe had hit it off right away, bantering back and forth, exchanging sexual innuendos and double entendres. After making a comment about the Novaks being blessed in the looks department, Kelsey ended up curled into your recliner, mooning over the pictures of Anna and Luke both Cas and Gabe carried in their wallets. Not finding either Michael or Luke to be her type, Allie decided to drown her sorrows in a pitcher of margaritas and loudly wonder why all the good ones were either married, gay, or in jail.

“You know what I mean, Y/N. Of course, you went and fucked the gay ones, anyway, so maybe you don’t know.” Allie’s speech was slurred, and a little muffled because she was sitting on the floor with her head on her arms on the coffee table, but you understood her completely. Your eyes widened in horror as you turned to see if Cas had heard. His puzzled expression told you he had. A quick look around the room confirmed that Gabe was too involved in Emily’s neck to pay attention to your conversation, so at least you didn’t have to explain it to him, too. You rubbed your face with both hands, wondering how Cas would react when you told him your history. When you opened your eyes again, Gabe was threatening to make another round of chocolate martinis, and Cas was busy convincing him it was unnecessary. You sighed in relief at your temporary reprieve.

When everyone was pretty much passed out in the living room, leaving just you and Cas awake and mostly sober, you tucked everyone in and ushered Cas out onto your balcony so you could talk. You each took a chair, sitting just closely enough to reach out and touch each other. After a long and uncomfortable silence, you finally worked up the nerve to speak.

“About what Allie said….”

“Y/N, although I want to know everything about you, your past is your past, and if you don’t want to talk about it, I don’t need to hear it.” Cas grabbed your hand and held it in both of his, trying to reassure you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it. It’s something you need to know. I just hoped I’d be the one to bring it up.”

Cas gave you an encouraging smile and you took a deep breath to settle your nerves.

“When I was in college the first time, before my mom’s accident, I met this gay couple in the theater groups. We met my freshman year doing one of the plays. I was working backstage, helping with costume changes and such, and Tristan and Ross were the actors I was assigned to help. The three of us clicked so well, everyone started calling us the three musketeers, or two and a half men, or you know, whatever other joke they could come up with. They were my best friends, and we were inseparable.

“Freshman year ended, we all went home for summer break, and I missed them so much it hurt. I mean, we kept in touch, but not seeing each other every day was torture. Sophomore year, we decided to get an apartment together. Two months later, they asked me if I wanted them as much as they wanted me.” One shoulder raised into a half shrug. “And I did.”

You looked at Cas nervously, but all you saw was puzzled amazement.

“The technical term for what we were is polyamorous. Tristan and Ross weren’t gay, they were both bisexual, but they both preferred men until I came along. We were a triad, and we were really good together. Everything was going really well until my mom had her accident.

“I had to go home. I had to quit school and take care of my mom. I got the job I have now, editing for The Press, which I could do from home, since I couldn’t leave my mom alone for long. The damage to her brain made her confused sometimes, and she’d forget things, so someone had to be watching her all the time or she’d leave the stove turned on or something like that. She also couldn’t handle strangers. Anytime a nurse came to check on her, she’d get combative, so I couldn’t hire help. Aunt Naomi helped where she could, which is how I got through it without going completely bonkers.

“Anyway, there was just no way I could keep up with Tristan and Ross. They tried coming to visit, and Mom just flipped her lid. I tried visiting them when Aunt Naomi could cover for me, but it just wasn’t enough. When school started back up and I couldn’t go back, we decided to just end it so we could all move on.” You shrugged again and stared at your hand that was engulfed in Cas’s hands. “So, now that you know that I was in a kinky three-way relationship with two queer men, I’m guessing you’d like to run for the hills right about now.”

“Why would you think that?” Cas looked genuinely puzzled, and tears welled in your eyes, thinking about the rejection to come once he fully realized what you’d done.

“Cas, did you miss the part where I had sex with a couple of gay guys? I mean, there’s nothing about my relationship with them that the Church would approve of. Let’s start with the basics: pre-marital sex and birth control. Then, let’s add that there were three of us, and two of us were queer, which I seem to remember is also a big fat no as far as the Pope is concerned.”

Cas took one of his hands away from yours to wipe his mouth as he began grinning. “Y/N, you’ve just listed some of the top reasons I’m leaving the Church. I would never hold those things against you. I would never hold those things against anyone. I was in a sexual relationship with a woman in college, and we used birth control. Gabe is bisexual. Anna is a lesbian.” Cas clasped your hand between his again and looked into your eyes with a reassuring smile. “I have no problems with them, and I have no problems with you.”

You let out the breath you had been holding and slumped down in your chair, your head falling to your clasped hands. “Oh, thank God. I was so worried, Cas. So many people judged us when they realized we were more than friends. The boys, they tried to protect me from it, but a lot of people called me a slut or a whore for sleeping with two guys at the same time. They didn’t understand that it wasn’t like that.”

Cas’s head tilted and his eyes squinted in that way that you were coming to love when he was confused. “What do you mean?”

Leaning back in your chair, you left one of your hands clasped with his while you talked. “They were a couple by themselves before I came along. It wasn’t one woman sleeping with two guys, it was one woman and two guys all sleeping together.” One of Cas’s eyebrows went up as you saw understanding begin to blossom. “I mean, yeah, if one of us was in class or otherwise occupied and the other two were in the mood, then sometimes one-on-one stuff happened, but usually it was all three of us, all the time.”

“But you all loved each other, right?”

“Yeah.”

“As long as no one was hurt by it, then I don’t have a problem with it, Y/N.”

Relief flooded your system and you felt tears prick your eyes. “Really?”

Cas tugged on your hand until you finally met his gaze. “Really.”

His tugging didn’t stop, though, and when you realized he wanted you to sit in his lap again, you shook your head. “Not out here, Cas. Anybody could see.” You stood up and pulled him back inside your apartment, tiptoeing past your friends and his brother, all of whom were basically passed out in the living room. You headed into the kitchen, pointed Cas towards the table, and poured you both a glass of water. As you turned to take the water glasses to the table, Cas surprised you by being right behind you. He deftly took the glasses from your hand before they could spill, setting them on the counter beside you, then took you in his arms with a forcefulness you’d never expected from him.

His lips crashed to yours and he ravaged your mouth. Heat exploded throughout your body as his tongue mapped out your mouth and his fingers gripped you. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to you so he wouldn’t let you go. When air became a necessity, his mouth merely left your lips to find your neck, kissing and licking your skin until you whimpered his name.

“What is it about you, Y/N, that is so irresistible to me? No one has ever made me feel the way that you do.” His hips ground into yours, pressing you into the counter behind you, pressing his arousal into your hip. You bit your lip, trying to hold back the moans he was pulling out of you so expertly so you wouldn’t wake the others in the next room.

“Cas – I, I want – God, I need more,” you mewled, tugging on his hair and trying to dig your fingernails into his back through his shirt.

He slid his hands down to your thighs and pulled up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist, and then he set you on the counter holding your hips tight against his so his hard length was pressing into the junction of your thighs. He started rocking into you, and the seam of your jeans pressed against your clit so perfectly you had to bite his shoulder to suppress the cry that sprung from your mouth.

“Oh, God, Y/N, you feel so good,” Cas groaned, pulling your shirt down so he could kiss and lick at your collarbone. In frustration, you pulled your shirt over your head and sent it flying to the floor, then started unbuttoning Cas’s shirt, momentarily glad he had removed his collar hours earlier. You felt yourself starting to wind up from everything Cas was doing and you knew you were going to come if he kept thrusting his cock against your clit, even if there were too many layers of fabric between you. Once you got his shirt mostly unbuttoned, you took in the miles of beautiful skin at your fingertips and sealed your mouth over his collarbone, licking and sucking until he cried out your name quietly.

One of his hands slid up your side from where it had been squeezing your ass, and began kneading your breast through your bra. Your back arched and your head flew back, giving him the space to pull your breast from the bra and suck your nipple into his mouth. The vibrations from his groans reverberated through your body, bringing you even closer to your peak.

“Cas – If you keep that up, I’m gonna come,” you panted, barely able to speak from the overwhelming sensations he was sending through you.

Cas let go of your nipple, moving back up to your neck by your ear, but his hips moved harder and faster against you. “Good,” he grunted, taking your earlobe in his teeth and tugging on it. “I want to see you come, Y/N. I want to watch you fall apart.”

He pulled his head away from yours so he could see your face, and the lust you saw in his eyes was heady. Without taking his eyes from yours, he smirked proudly as he said, “Come on, Y/N. Come for me. Let me see how beautiful you are when I make you come.”

As if all you had needed was his permission, your orgasm burst through you, stars popped in your field of vision, and you bit your lip to stifle the cry of his name that tried to escape. Cas kept thrusting against you as your orgasm rocked through you, but as you were coming down, you felt his hips stutter. When you opened your eyes, his eyes were closed, his lips parted, his head thrown back until his hips froze for a moment and his body locked up. Watching him come in your arms sent a bolt of heat to your core, giving you an extra aftershock that made your hips buck into his. With that, he rocked against you a couple more times as he came down from his high, and he dropped his head to your shoulder.

He kept his head on your shoulder while you both panted, trying to catch your breath. His hand was still on your breast, and after a moment, he carefully put it back inside your bra while nuzzling into your neck. Your hands started rubbing up and down his back, but your mind was whirling. Why was he so still? Did he regret it? Was something wrong?

“I swear, I just wanted to kiss you. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Cas’s words were almost pressed into the skin of your neck, and a wave of goosebumps went down your body.

“I didn’t expect that, either, Cas, but I liked it.” Reaching up, you stroked his hair, then turned to kiss his head. Cas lifted his face and met your lips with his in a gentle kiss that made you feel warm and happy all over. When it was over, he pulled away from you, looking down at his pants in disgust.

“Ugh. I should go clean myself up.” Cas looked around, not wanting to meet your eyes, and you saw when he got a look at the clock on the microwave. “Holy – I didn’t realize how late it was, either. I’ve got to get back to the rectory before Father Singer gets worried.”

Holding onto his neck, you pulled him close once more. “One more kiss, then you can go,” you said with a wicked smile.

Cas returned your smile, then leaned in to kiss you. “You make it hard to leave.” He finally pulled away from you, and you stifled a giggle as he walked uncomfortably towards the bathroom to clean himself up.

Grabbing your shirt off the floor, you put it back on, and tried not to notice how wet and uncomfortable your own underwear was. While Cas was in the bathroom, you snuck into your bedroom and changed into clean panties and sleep pants, feeling better in fresh clothes. When you returned to the living room, you pulled out your phone and snapped a picture of Emily and Gabe, since they looked so cute cuddled up together on the couch.

“I should wake him up and take him home,” Cas whispered into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Nah. Let him sleep. A night on my couch is fitting punishment for bringing enough booze to knock us all out,” you joked, turning around to face Cas with a smile. “I’ll take him home in the morning if no one else can give him a ride.”

Cas wrapped his arms around you and planted a sweet kiss on your lips. “How did I get lucky enough to find someone who actually likes my brother?”

Trying to stifle a laugh, you snorted, instead. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far….”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweetness with Gabe.

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of food wafting into your bedroom. Beyond curious, you climbed out of bed and headed out towards your kitchen, noticing that Kelsey, Allie, and Emily were still passed out in their respective corners of the living room. Sneaking past them, you found Gabe in the kitchen, cooking enough food for a small army. Just as you were about to say something, he turned around and saw you, flashing you a wide grin.

“You’re up! I was beginning to think all of you were too old to party with the likes of me.” Gabe smirked and you laughed, knowing that Gabe was at least ten years your senior.

Poking your nose over his shoulder, you saw pancakes, bacon, sausage, and eggs all cooking on your stove, and a full pot of coffee in the coffeemaker. Thinking back to the last time you’d gone shopping, you wondered if Gabe was some kind of magical being who could create good food out of thin air. Your pantry was never stocked well enough to make a feast like this.

Gabe saw your curiosity and was quick to reassure you. “I grabbed your keys, took your car, and did a little shopping this morning. I hope you don’t mind, but since Cas left me stranded here, I wanted to eat, and your cupboards are frightening, lady.” Gabe handed you a cup of coffee and you sat down at the table while he went back to cooking.

“Wait, what? You took my car?” You stared at Gabe in disbelief.

He gave you another cocky smirk and shrugged one shoulder. “You weren’t using it, and it’s in roughly the same condition it was before. And in return, you get the breakfast of the gods, which, judging by your pantry, you haven’t had in a very long time. Don’t you eat?”

With a sigh, you decided to let it go. “I eat, just not here very often. I’m usually on campus, so I eat there. Besides,” you said, waving at yourself, “poor college student. Aren’t we supposed to survive on ramen noodles and beer?”

Gabe chuckled while he searched your cupboards for something. Finding your plates, he grabbed a couple, then loaded them up with food. When he was finished, he put one plate down in front of you and the other next to you, then handed you a set of silverware. Digging in, you moaned in delight.

“Holy crap, Gabe. This is awesome! Where did you learn how to cook?”

“Mom taught me enough when I was little, then after Dad left, it fell on me and Michael to take care of Luke, Anna, and Cas, sometimes.” Gabe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Cooking is just one of the many talents I have to offer, you know.”

Giggling with your mouth full, you put your hand in front of your face so you wouldn’t spit out such delicious food. “I’ll be sure to let Em know when she wakes up.” You finished chewing your mouthful of food, then looked at him seriously. “Speaking of Emily, do I have to give you the same warning you gave me last night?”

Gabe’s eyebrows rose and he smirked. “I’ve only known her for about twelve hours, and most of those have been spent unconscious, so I can’t promise marriage or anything,” he joked. When you rolled your eyes at him, he turned serious. “But, I will be honest with her every step of the way, and not jerk her chain or lead her on. Does that satisfy you, Mama Bear?”

Looking at him thoughtfully, you nodded, then smiled. “Okay. As long as you promise to return her in roughly the same condition she was in before.” Gabe grinned at your joke and you chuckled. “But, seriously, I’ll be good to Cas, you’ll be good to Em, and we need never speak of this again.” You held your hand out to Gabe and he shook it, both of you joking, yet knowing you were also serious.

You both went back to eating without saying much, and you were almost done eating when Gabe spoke up again. “I heard Allie say something last night about your past, and I don’t need to know details, I just want to know if Cas knows.”

A bolt of fear shot through you as you studied Gabe, worried about what he would think if he knew about your past. Swallowing the tension that you felt with a mouthful of eggs, you steeled yourself to answer.

“As a matter of fact, we talked about it last night. I’d been meaning to tell him for a while, but I wanted to talk about it in person, and getting time alone has been impossible. After you all passed out last night, we had a long talk.” With a smile you said, “It was good.”

Gabe smiled and nodded. “Glad to hear it.”

The two of you had a pleasant conversation discussing the erotic confectionery business until the other three girls woke up and descended on the kitchen. Everyone raved over Gabe’s cooking, and you saw Emily giving Gabe a quiet look when Gabe was cleaning up his dishes. Later, when he grabbed her empty dish, you saw him drop a quick kiss on her head, and you smiled.

You smiled again when you got in your car to drive to your first tutoring session of the day and saw that your gas tank was full.


	11. Chapter 11

You had planned on just relaxing and getting some work done for the rest of the day, so you were surprised when Cas showed up at your door that night. His tentative smile warmed your heart, and you suddenly realized that your day had felt colorless before he got there. The color was back, though, now that he was sitting next to you.

You guys decided to just sit and talk and get to know each other better, but he seemed quiet and preoccupied. You gently prodded him, and soon he was laying all of his fears at your feet.

“I’m worried that my decision to break my vows affects more than just me, spiritually. I mean, I accept whatever punishment God intends for myself, but I don’t want my decision to affect the salvation of others. The Catholic Church says that priests are the conduit to God for the congregation. If the conduit is faulty, does that affect a parishioner’s absolution?”

You thought about your own beliefs and those you were taught in the Church before you spoke. “Well, I’m not a priest, and the only reason I’m even Catholic is because Aunt Naomi insisted I get a religious education. Although I joke about it with Father Singer, if I had to describe my views, I’m probably more Protestant than agnostic. I don’t believe I need a priest to help me talk to God. I believe that priests and pastors are guides, not conduits. If you were a Protestant pastor, this wouldn’t be an issue. The question then is, are Protestants all going to hell because their spiritual leaders aren’t held to the same standards? If you think they are, then we need to stop this right now and you need to go confess to Father Singer. If not, then I’d say we’re okay to carry on. I guess you need to decide what you believe, and then act accordingly.”

You knew that what you said could make him decide not to see you until he was free, and you held your breath, wondering which way he’d go. It had to be his decision, though. And if he decided to wait, you’d have to deal with that.

If he decided to wait, could you?

He took you in his arms and held you close to him, then buried his nose in your hair. You felt so at home, so safe, so comfortable. You knew your answer. You’d wait forever if you had to.

Your realization making you warm, you stroked his hair until he almost purred like a kitten, then started kissing him lazily. You wanted to taste him, so you worked on his buttons and licked down his jaw to his neck. Just as you found his pulse point, he pulled away.

“You know, I had quite the surprise when I undressed to take my shower this morning.” Cas pulled open his shirt to reveal the mark you had left the night before. “We’re awfully lucky Father Singer didn’t see it before I did.” Giving you a smile, he dipped his head to kiss you again.

Feeling playful, you said, “Does that mean you don’t want me to mark you again, or that I should just be careful where I put them?”

Cas sighed sadly. “I think it’s best that you don’t, for now.” Cas closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to yours. “But as soon as the new priest comes in, I want you to mark me up as much as you want.” He took a deep breath and let out a stuttering sigh while you dreamed about marking him up. Opening his eyes, he tilted his head and studied your face. “What about you? I’ve never done it before. Am I allowed to leave marks on you?”

Desire flared in your belly as you thought about Cas marking you as his. You gave him a seductive smile and said, “God, yes, Cas. Do whatever you want.”

The look Cas gave you was so dark and heated that you whimpered, wanting him to just do it and stop making you wait. He swooped down and pressed his lips to the sensitive skin by your ear, then licked and kissed his way down your throat until you were going crazy. He found that one spot that made you writhe, kissing and licking at it before he sealed his lips over it and sucked.

The sound that came out of you was almost inhuman. He backed off for a moment, gently licking your skin before sucking on it again until your back arched against him. You clutched at his hair, tugging on it until he gasped. This was supposed to just be a lazy make-out session, but it was quickly turning into something more. One of his hands was in your hair, tugging on it the way you had tugged on his, keeping you in position so your neck was bared to him. His other hand was squeezing your hip with every noise you made, and you wondered if you might have bruises there later. As the thought passed through your mind, his hand slid up to your breast while his lips searched for another spot to leave his mark.

As his hands and mouth moved over your skin, he seemed to be cataloguing every whimper, moan, and soft cry of his name, and what he was doing to cause each one.  He’d lick or nibble or caress you, then keep coming back and doing it again, as if to see if your reactions would change before he moved on. When you were getting desperate for more, his hand finally wandered down your stomach and into your shorts and panties. When his fingers approached your mound, your hips bucked up and you groaned, wanting him to stop teasing you and just give you what you wanted.

“Cas, please, want more,” you whined, taking one hand off of his head and putting it on his arm, pushing his hand further towards your center. When his fingertips encountered the wetness pooled there, his groan matched yours.

“Is this all for me?” he asked, his eyes closed and his forehead leaning on your shoulder.

“Yeah, Cas.” Your voice was wrecked, breathy from your panting.

His fingers suddenly found your clit and he began rubbing circles around it, forcing you to cry out. You felt yourself starting to wind up, and you begged him to give you more, give you what you needed. After what seemed like an eternity of teasing, he finally pushed a finger inside of you while thrusting his tongue into your mouth.

You pulled your mouth away from his with a gasp for air and you scratched at his scalp while clutching his arm. He added a second finger and started thrusting into you with a pace that made you crazy. Pushing the heel of his hand against your clit, he mapped you out until he found that one spot that lit you up like the Fourth of July. He hit the spot over and over again, pumping into you, making you writhe in his lap and curse a blue streak as you were assaulted with pleasure.

Your orgasm was fast and hard, locking up your body and stealing your voice as you clenched tightly around his fingers. He kept working you through it until you frowned slightly at the overstimulation, then he gently pulled his hand from your shorts. As your breathing returned to normal, you watched him look at his fingers in awe and wondered how much experience he’d had making a woman come like that. When he licked his fingers, then sucked them into mouth until they were clean with his eyes closed and a groan, you felt the fire inside you rekindle itself.

As soon as his fingers left his mouth, you slammed your lips onto his, kissing him roughly, sucking the taste of yourself off of his tongue and lips. As you moved against him, you realized the hardness you had felt by your thigh was him. Giving you pleasure had made him hard, and suddenly all you wanted was to return the favor. You broke the kiss and jumped from his lap, spreading his legs and kneeling between them.

“Y/N, you don’t have to–“ he started to argue, but you interrupted him.

“I know I don’t have to, Cas, but I want to.” You gave him a wickedly sweet smile, then urged him to push his hips closer to the edge of the sofa. With your eyes more on his face than what your hands were doing, you unbuckled his belt and opened his pants. You pushed one finger from each hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs, then tugged on them, encouraging him to lift his hips as you pulled them down to the middle of his thigh.

He gasped when the cool air hit him, his cock wet with precome, already. You didn’t let him feel the cold for long, though, because you wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking him clean before sliding your lips down his shaft, taking him into your mouth as far as you could.

You watched his face as you took him in, and saw his eyes practically roll back into his head before his head fell to the back of the couch. The noises coming out of his mouth were feral, and you felt a certain glee at knowing you could reduce Father Castiel Novak to twitching hips and feral grunts. His fingers clutched at the couch so hard you wondered if he might actually rip the fabric.

As you found a steady pace, bobbing your head and stroking with your hand what didn’t fit in your mouth, he stared down at you in awe with his eyes wide open and his mouth slack. You tried to smile around his cock, enjoying the effect you had on him, his hips trying to buck into your mouth. You’d done this before, though, so you knew how to go with it without losing your stride.

Noticing he was still trying to rip the stuffing out of your couch, you grabbed his hand with your free hand and placed it on the back of your head. His fingers tentatively tangled into your hair, and you began to get the subtle feedback you were looking for in the way his fingers clenched against your scalp and gently pulled your hair. Now, you could tell exactly how he was feeling with every stroke of your lips. With your free hand, you pushed past his pants and gently grasped his balls, rolling them in your hand and giving them a gentle squeeze. You felt them tighten, felt his hand try to pull you from his cock while he cried out your name as a warning, but you held on tightly and his hips bucked, pushing his cock into your mouth until it hit the back of your throat. He came hard, and you swallowed everything he gave you, almost sucking it out of him until he was finished and you licked him clean.

You gently tucked him away, zipping up his pants and buckling his belt while he came down, wiping the sweat from his brow. Once he was put back to rights, you climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs and wrapping your arms around his neck. He looked up at you for a long moment, his eyes wide with bliss and amazement, then roughly kissed you, pushing his tongue into your mouth to taste himself until he was panting again.

“That… was… Y/N… I’ve never… Nobody’s ever… That was incredible,” he finally managed to stammer out his thoughts, and your eyes widened in surprise.

“Cas, that was your first blow job?”

He nodded quietly, his eyes glancing around the room. “Y/N, I’m reasonably sure that if anyone had ever done that for me before, I never would have taken my vows. Nothing has ever felt as good as that.”

Your cheeks flushed and you broke away from his gaze in embarrassment. He tugged on your chin until you looked at him again, and he kissed you tenderly, caressing her cheek.

“You are constantly expanding and changing my world for the better. I can only hope that I can give you even a fraction of what you deserve in return.”

You fell into his arms, resting your head on his shoulder and nuzzling his neck. “You do, Cas. Believe me, you do.”


	12. Chapter 12

You spent all day Sunday trying to catch up on your classwork, your editing work, and your housework. Every time you walked by a mirror, though, you got distracted by the mark Cas had left on your neck. Unlike the one you’d left on him, yours was well above where most of your collars would sit. You’d really have to wear either a turtleneck or a scarf to hide it. For some reason, the thought that he’d wanted to mark you made you smile, in spite of the trouble you’d have to go to in hiding it.

On Monday, you had lunch with your friends, and this time, everyone was listening to Emily talk about Gabe. From what Emily said, you gathered that Gabe was keeping his promise to you. Emily was nervous about him being older than her, and significantly more experienced. So far, though, Gabe had been a gentleman, and you were glad to hear it. You couldn’t keep the attention off of you, however, and pretty soon all three of your friends had realized why you were wearing a turtleneck. They oohed and aahed suggestively until you were crimson and almost sweating. Once they were done teasing you, they each made sure to tell you that they had liked Cas, and they hoped he was unemployed soon.

Monday night, Cas called you. When you invited him over, he surprised you and said no. He said that every time he saw you he couldn’t keep his hands off of you, and he wanted to actually talk to you and get to know you. You thought your heart might explode from how you felt in that moment. You talked for hours, comparing stories about growing up without a dad around, what you were studying in school, how you thought Gabe and Emily were getting along, and anything else that came to mind. He told you stories about adventures he and his best friend went on when they were little, and how his best friend’s brother used to gang up on them with Gabe and start prank wars. The more he talked, the more you found to like about him, and the more comfortable you got telling him all of your secrets, from what you hoped to do with your life to your most embarrassing moments. Before you knew it, it was very late, and you both were falling asleep on the phone. When you woke up Tuesday morning, you saw that the call had cut off a few hours after the last time you remembered. Cas must have listened to you sleep, or had fallen asleep with you. Either way, your heart almost ached for your blue-eyed sweetheart.

You got up and stared at your wardrobe, wishing you had more high-necked shirts. You didn’t. And no genie was going to pop up and grant any wishes, so you headed into the bathroom to see what makeup you had on hand. An hour later, you dug through your closet to find a scarf, because none of your usual makeup tricks were working.

You got to your last class of the day early, sitting in your seat and flipping through the assigned reading to refresh your memory. Professor Winchester loved his pop quizzes, and you didn’t want to be caught nodding off again. You were so focused on your reading you didn’t even hear him walk in, and he startled you when he said your name, causing you to send your book flying off the desk.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” he said, bending over to retrieve your book from the floor.

You calmed your breathing and gave him a smile. “It’s okay. I was just reviewing the reading assignment in case you were in the mood for a quiz today.”

Setting your book on your desk, he shook his head and smiled. “Not really. I’m not even all that interested in being here today, since it’s Halloween. My classes are always empty around this time of year, for some reason.” His eyes twinkled with amusement. “I guess what I teach seems a little more real and frightening after you’ve stayed overnight in the local supposedly-haunted, creepy-as-hell, falling apart, abandoned house.”

Laughing, you shook your head. “Bunch of wusses, then. Let ‘em cower in their beds.”

Professor Winchester smiled and sat down in the seat in front of you, leaning over the back of the chair. “I guess you’re going to the Halloween party tonight, then? The one in the student union?”

You shook your head. “Not this year. I’ve got work to catch up on so I can pay my rent, and I don’t really have an appropriate costume, either.” You pictured the costume Tristan and Ross had bought for you, which led to them kissing you for the first time, and your cheeks flushed. You hoped your professor hadn’t noticed, but when you looked at him, you saw he had. “Okay, I have a costume, but it was purchased by, well, a friend, or something, a long time ago, and I don’t even know if it still fits, much less if it’s okay for an on-campus party.” You steadfastly avoided his eyes, knowing if you looked up you’d just blush harder, if that was even possible.

“Well, last year, three girls wore outfits that were so revealing they literally fell out of them, if you know what I mean, so whatever you’ve got can’t possibly be worse than that.”

“No, it’s not  _ that _ bad. Wait, you go to these parties? I thought they were students only?” Now it was your professor’s chance to blush.

“I’m not that much older than you guys, you know. Besides, the school likes having someone there who can be responsible, if a responsible person is needed, so they bribe the youngest on staff to attend. But it’s fun, so they wouldn’t need to bribe me, but don’t tell them that.” He gave you one of his dazzling smiles, complete with dimples and a wink, and you chuckled, even though a flash of your favorite gummy smile flitted through your mind. “So, are you going?”

You thought about what you could wear, and how the girls had already tried to get you to go, and finally decided you might as well. “All right. I’ll go. If nothing else, I’ll be dressed as a stressed-out college student.”

Professor Winchester grinned again, then stood up, smacking the back of the chair in victory. “Good!” He seemed about to say something, then thought better of it. “I hate to see any of my students taking things too seriously. Everyone needs to relax and unwind sometimes.”

He looked up at the clock, and you noticed that the class was supposed to start ten minutes ago, and no one else was in the room. “Well, since you’re the only one here, how about I let you go so you can go home and put together your costume for tonight?”

You heaved a melodramatic sigh and started reluctantly putting your things away. “All right, Professor. If you insist.” The two of you exchanged smiles and waves as you left the classroom to head home.

On the way home, you called your friends, and they all agreed to meet at your place to get ready. Kelsey and Allie both promised to bring all kinds of makeup, while Emily said she’d help you figure out a costume. The four of you had a blast just getting ready for the party, so you knew the night would be a fun one, even though everyone had classes the next day. When they saw your old costume on you, they all insisted that you wear it, in spite of the major makeup you’d need to cover the bruise on your neck.

When you were all done up, you had to admit, you looked pretty good. The old costume still fit you well. It was an angel costume, with a long, flowing gown that had a plunging neckline and fit your curves just right. It came complete with halo headband and delicate wings strapped to your back. Chuckling at the irony, you took a picture of yourself and sent it to Cas.  _ Considering our relationship, I think I should be wearing horns, not a halo. LOL. _

A few minutes later, you got a text back.  _ Haha. You are definitely a temptation, especially in that outfit. Please tell me there’s a sweater that goes with it, or I’ll worry about rowdy college boys trying to steal you away all night. _

You immediately responded, knowing he would appreciate it.  _ There’s no sweater, but you don’t need to worry about me. The only person who gets to play with my halo is you. _

Cas’s response had you giggling. It was a string of emoticons, mostly hearts and kissy faces. It may have seemed silly, but you knew it was sincere, and you couldn’t stop grinning.

You grabbed a silver purse out of the back of your closet, loaded it up with any essentials you might need, including more makeup for your neck, and all four of you headed out to the party.

When you got there, you were suddenly glad you had decided to go. There was good music, people were dancing, and there was even food and sodas, though nothing alcoholic since your college insisted on a “dry” campus. The people that were there were the ones that liked to go out and have fun, not just get drunk, and you were soon reminded of the theater parties you used to go to with Tristan and Ross.

The party was held in the dining hall, but all of the tables were folded up and pushed off to the sides of the room, leaving a large area for dancing in the middle. There was a disco ball twirling overhead, sending prisms of light flickering all over the room and its inhabitants. Everyone was dressed in some kind of costume, so you were surrounded by Frankenstein’s monster, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, several characters from various  _ Star Wars _ movies, a couple of fairies (whose costumes looked much like yours, actually, only theirs had colors and were much shorter), some vampires, and a whole variety of “sexy” people, like nurses, construction workers, and cops. The hall was decorated with cheesy paper signs and crepe paper, but it was all in good fun and made you smile.

The four of you headed directly for the dance floor, gathering into a group and each of you doing your own thing. Anyone watching you would probably laugh at your uncoordinated dance moves, but none of you cared.

The room quickly heated up with everyone moving, and soon you had to stop dancing just to rehydrate. Standing off to the side, you looked around the room, admiring costumes and laughing at some of the goofy things your friends were doing on the dance floor. You grabbed some napkins and starting dabbing at your face to stem the drips of sweat that were forming, and laughed at the thought of Cas wanting you to wear a sweater. Just then, a man in a suit caught your eye, mostly because he was taller than almost everyone else there, and soon he was coming your way. As he approached, you realized it was Professor Winchester and gave him a smile. He somehow got stopped about halfway across the room from you for a second, but quickly recovered and was by your side.

“I can’t believe you thought that costume wouldn’t be appropriate, Y/N! You look great!” He had to almost scream in your ear to be heard over the loud music.

“Thanks! You look pretty good, too, Professor Winchester! But what are you supposed to be?  _ Men in Black _ ? Funeral director?”

He laughed, showing off those dimples again, and whipped out a very convincing FBI badge. “FBI, ma’am. Here to protect and serve.”

You both laughed at that, but you stopped when you began to feel sweat start to drip down your face and neck again. Grabbing your napkins, you started blotting frantically, hoping you weren’t messing up any of your makeup.

“I don’t know how you’re surviving in that suit jacket. It’s taking everything I have not to melt where I stand.”

He shifted uncomfortably, running his hand through his long hair, and you suddenly noticed it was damp with sweat. “I’m actually not surviving all that well. I’m thinking next year I go as a Greek in a toga. Fewer layers.”

You offered him some napkins to wipe down with and he smiled gratefully, watching you as you passed your wad over your skin one more time. He turned to face the dance floor as he mopped his brow and wiped the beads of sweat from his neck. After a moment, he made a motion with his hands that he was going to go mingle again, and you gave him a smile and nodded your understanding. He gave you a tight-lipped smile in return and you wondered idly where his dimples had gone.

A few minutes later, Allie separated herself from Emily and Kelsey and came over to where you were standing. “Did I see you talking with Professor McDreamy?”

Rolling your eyes, you laughed at your friend. “He’s my professor, he said hi, I said hi, he went back to his duties as chaperone.”

Allie shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. “Hey, he’s not my type, though I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers, but there are a lot of women in this room that would die to have him ‘just say hi’ to them like that.”

You shook your head and laughed, until Allie grabbed your shoulder and turned you away from her a little bit. “Damn, got to get out the makeup again, Y/N. Your sluttish ways are showing, bitch.”

Once you were patched up, you went back to dancing a little, meeting up with some casual friends from your classes. You thought you might have matched up Allie and Kelsey with a couple of guys from your Film class, and you patted yourself on the back for a job well done.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets sick, and Cas and her friends take care of her.

Thursday morning, you woke up regretting the party. One nostril was completely blocked, your eyes were rimmed with red, your throat was sore, and your body ached. Obviously someone at the party had had the plague, and passed it on to you. Terrific.

You trudged through your day, pushing yourself to not miss any of your classes or tutoring sessions, dragging along a box of tissues everywhere you went. By the time you got to Professor Winchester’s class, you were exhausted, your eyes were watering, your nose was running, and you were cold. You got to the classroom early, as always, and sat there drying your eyes and blowing your nose while you tried to review the reading. When Professor Winchester walked in, you heard him rather than saw him, because your head was cradled in your hands, the heel of your hands pressing on your cheekbones to try and relieve the pressure building there.

“Y/N? Are you all right? Are you upset?”

You lifted your head to see him standing in front of the classroom, shifting back and forth on his feet. Trying to smile, you said, “I think I’ll live, but it’s really too soon to – Ahh-ahhh-ahhh-CHOO!!” Thankfully, you managed to grab a tissue to sneeze into before it was too late. Rolling your eyes at yourself, you blew your nose and continued your thought. “- Too soon to tell. Not upset, just contagious. I’d keep my distance, if I were you.”

“Oh,” he said, putting his bag down on the desk in the front of the room. “Well, take care of yourself, then.” He started emptying his bag, then turned to you for a moment, then went back to what he was doing. “If you want to just head home to rest, I can promise there’s no quiz today.”

You considered fighting to stay, but when your professor was telling you to go home, you figured it was time to go home. “All right, but only because you told me to.” You packed up your bag and your tissues and stopped before you were out the door. “Thanks, Professor Winchester. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

With his back to you, he continued prepping for the class, but threw over his shoulder, “No problem, Y/N. Feel better.”

A part of your brain stayed stuck in your classroom, turning over the conversation in your mind to figure out why it bothered you. That part gave up the fight when you got home and crawled into bed. You put your phone on vibrate and passed out quickly.

Sunlight peeking through your curtains woke you the next morning, and you rolled out of bed only because your bladder demanded it. You ate some dry cereal for breakfast because your milk had expired, sent messages to your tutoring clients to cancel, and once again crawled back into bed to sleep.

It was loud banging on your door that woke you up next. Crawling out of bed, you staggered to the door, not caring what you looked like when you opened it.

“Oh, my God, Y/N, we thought you were dead,” Kelsey said, just loudly enough that you had to hold your head to contain the ringing her voice caused.

“Unfortunately, no, I’m not dead, yet. I just want to be.”

Kelsey cooed and clucked over you a little, putting a hand to your forehead to check your temperature, and then rifled through your cabinets while you lay down on the couch. You heard her talking, but you assumed it was to herself, and let yourself drift. When you woke up again, Allie and Emily were there, too. Allie was soon shoving pills and liquids down your throat, while Emily and Kelsey were cooking and cleaning. In less than an hour after you had woken up, you had hot soup in your stomach, your head had cleared a bit, and your aches had lessened.

“Thank you so much, guys. I feel so much better, already.”

“It’s amazing how medicine works  _ when you take it _ , Y/N,” Allie retorted, giving you one of her famous bitch faces.

Hiding your face in your soup bowl, you cowered, then gave her a grateful smile. “I’ve been sleeping! Sleeping is good, right?”

Allie’s bitch face continued and she rolled her eyes while bringing a box of tissues over to you. Emily refilled your soup bowl, and you saw Kelsey taking your sheets to your laundry closet. You smiled at your friends, and thanked God for bringing them into your life. They stuck around to make sure you were okay, putting fresh sheets on your bed and stocking the frig with the leftover soup for you to reheat later. After they left, you answered Cas’s worried texts to let him know you were okay, just sick, and went back to bed.

The next morning, you woke up to more banging on your door, but this time it was Cas. His arms were full of grocery bags, but he still managed to kiss you on the forehead as he walked in the door. He dumped the bags in the kitchen, then turned and took you in his arms, tucking your head into his neck, not caring that you were sick and grungy.

“My poor girl, feeling so sick. Why don’t you go take your medicine, which Allie told me you would forget, then take a hot shower and get into some clean pajamas? When you’re done with that, I’ll have some breakfast ready for you.” He kissed your head again and then pushed you towards the coffee table, where Allie had set up all of your medicines the night before.

You followed his instructions, taking your medicine and a long, hot shower, and you finally felt better than you had in days. Your stomach growled as you returned to the kitchen, to find Cas making scrambled eggs and bacon with toast and coffee.

“Is it a Novak thing that you all make breakfast for me? Because I could get used to this,” you joked, digging in to the plate of food he set in front of you.

“My best friend and I roomed together in college, and quickly discovered that there were valuable life skills we were missing because our older siblings had always just done things for us. We only lasted a couple of weeks before I broke down and begged Gabe and Anna to teach us how to cook and do laundry. By that point, we’d melted our good frying pan and all our underwear was pink.” Cas frowned, and you tried to stifle your laugh. “They were good teachers, though. I picked up cooking pretty quickly and my friend did well with the laundry, so it all worked out in the end.”

As he dug into his own plate of food, you watched him as he ate. He constantly amazed you. Not only was he good looking, he had a warm heart, a caring nature, and he was able to ask for help when he needed it instead of letting things fall apart. Add to all of that his skills in the kitchen, and in the bedroom, and you could actually see a future with this man.

You almost dropped your fork as a picture of a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog popped into your head.  _ Where did that come from? _

_ You would work from home so you could be there when the kids got off the bus. He’d come home a little later, and you would trade off cooking and playing with the kids, helping them with their homework and doing the dishes. After the kids had gone to bed, he’d be grading papers while you finished up some work next to him, or you both would watch TV, cuddled together on the couch. Later, he’d carry you to bed, nuzzling your neck until he tossed you on the bed…. _

“…okay, Y/N?” Cas was looking at you with concern in his eyes and you realized you’d been staring off into space.

“Uh, yeah. The cold medicine just makes me a bit loopy, I think.”  _ Yeah, blame it on the cold medicine, Y/N. _

“Where did you go, if you don’t mind my asking? Whatever you were thinking about it, it looked like you liked it.”

Your cheeks flushed and you ducked your head to hide your face. “Nothing, really. Like I said, the cold medicine, you know?” You shrugged nonchalantly, hoping he’d let it drop, and he did.

He stayed with you long enough to do the breakfast dishes and make sure you weren’t planning on trying to see tutoring clients that day or the next. When he was satisfied that you would be resting all weekend, he finally left, taking your keys with him to be extra sure you wouldn’t leave. You tried to stay awake and get some editing work done, but you found your mind wandering and your eyelids drooping. Before long, you were back in bed, dozing on and off, dreaming about a house with a big enough yard for a gigantic garden, complete with bee hives.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets over her cold, and she repays Cas for taking care of her while she was sick.

While you were sick, Cas was almost ridiculously attentive. He came back twice more on Saturday, and three times on Sunday, using your keys to let himself in, feed you, and give you your medicine in bed. Sunday afternoon, you were able to get a little work done, and when Cas woke you up Monday morning with another hearty breakfast, you felt much better. After giving you an exam that made you wonder if he was once pre-med, he declared you fit for school, but said he would still be by that night to check on you and cook you real food.

That’s how you got into the habit of Cas coming over to your apartment almost every night just to “check on you” and hang out. Sometimes he watched TV while you did whatever work you needed to do, and sometimes it was literally just a quick visit to kiss your forehead and wish you goodnight. Although you were back up and around for that first week, you were still sick, so this was the first time the two of you had spent time together without making out to some degree. Although it was torture to be so close to him and not be able to get closer, it was also nice to see that the physical wasn’t all there was between you.

By Friday, however, you were feeling almost back to normal, and you had developed an itch under your skin to be closer to Castiel. With him taking care of you all week, you had been able to catch up on all of your work, so you had big plans for when he came over that night. When you got dressed that morning, you picked out your prettiest red bra and panty set and put them on underneath your regular school clothes. Feeling naughty, but not too confident, you took a picture of just the area of your hip where the red lace covered your skin. The picture showed just enough that he would be able to tell it was your hip, but didn’t show anything truly scandalous or embarrassing. Smiling, you sent the picture to Cas with a note: _Can’t wait to see you tonight._ _Wearing something special just for you now that I’m feeling better. Hope you like the rest of the set when you see it._ You finished the text with a winky face emoticon, and hit send, then waited to see his response. When you didn’t get one right away, you figured he was either out for his morning run or already busy with Father Singer and finished getting dressed.

Ten minutes later, your phone dinged and it was a message from Cas:

Cas:  _ You can’t send me pictures like that, Y/N. _

It took you a few tries to come up with an inoffensive reply.

You:  _~~Oh, God, Shit,~~ Shoot, did I offend you? I’m so sorry. I was just trying to be flirty. _

Cas:  _ Not offended. Not offended at all. I love the picture. Just very surprised and incredibly aroused while trying to eat oatmeal across from Father Singer. _

Cas:  _ I almost swallowed my tongue, and in his rush to help me, he almost saw my phone. _

You:  _ Ohhh. Um, sorry? Are you alone, now? _

Cas:  _ I made my excuses and am back in my room to recover, yes. _

Weighing the pros and cons, you decided to continue being naughty, mostly to see how he’d react. You took off your shirt, and took a picture that showed just the swell of your breast and the top half of the cup of your bra. Again, nothing anyone wouldn’t see at a beach, but naughty, nonetheless. With a smile, you sent the picture and waited for his response.

Cas:  _ You know, priests aren’t supposed to masturbate. _

You laughed out loud and squirmed in your seat with arousal at the same time.

You:  _ Then wait until tonight and I’ll take care of it for you. _

Cas:  _ Too late. That second picture… it was… inspiring…. _

Cas:  _ Besides, priests also aren’t supposed to walk around with a tent in their pants. _

You:  _ Inspiring, huh? The thought of you being… inspired... is kind of, well, inspiring to me, too. But I don’t have time right now, so I guess I’m just going to have to think about that all day until I see you tonight. _

You finished the text with various winky face and kissy face emoticons and hit send.

Cas:  _ Then I’ll make sure I’m not late. _

Cas was true to his word and arrived exactly on time that night. The Chinese food you had ordered arrived shortly before he did, which was a good thing. Had the delivery guy arrived after Cas, you might not have answered the door.

As soon as you opened the door, Cas pushed into you, holding your head with both hands and crashing his mouth onto yours. The kiss was desperate and needy, all teeth and tongues, and Cas slammed the door shut behind him without breaking from you. Without losing contact with your mouth, he dropped his hands from your head down to the backs of your thighs, and startled you when he picked you up like you weighed nothing, wrapping your legs around his waist. You wound your arms round his neck to hang on while he walked you into your bedroom. When he was standing by your bed, his hands slid up from your thighs to your ass, squeezing it hard with both hands, then he let go of you completely. You clung to him for a moment, and then suddenly you were lying on the bed with him hovering over you, holding himself up so he wouldn’t crush you.

Cas grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled up, making you sit up so he could take it off in one easy movement. After that, everything was a flurry of fabric and shoes as you each worked to undress the other. When you were down to your bra and panties and Cas was in just his boxers, Cas laid you out on the bed, then sat back on his heels between your legs and just looked at you.

“All day, I’ve been thinking about those pictures you sent to me. Thinking about how they were just two pieces of a puzzle, and I was dying to put them all together.” He put his hands on your knees and slowly slid them up your legs, leaning forwards until his mouth met the skin above the waistband of your panties at the same time as his hands landed on your hips. He then moved one hand to the bed to support him, while the other hand kept sliding up your side while his mouth left a wet trail of kisses past your navel to the band of your bra. His eyes were on yours the whole time, watching your reactions to his every touch. He groaned as his lips passed over the fabric of your bra, then started kissing and licking the skin between your breasts. You arched your back against him and he took advantage of your movement to slide his hand behind your back to unclasp your bra. When he didn’t get it right away, you moved your hands up his biceps to his shoulders and pushed him away from you so you could sit up. When you were both upright again, you unclasped your bra for him, watching his eyes as you uncovered yourself.

No sooner was the bra on the floor than Cas pushed you back down on the bed, taking one breast in his hand while licking and sucking on the nipple of the other. He worked over both of your breasts with his hands and his mouth until you were writhing and moaning underneath him, scratching at his back and begging him for more, the heat building under your skin.

“Please, Cas, please, I need you, Cas, I need more,” you whimpered, bucking your hips to try and get more friction for your needy core. Letting your nipple fall out of his mouth with a pop, he continued his trail of wet kisses up your chest to your neck. Seeing your chance, you bent your knees so you could frame his hips, then wrapped one leg around him and pulled him down against you. You both groaned when his rock-hard cock pressed against your thigh. “Fuck, Cas,” you moaned, the feel of him so hard and hot against you, even through the fabric of his boxers, made the pool of wetness between your thighs almost uncomfortable.

Cas quickly moved off to your side, taking the pressure of his arousal away from your skin. With a whimper, you tried to pull him back, but he wouldn’t be moved. Instead, he kissed your neck and slid his free hand down to your panties.

“Do you have condoms?” Cas groaned in your ear as his fingers slid underneath the fabric and found how wet you were.

“Don’t need them. I’m on the pill, and we both said we’re clean – Cas!” Your voice was raspy, and the last word turned into a cry as his fingers pushed into you.

“You are always so wet and ready for me, Y/N. I wanted to do so much with you, but I don’t think I can wait any longer.” His voice was even deeper and rougher than it usually was, which you hadn’t thought possible, and it sent a shiver down your spine. His fingers were working you expertly again, thrusting into you deeply and finding every spot, every angle that made you cry out. Bolts of pleasure were shooting up your spine with each thrust, reducing your world to nothing outside of what he was doing to you.

“Don’t wait, Cas. Want you, Cas. Please, Cas, oh please!” He was quickly reducing your vocabulary to little more than his name, the heel of his hand rocking against your clit in time with the thrusts of his fingers.

He slowly removed his hand from your panties, leaving you whimpering in disappointment, but then he quickly sat up and pulled them down your legs, letting them sail to the floor. His boxers followed right after, and then he was settled between your thighs, pumping his cock slowly as he looked at you for permission.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” he asked, suddenly looking very young and vulnerable.

“Yes, Cas, I’m sure I want you.” He leaned over you once again, and you reached up to kiss him, trying to put all the care and devotion you felt for him into that one kiss.

He lined himself up, and then slowly pushed into you, not stopping until he was fully seated. Both of you seemed to hold your breath until he fully inside you, and then you both let it out together with a groan.

“You’re so warm, so wet, Y/N, you feel so good, I just need a minute….” Cas’s voice was strained and he looked like he was barely hanging on before his head dropped to your shoulder.

The full stretch of him inside of you felt so very right, and ignited a need for more, more,  _ more _ all over your body. You held back, sensing Cas needed more time, but soon your body would no longer be denied. Your hips began moving against his, and your nails scraped at his scalp as you grabbed at his hair.

“Cas, I need you to move, baby,” you whimpered, just ready to feel him pounding into you.

He slowly pulled back out, letting you both feel the drag of him against you, then thrust into you again. Both of you groaned with that first thrust, and you knew neither one of you would last long. He started moving more, then, trying to take it slow and make it last, but you were too impatient.

“Cas, I need you to just fuck me, baby. We can do slow later, but right now, I need it harder,” you begged, hoping to spur him into just pounding you into the mattress.

It worked. Cas stopped treating you like you were made of glass, and just hammered into you, roughly finding the spot that made you scream, and then hitting it with precision every time. His thumb found your clit and started pressing against it in time with his thrusts, and you exploded around him a moment later. Your entire body bucked up against his, clenching around him, your nails digging into his skin and your head thrown back as you cried out his name.

As you came down, he was still pounding into you desperately, his jaw locked up tight as he grunted with each thrust. “Cas, baby, let go. I wanna feel you come inside of me.” You pulled his head down to yours and kissed him roughly, sucking on his tongue and moaning, urging him to come.

He pulled his head away from you harshly as his body locked up, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, and his mouth open as he gasped and panted. You felt him grow impossibly bigger inside of you, making you clamp down on him harder in return. He pushed into you a few more times, each thrust having less force behind it than the one before, and you felt the warmth of his release spilling out of you between your thighs. His head dropped back to your shoulder as his arms buckled, and he rested on his elbows on top you, nuzzling into your neck while you wrapped your arms around him and rubbed his back.

When his breathing had slowed, he pulled out of you with a whimper you matched, and fell to your side. He pulled you to him, kissing you slowly and then laying his head on your chest. “That was incredible. It was never like that before. I think that this must be what Heaven feels like.”

You stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head, smiling at his words. Both of you just lay there for a while, enjoying the feel of being next to each other, until hunger finally pulled you from the bed. After you ate the reheated food, you tried to convince Cas to stay for a while longer, but he had to get back to the rectory before it was too late. He left after giving you a lingering kiss that just made you want him more.

Later that night, lying in bed, you pulled out your phone and stared at Cas’s picture.

You:  _ The bed feels too big without you here. Any news on your replacement? _

Cas:  _ He’s not coming until January. 55 days, and then I can stay all night. _

You:  _ I think I’m falling for you, Cas _ .

Cas:  _ That’s good, because I fell for you the moment you walked into my garden. _ [long line of hearts and kissy face emoticons]

You:  _ Good night, angel. _ [a slightly more sensible amount of hearts and kissy face emoticons]

Cas:  _ Good night, love. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret's out! (And man, Jess is a bitch!)

You spent all day Saturday trying to keep your mind off of Cas and actually get some work done. You failed fantastically.

Cas showed up that evening, and yet again, you fell into bed the minute he was in the door. It wasn’t as rushed as the night before, both of you taking your time to explore each other. When you were curled around each other afterwards, you felt him stiffen up.

“What’s wrong, Cas? You’re worried about something; I can feel it.” You pressed your lips to his neck and felt a shiver go down his spine.

“I just want to learn about all the different ways I can please you. You know so much more than I do, and I’m just desperate to catch up, I guess.” He tried to make it sound like nothing, but you could tell it really bothered him.

You stroked his face while you reached up and kissed him softly. “Then I’ll just have to teach you what I know, and when we’ve exhausted that, then we can do research together.” You smiled against his mouth, and when he pulled back, you winked at him. He gave you a nervous smile and you hoped you could reassure him soon that his inexperience didn’t bother you.

The next day, you thought about what you could do to show Cas that you wanted him just the way he was. By the time Cas had arrived at your apartment, you’d worked yourself up pretty well just thinking about all the things you wanted to do with him. As soon as he sat down on your couch, you climbed into his lap and began whispering into his ear everything you’d thought about all day. The two of you never made it off the couch that night. You didn’t even get undressed, really. You just pushed aside the clothing that was in the way and rode him hard while he latched onto your breasts with his mouth.

On Monday, you showed him the benefits of bending you over the back of the couch. And the kitchen table. You were eyeing the kitchen counter when he finally convinced you he had to go.

Tuesday night was Cas’s night at the shelter, and he convinced you to join him, since you wouldn’t really be able to see him if you didn’t. Working so closely together was very difficult, though. Every time he touched you in passing, your skin heated and your breath hitched. And you could barely keep your eyes off of his ass as he served the clients, or his arms as he carried heavy pots of soup or trays of sandwiches.

Near the end of the evening, when the last pot of soup was sent to the serving line, he grabbed you around the waist and dragged you outside. He pushed you up against the back wall of the building, away from the security light by the dumpster, and kissed you roughly, grinding his half hard cock into your hip.

“God help me, but I’m just not able to be this close to you without touching you. Having you help out here may have been a mistake.” He kissed you again, sliding his tongue against yours and grabbing your breast in one hand. Little whimpers and moans escaped your lips as desire ripped through your body. You’d had him so many times in the past few days, but it didn’t seem to matter. You wanted him again. Heat pooled in your belly while your arousal soaked your panties.

A sharp gasp from behind him stopped Cas’s every movement, and you jumped away from him.

“Father Novak??”

Cas dropped his head to his chest and his shoulders slumped. You tried to straighten out your clothes to make it look like you hadn’t just been grinding on a priest in a dark alley. Cas turned around, and you looked past him to see Jess standing just outside the kitchen door, mouth agape and face beet red. You felt your own face flush and worst-case scenarios flickered through your mind.  _ Of course, Jess will tell Father Singer, and Cas will lose everything.  _ You sighed as you wondered where that would leave you in Cas’s life. Would he resent you for being part of his downfall? Would he leave you? The thought put you in a panic. With that thought came the realization that you loved Cas. This had never been something casual, but it was so soon. Could love really happen this quickly? Warmth, mixed with terror, washed over you until Jess’s voice broke through your thoughts.

“Father Novak, please tell me this isn’t what it looks like,” Jess begged, a note of panic in her voice.

Cas sighed. “I wish I could, Jess. Believe me, I wish I could.” He looked over at you and tried to give you a reassuring smile. “Y/N, why don’t you go into the kitchen and make sure Jess and I have a moment alone to talk?” You nodded and walked carefully past Jess, trying to smooth out your hair and clothing as you went. Wanting to hear what was said, you stopped just inside the door to the kitchen, knowing that what you were doing was wrong, but not caring, anymore.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” Cas said.

“You’re a priest, shouldn’t you be sorry you were doing that, not just sorry you got caught?” Jess sniped.

“There’s something you don’t know, Jess. It doesn’t excuse me, but maybe it will help you to understand.”

“What could possibly make this understandable? You took vows!” Her voice began to rise, and you peeked out the door. Cas took a step closer to her to try and calm her, but she took a step back in return, putting her hands up defensively.

Cas raised his own hands in surrender and backed off. “I did take vows, and in January, I’m walking away from them. I’m leaving the Church, Jess. In a couple of months, I won’t be a priest anymore.”

Jess’s jaw was slack, and she covered her mouth with her hand. A chilly November breeze blew past, ruffling her red hair, and her hand dropped so she could wrap her arms around herself. “You’re giving it all up, walking away from your life,  _ for her?? _ She’s not even a practicing Catholic! She only goes to Mass when her aunt forces her to! And don’t get me started on the rumors about her past! Do you know about the men who visited her after her mother’s accident?” Jess’s voice was getting shrill, but she was at least keeping her volume low. She was almost gasping for air as the disbelieving indignation flowed from her. Anger welled up inside of you at Jess bringing up your past. She didn’t know you! Fear that Cas would consider Jess’s words and leave you stole your breath.

“The decision for me to leave was made long before Y/N and I got together. The paperwork was done weeks ago. And yes, I know all about her past and the men you’re referring to. As for her not being a Catholic, pretty soon, I won’t be one, either, so I can’t exactly judge her, now can I?”

“Why wait, then? If you’re so hot to get out of the Church and into her pants, why are you still here,  _ Father Novak?” _ You saw Cas struggle under Jess’s wrath, and wished you could help him, somehow. He rocked on his heels, as if she had actually pushed him with her words.

“Because I couldn’t leave Father Singer in a lurch, and my replacement won’t be here until January.” Cas shoved his hands in his pockets, alternating between looking at his feet and her face to see her reactions.

Jess’s anger visibly wilted, leaving only disappointment. She stood there, eyes darting from place to place, never landing on Cas’s face. She shifted from one foot to the other, tightening her arms around herself. Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them away. For a moment, you almost felt sorry for her. That ended when she spoke. “Then why  _ her _ ? What’s so special about  _ her _ ? If you were going to have a fling after deciding to break your vows, why did you choose  _ her _ ?”

A single tear fell from Jess’s eye, and she wiped it away quickly, but you still saw it. You fully realized then that she had a big crush on Cas. You wondered if Cas had any feelings for her. They’d known each other for months and had a lot in common. It would be natural for Cas to want her over you, someone who never went to church unless forced and had a sordid past.

“Because I love her. It’s not a fling, Jess. I’m in love with her. I didn’t mean for it to happen. If I had, I would have waited, believe me, but it did happen. It’s lousy timing, and I can’t be for her what either of us wants me to be right now, but I fell in love with her, and I can’t let her go.”

Happy tears gathered in your eyes as you heard your feelings echoed in Cas’s words.  _ He loves you!!! _ You couldn’t stop the grin that took over your face as you stared at the man you loved. He looked to you and you mouthed to him, “I love you, too,” and then blew him a kiss. Cas grinned in return, and you ducked back into the doorway out of sight.

“So, does this mean you’ll be going to Father Singer and telling him what you saw tonight?”

“He doesn’t know?”

“He knows I met her. He knows I have feelings for her. He doesn’t know we’re together. If he did, he’d have to make me leave immediately, because there’s no absolution without remorse, and, God help me, I feel no remorse for being with her.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “As far as he is concerned, I’m waiting until January to pursue her, because then I can stay and keep helping him. If he knew, he’d either be without help over the holidays to come, or he’d be just as guilty as I am for allowing it to continue. It’s better for him if he doesn’t know.”

“So, if I tell him, I’m only hurting him, that’s what you’re saying?” The bitterness in Jess’s voice was tangible.

“That’s what I keep telling myself to justify what I’m doing. I know I’m in the wrong, but I’m not strong enough to do what’s right, so I’m hoping God forgives me for my weakness and takes into account that I’m trying to do right by Father Singer as best I can.”

The two of them were quiet for a long time, and you peeked around the corner to see what was happening. Jess wiped a tear or two from her face while Cas shifted from one foot to the other and back.

“All right. I won’t tell anyone what I saw tonight. I’ll keep your secret, Castiel. Just, be more discreet, okay? If you can’t keep your hands off of her, then don’t be around her where you could be seen. Yous will ruin this for yourselves, otherwise.”

Cas heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Jess. And I promise, we’ll do better at keeping things casual when we’re in public.”

You saw Jess begin to turn around and ran from the doorway into the kitchen to pretend you hadn’t heard the whole thing. As you scrubbed at a dish, Jess stormed over to you.

“The fact that he sees anything worth loving in a used-up slut like you just proves that he’s an angel who deserves better. I swear to God, if you drag him down just to hurt him, I will destroy you.”

Jess’s blue eyes were fierce, her face redder than her hair, as she simmered with anger in front of you. She stalked off, taking the air around her with her. You actually had to catch your breath before you could go to Cas and make sure he was okay. What she said stripped you down and a flood of doubts rushed into your mind again.

You rushed back outside to see Cas sitting on the ground against the wall, his legs bent and his head resting on his knees.

“Cas? You okay?” He seemed startled by your voice, and almost hit his head on the wall behind him. You squatted down in front of him and reached out to him, hoping he would take your hand and reassure you that Jess’s words had meant nothing to him. Instead of reaching out to you in return, though, he shook his head and stood up, causing a bolt of panic to shoot through your chest.

“I’m okay, but we need to keep our distance when we’re in public. This can’t happen again.”

Hurt bloomed in your gut, but you understood what he meant. You dropped your hand and ducked your eyes, unable to look at him.

“She’s not going to say anything, but we can’t guarantee that the next person who catches us will be so agreeable.”

You nodded seriously. “All right.”

Cas leaned toward you for a moment, then tried to give you a reassuring smile before walking back into the shelter. His smile wavered, though, and you wondered what was going through his mind. Yes, he’d said he loved you, but maybe he was reconsidering that?

You stayed outside for a minute, breathing the cool night air into your lungs and trying to settle your stomach. Your phone dinged in your pocket and you took it out, hoping for something to distract you from the tumultuous emotions of the past few minutes.

Cas:  _ I wish I could hold you right now and tell you to your face that I love you. I hate that you had to hear it that way the first time. _ [a long string of various emoticons that all included hearts or kisses or smiley faces]

Your heart soared and your face broke into a wide smile. Cas loved you, and he wasn’t taking it back just because things had gotten difficult.

Y/N:  _ I wish you could, too, but I’m just glad I heard it. I love you, too, in case you missed it before. _ [a shorter string of emoticons, mostly hearts and kissy faces]

Cas:  _ I didn’t miss it, but it’s good to hear it again. Tomorrow, I’ll come over after dinner, and I’m going to say it over and over and over, just so you can hear it properly. _

Y/N:  _ I look forward to it. Good night, angel. _

Cas:  _ Good night, love. _


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your friends make you feel better and you make Cas feel a little extra good!

Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, you tried to focus on Cas’s words, not Jess’s, to help you fall asleep. Him telling her that he loved you, that you weren’t just some fling, made you happier than you’d been in a very long time. He had taken care of you while you were sick, and all that time spent together without the physical interfering had shown you how wonderful he really was. When you thought you might lose him, it scared you enough to make you realize how much he meant to you. How much you loved him. He wasn’t just a fling for you, either.

And now you were lying in bed, trying to convince yourself Jess was wrong about you. That having slept in a bed with two men at once didn’t make you horribly used. That having taken Cas to bed while he was still acting as a priest wasn’t a cardinal sin. That you weren’t ruining a good man.

You spent the next day working hard to shake Jess’s words, and thank God for your friends, who told you in no uncertain terms that she was wrong.

“Who does that bitch think she is? You know her shit stinks just as bad as everyone else’s,” Allie said, almost knocking her tray off the table she slammed it so hard.

“I believe it was her precious Savior who said, ‘Let he who has no sin cast the first stone’,” said Kelsey, as one of the other resident Catholics who had gone through confirmation class. “She is not acting very Christian-like, in my opinion.”

“Just because you’ve had more sex than she has doesn’t mean you’re used. What the fuck does that mean, anyway? Is she implying she’s a virgin? Does she realize the priest she’s after isn’t even a virgin?” Emily asked with a sneer.

“Well, since she caught us with his hand on my boob grinding on me, I think she has a pretty good idea that he isn’t a virgin, anymore,” you replied glumly. “God, I’ve never been so embarrassed. I don’t think I’ve ever been caught like that, not even in high school.”

The conversation went on, with all three of your friends assuring you that were not a slut, and that Jess was way off base. By the end of lunch, you felt tons better.

Cas also helped you to feel better, even though you didn’t tell him what Jess had said. When he came over that night, he whispered over and over that he loved you, pressing the words into your skin as he kissed every inch of your body.

Once you had decided that going out in public was a bad idea, the routine you fell into seemed more natural. School, then home to do work, Cas would come over, you’d have mind-blowing sex if he had enough time, he would go home, and you would go to bed alone. Sometimes, Cas would stay until you fell asleep, sneaking out while you were dreaming. Although you hated waking up alone, going to sleep cuddled up with him was better than nothing.

Before you knew it, Thanksgiving break was upon you, and you were never more glad for a break. Cas had plans with his family and friends on the day, so he decided to spend the day before with you. He had a Mass that night, but he said he was looking forward to using the extra key you’d given him and waking you up. You found out what he meant when you woke up to his fingers pressing into you while his lips sucked on one of your nipples. He had made you come twice before he even let you try and return the favor.

You could tell he was feeling a bit adventurous, so you reached into your bedside table’s drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube. He looked at it quizzically, but didn’t question you as you stripped his clothes off and laid him out on the bed for you to feast on. When you took him in your mouth, he completely forgot about everything else, his eyes rolling back in his head while he cried out your name. After you got him fully hard and soaking wet with your saliva, you paused, making him look down at you almost angrily.

“Cas, do you trust me?” you asked, following up your question with a kitten lick to the tip of his cock. His hips almost jumped off the bed and you smiled.

“Of course I – I, holy, I trust you, Y/N,” he stammered, panting and gasping as you left little licks and kisses on his hips and thighs.

“Okay, then. I’m gonna do something, and if you really don’t like it, then I’ll stop, but I think you’ll like it. Just tell me to stop if it’s too much, all right?”

Cas stared down at you with his eyes wide open, fear and nervousness evident, but he nodded, anyway. He trusted you completely.

Grabbing the bottle of lube, you spread some on your fingers and rubbed it around to warm it up. When you were satisfied with it, you sucked his cock back into your mouth, setting a slow pace that would keep him distracted, but not make him come. You moved your slick fingers between his thighs and gently touched the rim of his hole. He nearly choked you when his hips bucked up, but you were expecting it, so you merely moved with him. Slowly, you pushed one finger inside of him, gently thrusting while you twirled your tongue around his cock until he relaxed. Once you felt his muscles give, you pushed in a bit farther, and began stroking him, looking for that magic spot that would light him up like a Christmas tree. You found it quickly, and when you did, he cried out your name so loudly you thought the neighbors might complain.

He looked down and met your eyes, surprise and awe all over his face. You started thrusting into him in earnest, matching your thrusts to the bobbing of your head, making sure you hit that spot every time and pushing your tongue against the underside of his cock. He came quickly after that with a shout, filling your mouth faster than you could swallow. When he had stopped jerking into your mouth, you removed your finger and licked his cock clean, then grabbed some tissues and wiped down his ass and your fingers. He was still panting hard, so you left him for a moment to throw away the tissues and wash your hands. When you returned, he was still lying spread eagle on your bed with his eyes closed and a blissed-out smile on his face. You climbed back into bed with him, pulling the covers over you both and snuggling into his side.

When he finally moved, he pulled you closer to his side and lifted your face to kiss you. “That was incredible! How did you know how to do that?”

You chuckled, but you felt your face flush, anyway. “Cas, I was in love with a couple of gay men. Until I came along, neither of them had had sex with a woman. They knew everything about anal sex, and they taught me a lot.” You dropped your gaze, remembering Jess’s words, and you tried not to frown.

Cas saw your face change, though, and grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “Hey. What just happened? What just upset you?”

You tried to shake it off, but Cas wouldn’t let you. “Fine, I’ll tell you. I’m just worried that soon you’ll realize how, well,  _ used  _ I am, and you’ll leave me for someone a little more, I don’t know, innocent.” You buried your head in his shoulder, unable to look him in the eye.

Cas kissed your head and stroked your hair. “And I’m worried you’ll get tired of teaching me how to please you and you’ll leave me for someone more experienced.”

Your head flew up in shock and you saw the worry on Cas’s face. “No, Cas! I said I love you and I meant it! I would never leave you for something so stupid.”

Cas smiled and kissed you softly. “And I love you, and I would never leave you for something so stupid, so can we forget about that, and just enjoy each other?” He looked into your eyes and smiled reassuringly until you nodded and smiled back. “Good. I will never fault you for how you learned how to make me feel like that. In fact, I should give those guys a fruit basket or something.”

You burst into a fit of giggles, and Cas joined you, eventually kissing you until all your doubts were forgotten.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet the infamous Tristan and Ross!!

In spite of Cas’s protests, you had to drag yourself out of bed in the afternoon to run errands. Thanksgiving would be spent with your aunt, and it was your tradition that you always bought pies from a diner near your old college where you used to work. They made the best pies you had ever tasted, and you always made sure to order some ahead of time to make sure they had what you wanted. It was over an hour’s drive away, so if you were going to make it before they closed, you had to leave around noon.

Considering how far away from the church you were going, Cas decided to go with you, dressed in his casual clothes without his collar, so the two of you could have some couple time outside of your apartment. You were still nervous about someone seeing the two of you together, but he assured you that it would be okay, as long as you both kept your hands off of each other. It meant no holding hands or kissing, but at least you’d be together.

The drive out was nice, even though all the leaves had fallen off of the trees and everything was basically brown. The traffic wasn’t bad, and the company was certainly good.

When you got to your old college town, you drove around a bit, showing Cas some of your old haunts. Even though it had only been a few years, so many things had already changed. When you pulled into the diner’s parking lot, though, everything looked the same.

You walked in the door with Cas right behind you, and the woman behind the counter saw you right away. “Y/N!! It’s so good to see you, boo!” She rushed around the counter and tackled you into a hug, making you smile. Compared to you, Cait was small, coming in at only a couple of inches over five feet tall, but her big personality made up for her diminutive size. She always had a sassy smile for her regulars, and took no shit from the college kids that frequented the diner. When she finally let you go, you looked behind her and saw her husband, Gad, waiting for a hug, too. Unlike Cait, he was huge, even taller than Cas by a couple of inches or so, but he was so quiet, sweet, and sincere, everybody called him a teddy bear. When he hugged you he enveloped you in warmth, and gave you a kiss on the cheek as he let you go.

“Cait, Gad, this is Castiel. He’s a friend of mine who decided to ride with me today.” Cait gave Cas a hug he didn’t quite expect, but Gad just shook his hand firmly with a curious smile.

“Castiel, huh? It’s rare I find someone like me, whose parents had a thing for angels,” Gad said, putting his arm around his wife.

Cas looked up at Gad and smiled. “I’m guessing Gad is short for Gadreel, then?”

Gad smiled widely and nodded. “Yes. My mother was obsessed with angels. I’m not sure why she decided to go for Gadreel instead of something more common, like Michael or Gabriel, but I love her, anyway.”

Gad and Cas seemed to head off into their own conversation leaving you and Cait to your own. You both stared after the men who just walked away without you and then turned to each other and laughed.

The diner was slow, so Cait was able to sit down with you for a few minutes and catch up. She guessed pretty quickly that you and Cas were together, and gave him her seal of approval. You wondered if she’d approve if she knew the truth.

“You know, I’ve been seeing those boys of yours around here a lot, lately. Stick around long enough, you might catch them. They have a pie order to pick up.”

Your mind raced with the thought of Cas meeting Tristan and Ross. What would he think of them? What would you think of them? What would they think of you? You hadn’t seen them in years, and had only been Facebook friends since the breakup. You knew they had gotten married the minute it became legal, and wished them well, but you weren’t really sure you were up for your past to run into your present, and hopefully your future.

You shook your head, pushing away the worries, and instead asked Cait how her kids were doing. Gad and Cas joined you, Gad bringing out his phone to show you pictures of the kids. After a few minutes, some more customers came in, meaning Cait and Gad had to get back to work, but Cas convinced you to stay around for a late lunch so you all could talk some more if business got slow again. You looked nervously at the door, but couldn’t refuse without looking suspicious.

Your worst fears were realized when you were eating dessert. You were facing the door, so you saw them first, and they quickly saw you. Tristan was almost as tall as Gad, with shaggy, golden blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes. He had a ready smile, and was always the quieter and sweeter of the two. Ross was about Cas’s height, with jet black hair and warm, brown eyes. Ross was always the extroverted one, always loud and brash, but inviting everyone around him to join in the fun.

Tristan saw you first, his eyes widening as his mouth went slack, then he tapped Ross’s arm and pointed to you. Ross’s face lit up, and he called out to you from across the diner.

“BUNNY!” he yelled, making your eyes widen and your eyebrows meet your hairline. Did he really have to call you  _ that _ while yelling across a diner? He ran over and literally picked you up out of your chair and spun you around like you were a child. You clung to his neck for dear life, worried you’d fly across the room if you let go. When he finally put you down, he grabbed your face and gave you a firm kiss on the mouth, completely catching you by surprise.

You were still standing in shock, wondering what had just happened when Ross turned you around to greet Tristan. Tristan put his hands on your shoulders, rubbing your arms while he smiled down at you, letting you get your bearings for a moment. When he saw your head stop spinning, he pulled you into a bear hug, cradling your head to his shoulder and kissing your hair. He murmured in your ear how much had missed you and how glad he was to see you while he rubbed your back. Just when you thought Tristan would let you go, you felt Ross come in behind you and hug you both, effectively trapping you between the two of them.

Memories of how safe you had always felt when they hugged you like that flooded back into your brain and you instinctively relaxed. You thought they might keep you there forever, until you heard someone clearing their throat outside of your little circle. Ross let you both go, and Tristan eased his hold on you, but kept an arm around your shoulders. You looked around and saw Cas was now standing next to his seat at the table, looking a bit uneasy at the two giants that had taken over his girlfriend.

Easing out of Tristan’s hold, you took a step toward Cas, putting yourself under his arm with one arm around his waist and turning back towards the boys. “Cas, this is Tristan and Ross. Boys, this is Cas.”

Tristan gave you a sad smile, but Ross leaped in and shook Cas’s hand excitedly. “Glad to meet you, man! Any friend of our little Bunny is a friend of ours.”

When Ross backed up, Tristan stepped forward to shake Cas’s hand. “Yes, It’s nice to meet you.” He looked like there was something more he wanted to say, but he just closed his mouth and smiled.

Ross took over everything, then, which you really should have expected. He called to Cait to bring everyone some coffee, and situated himself and Tristan across the table from you and Cas. Knowing how overwhelming Ross could be to someone new, you held Cas’s hand under the table, giving it a squeeze every now and then.

After a few minutes, you found out that they had moved back because Ross had a teaching gig at a local high school during the day, and a band that played at some local bars a few nights a week. Tristan had then found a local theater that was looking for a production manager, so they were both doing pretty well. Tristan was sitting across from you, and you could see his emotions flashing across his face. Ross’s voice almost faded completely out of your awareness as you studied Tristan.

Ross brought you out of your reverie by asking you how you were doing. “I’m the same. Still in school, still doing the edit work for The Press and tutoring to keep food on the table. I met Cas a little over a month ago, and so far things are going pretty good, right, Cas?” You looked up at Cas, and he looked down at you with a reassuring smile.

“Yeah. You could say that,” Cas said, quietly. He looked at the boys across the table, then back at you. “It was pretty much love at first sight for me.” He cleared his throat and gave you a nervous smile, so you squeezed his hand and smiled back at him.

“So, Cas, what do you do with your time when you’re not driving all over the state for pie?” asked Ross, using his inborn talent to smooth over any and all rough spots in a conversation.

You felt Cas panic at the same time you did. Thinking fast, you spit out the first thing that came to mind. “He’s a substitute teacher and gardener. He does a lot of work at my aunt’s church, and that’s actually how we met.”

Both boys looked at you with wide eyes. Ross was the one to speak up, though, of course. “You went to church with your aunt, and it wasn’t Christmas? Who are you and what have you done with our Bunny?”

You laughed and shook your head. “It’s a long story, guys. I know I didn’t have many good things to say about my aunt before, well, you know, but things have changed. She really stepped up when everyone else fell away.”

Both men in front of you dropped their heads and sighed. Tristan reached out and grabbed the hand that wasn’t squeezing Cas’s under the table. “Y/N, you have to know, we hated leaving you like that. If your mom could’ve handled us being around….” Tristan’s voice choked up as his words failed.

Ross put his own hands around yours and Tristan’s and looked at you pleadingly. “Bunny, we missed you so much. You have no idea how much we wanted to be closer to you. We even considered switching schools to be closer to you, but we couldn’t make it work.”

Looking at the two sad faces in front of you nearly broke your heart. “It’s okay, guys. I’m okay. It was rough there for a while, but it’s better, now. Aunt Naomi and I have just gotten a bit closer, even though sometimes she still drives me up a wall. I’ve made new friends at school, and now I’ve got Cas. Things are good for me, really.”

Both of them looked at you, then at Cas, then back to you, then nodded with a sad smile. Cait chose just that moment to come up and inject herself in the conversation with coffee refills and reports on your pie orders, and you heaved a sigh of relief. Cas pointed out that you had to leave soon so he would be back in time, so you hit the bathroom quickly, picked up your pies, and picked up some pies Cas had decided to purchase for his own Thanksgiving celebration. If nothing else, Tristan and Ross got a good laugh out of Cas’s comment that Cait’s pies were definitely better than his brother’s erotic cakes.

As Cas and Ross shuffled out the door with the boxes of pies balanced between them, Tristan held you back just enough to speak quietly so the others wouldn’t hear.

“Cait told us you’d be coming today. If we hadn’t seen you today, we were going to track you down because we missed you.” He turned you so you were looking up at him, his hands on your arms. “We were going to ask you to come back to us, but it looks like we waited too long.” He sighed, dropping his gaze for a moment, then he looked back up at you. “But I can see how you feel about him, and how he feels about you. He’ll be good to you.” Tristan pulled you into another bear hug and murmured in your ear. “But if he’s not, you call us, and we’ll straighten him out.”

You chuckled and pulled away, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “If he’s not, I’ll straighten him out. I’m a grown ass woman, now, you know?”

Tristan smiled, and you enjoyed it for the fraction of a second you had before Ross grabbed you from behind with a roar and picked you up, spinning you around again like you were nothing. When he finally put you back down, he spun you so you were facing him and planted another kiss on your mouth before you could even stand straight. When he pulled his face away, he looked at you seriously and said, “Don’t be a stranger, Bunny.”

With a lump in your throat, you nodded, swallowing thickly.

“You need anything, anything at all, just call, got it?”

Another nod, and he finally let you go, handing you over to Cas, who put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to his warmth in the cold November sunshine. You both watched the boys get into their car and pull out, then you got into your own and started driving, your mind spinning while your hand clasped Cas’s.


	18. Chapter 18

On the drive home, an uncomfortable silence fell over the car. You tried playing the radio, but couldn’t find decent music to save your life. You settled for a pop music station just for some noise.

“So, why did Ross keep calling you Bunny?”

Crap. Could he have asked a worse question? Your cheeks flushed so hot you thought you might actually lose a layer of skin.

“Ummm, well, he used to say that when he went down on me I was like the Energizer Bunny.” Your voice was unsteady and you squirmed in your seat. Cas didn’t really want to know specifics, did he?

“Oh.”

The car was quiet for a while, the radio playing softly in the background.

You chuckled nervously. “Yeah, Ross always loved embarrassing me with that. Tristan used to call me Thumper because he found a couple of ticklish spots I have that would make my leg jump. He’d hit me with them all the time, like in diners or movie theaters and make me kick people. He did it in bed once and I kicked Ross in the head.”  _ Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!!! _

In spite of the word vomit that left you mortified, Cas actually chuckled. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as you had thought?

The rest of the ride was basically quiet, one or both of you singing along to the radio every now and then. When you got back to your apartment, Cas had to leave right away, but he took a moment to kiss you thoroughly.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, with all of this sneaking around, but I love you, and you are so important to me. Soon, this will all be behind us, and then I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to you.” He planted his lips on yours, then, just sliding them together while he held you close. When you both needed air, he cradled your head with his hand, laying your head on his shoulder. He held you that way for several minutes, seemingly not wanting to let you go, making you feel his love wrapped around you. Even though you really wanted him to stay, you finally pulled away from him, citing the time and how he’d be late if he stayed any longer.

Thanksgiving morning, you received a text from Cas.

Cas:  _ I miss my mother. _

Y/N:  _ I miss my mom, too. Aunt Naomi is nice, but it’s not the same. _

Cas:  _ It will be good to see my siblings and my friends, but you’re right. It’s not the same. _

Y/N:  _ You’re coming over here afterwards, right? _

Cas:  _ Yes. I don’t know what time, though. _

Y/N:  _ I’ll get a bottle of wine chilled and some liquor ready and we can drink until it doesn’t hurt so much. _

Cas:  _ Sounds like a plan. _


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a request you don't expect.

Sitting in your boyfriend’s lap, wearing nothing but a tank top and panties, looking at his earnest, but nervous, face, the past 48 hours slammed into your head all at once and you almost giggled. First, your exes had said they wanted you back. Then, your aunt had found one of Cas’s marks and scolded you for both hiding him and having premarital sex. Boy, if she had heard what her priest had just said to you, her head would explode. Now was not a time for giggling, though. Your boyfriend wanted to expand his sexual repertoire, and giggling would be a really poor response to his request.

“I’m sorry, Cas, can you say that again?”

He took a deep breath and spit out what he wanted so fast you almost didn’t understand him again. “Iwanttotryathreesome.”

Your head bobbed for a moment as you thought, then cocked to the other side. “Of all the things I thought you might say, a threesome wasn’t really high on the list, I gotta say.” You stared at Cas, trying to read his mind.

Cas chuckled, but it sounded slightly choked. He rubbed your back and let his eyes drift all over you while he spoke, not quite meeting your eyes. “Well, there are a lot of things on my list that are higher, but an opportunity has presented itself, if you agree to it.”

Taking a deep breath, you tried to give serious thought to what Cas is proposing, but the  _ why  _ of it all kept nagging at you. “Is this Gabe’s idea?”

Cas reddened further and cleared his throat before steadfastly studying an imaginary piece of lint on his shirt. “Kind of. But I wouldn’t be asking if it weren’t something I truly wanted to try.” He brought his eyes up to meet yours and you saw the sincerity shining there. “This isn’t some kind of childish dare from my brother. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I know, Cas, I just didn’t expect this to come from you.” You searched his face while you wondered what had brought this up between the brothers. Obviously, something to do with Tristan and Ross had brought it up. Exactly what, though, was the question. No matter what caused him to make the request, it was still sitting there, and included an ‘opportunity,’ apparently. “I’m guessing this opportunity is either your brother or the friend you told me about?”

“My friend, yes. It just so happens that he doesn’t have to work tomorrow, and Father Singer has agreed to cover any pastoral duties tomorrow, and I know you don’t have school or tutoring sessions, and I know you, uh, you know, have experience with this….” As Cas listed off all the reasons why this had to happen tomorrow, his eyes pleaded with you.

“Well, give me a minute to think about this. I mean, I know what you’re thinking, but this is different than what I had with Tristan and Ross. You and your friend don’t have the same relationship Tristan and Ross have, and I don’t know your friend, so the whole dynamic will be different. I mean, with me and the boys, it was anything goes, but your friend being involved means there’s going to have to be rules.”

“Oh, yes! He and I already discussed rules!” Cas’s eyes were as wide as his grin, and you again had to stifle a giggle.

“Okay, so you and he have rules. Well, you and I would need rules, too. I don’t want to do something when we’re with him that makes you uncomfortable. And if something comes up that we didn’t expect, we need to decide now how to handle it.”

Cas took in your worried expressions and his face fell. “So, you don’t really want to do this, then?”

Pure love erupted in your chest, squeezing your heart until you almost couldn’t breathe. “That’s not what I said. I just said, we need to talk, first.”

Cas grinned, and you gave him a soft kiss. Nuzzling into his neck, you decided to tease him with your mouth and hands while you teased him with your words. “Like, is he allowed to touch you like I do?” You pressed your chest into his while stroking his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with your fingernails, and leaving open-mouthed kisses on his neck.

Cas cleared his throat and very clearly and definitively said, “No.”

“Okay.” Moving your hands to the top of his shirt, you opened his top few buttons and then kept trailing kisses around his neck until you were close to his other ear. “Is he allowed to touch me like you do?”

Cas’s hands had slid down your back and were cupping your ass as you spoke. When you asked your question, he squeezed the flesh there and let out a quiet growl. “Mostly.” His hands slid down your thighs to where your knees where framing his hips, then back up to your panties. One thumb pulled your panties to the side while the other teased your clit, making you grind into his thighs. After a couple of swipes, his thumb moved down to your entrance, teasing your folds.

“Only my cock gets to go here,” Cas growled into your neck. “I told him everything else was your choice, but he can’t have that.”

His thumb went back to your clit, spreading around the wetness it had gathered from your entrance and circling. His lips found a spot on your neck that made you mewl, and he camped out there with his mouth, licking and sucking. At the same time, he spread his legs, spreading yours even further, then used his other hand to push two fingers slowly inside of you. He instantly found your sweet spot and began rubbing it, thrusting his fingers in and out of you and matching the motions with his thumb on your clit. Bolts of pleasure shot through your body, winding you up quickly. “Only my cock gets to feel you clench down on it as you come so beautifully. He can feel it with his fingers or his mouth, but not his dick. That’s  _ mine _ .”

His fingers sped up and your orgasm crashed over you. Your head rolled back onto your shoulders as you panted and gasped, crying out his name. He worked you through it, then licked his fingers clean and rubbed your back as you collapsed against him. When you came back to your senses, you scrabbled at his pants, lifting yourself off of his lap to give you space to push his pants down just enough to free his cock. Once you had him in your hand, you pumped him steadily, enjoying the silky hardness of him. His mouth claimed yours, his tongue pushing past your lips with a moan.

When you came up for air, you grabbed Cas’s chin, forcing him to look at you. “And this, Cas, is mine,” you said, panting heavily. “Just like I’m yours, you are mine. Got it?”

Cas nodded his head, his pupils blown and his lips parted as he panted with you, his hips bucking into your hand.

When you couldn’t wait a moment longer, you shifted your hips above him, pushed your panties to the side again, lined him up with your entrance, then impaled yourself on his shaft. His head fell back on the couch as you rode him mercilessly, taking what you wanted. Your second orgasm built up quickly, spurred on by Cas’s feral growls and grunts. When your body let go, you clamped down hard on his cock, making him cry out and follow you. Your bodies moved together as you both came down, until you finally settled against each other. As you felt your combined release trickle down your thigh, you groaned into Cas’s neck.

“I love you, Cas, but we’ve got to start making it into the bedroom. If we keep doing this on the couch, I’m gonna have to invest in one of those upholstery cleaning machines.”

You both got up and cleaned up in the bathroom, then you crawled into bed, with Cas following behind you fully dressed. Once you were settled in his arms, he kissed your head.

“So, you’re okay with the idea of a threesome? Should I tell him we’re on?”

Nodding sleepily, you threw a leg over one of his. “Well, I want to meet him and talk to him, first. But pending that, as long as he knows I’m yours first, then yes. Whatever you want, Cas.”

The next day, as you battled the Black Friday traffic to get to the coffee house where you were meeting Cas and his friend, your mind buzzed. Obviously, meeting Tristan and Ross had awakened some insecurities in Cas. Cas was all but a virgin before he met you, and the one story he’d heard about your bedroom activities with the boys made them out to be some kind of sex experts. Cas didn’t know how clueless they had been when they first had sex with you. He didn’t know about the failed experiments, even though some of them ended in laughter. All Cas knew was that your history included two huge guys who knew your body inside and out.

With that in mind, you expected Cas to be curious and want to try new things, but you just didn’t see what he’d get from a threesome with another man. With another woman, at least he’d get more experience pleasing a woman, not that you thought he needed it. For someone with so little experience, he’d figured out your buttons pretty quickly. Faster than Ross, anyway. But if a threesome with his friend was what he wanted, you’d give it to him.

Finding a parking space in the holiday shopping rush was nearly impossible. Getting in the door of the coffee shop almost got you knocked out by an irate customer on their way out.  When you realized the line to order ended at the door, you gave up on the idea of having a drink to fortify you for the meeting ahead, and pushed past the line to search the shop for Cas. You kept pushing through the crowd of people waiting for their coffee, until finally you saw Cas’s messy dark hair at a table in the corner. After almost getting knocked over twice more, you blindly pushed through the last of the crowd in Cas’s direction. Stopping a moment to take a breath and straighten yourself, you looked at Cas and smiled.

And then you saw his friend.


	20. Chapter 20

Cas seemed oblivious to your shock, or the matching expression on his friend’s face, when he stood up to greet you with a hand on your arm.

“Y/N, this is my friend, Sam. Sam Winchester, this is Y/N,” Cas said, moving you closer to the table.

Sam stood up, a million emotions flickering across his face, his eyes wide and his mouth pressed into a tight line. He rubbed a hand over his face while you just stared at him, making connections in your mind. Cas hadn’t told you much about his friend, just that they’d grown up together and he had an older brother who was a ladies’ man (obviously Dean) who had all but raised them after Gabe moved out. Now that you thought about it, if Cas had even mentioned his name, you’d never heard it.

Realizing that you and Sam were just staring at each other, and Cas was starting to shuffle nervously, you shook your head and put up a hand to keep either of them from talking. A coffee shop so crowded you couldn’t stop touching people was no place to discuss any aspect of a threesome with a priest and your professor. Not even why it couldn’t happen.

Your hand still up keeping them quiet, you tried to speak just loudly enough that they heard you, but no one else. “Not here. My apartment. Now.”

Without another word or look at either them, you turned and fought your way back out of the shop. You didn’t even look back when you got in your car, nor did you look for Cas’s car in your rearview mirror. When you got home, you focused on getting inside your building, and then getting inside your apartment, and on  _ not _ looking around to see if your priest or your professor had found a decent parking spot, or had even made it to your block. Once in your apartment, you sat down on the edge of your recliner, elbows resting on your knees, wringing your hands.

You loved Cas. But damn...Professor Winchester. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? It would be easy to have a casual thing with someone you didn’t know, someone you didn’t like. This was your  _ professor _ . He was responsible for your grade. And you liked him, as a person, as a professor, as a firefighter. Professor Sam the firefighter. You didn’t want to risk your relationship with Cas just to see what was under those heavy, flame-retardant pants.

You’d only been thinking for two minutes when there was a knock on your door. You opened it to see Professor Winchester standing there, eyes still wide, but now his hair looked like he’d done nothing but run his hands through it during his drive over. As you waved him in, Cas burst through the stairwell door across the hall, his hair also standing on end, questions all over his face. You waved him in the door, too, but grabbed his arm. Once the door was shut, you used both hands to pull his head to you and kissed him. You kept your hands on his head when you backed away, and just looked him in the eyes for a moment, trying to make sure he knew he had done nothing wrong and you still loved him, no matter what.

“Cas, your friend, Sam, is my Mythology professor.”

Cas’s eyes widened and then closed for a moment, realization sinking in. He sighed, then his eyes opened wide again. “Sam, how did you know where Y/N lives? You lit out of the coffee house before I could say a word!”

You stroked Cas’s hair to get his attention back to you. “The fire. He was one of the first responders.” Cas relaxed at that, giving you a quick kiss and heading toward the couch, where Sam was already sitting.

Peering at Sam for a moment, you wondered why he hadn’t told Cas what was happening at the coffee shop, or in the parking lot, or in your parking lot. Maybe he was as freaked out by all of this as you were?

“I figured it was better we do this here than in the coffee shop, no matter what we decide. I don’t know about you guys, but there’s no part of this that I want anyone to be able to overhear or misunderstand.”

Both men nodded, looking between each other and you nervously. You had really hoped one of them would speak up by now, but they both sat there, apparently waiting for you to get the conversation started.

“Okay, now that the introductions are done and we all know each other, how does this new information change the situation?” You could think of a few ways it would change, but you really wanted someone, anyone, that wasn’t you to open their mouths, already.

“Well, it doesn’t change anything for me, but I see how it changes a lot for the two of you,” Cas said with a sigh as he stared at his friend.

Sam met Cas’s stare, then ran his hand through his hair again. “My only concern is discretion, unless you want to wait a month until the semester is over.” Sam looked at you, but you couldn’t read his face. “I know your friends know about Cas, but since they’re students, they can’t know about me. People slip up, no matter how careful they are.”

“We’d have to shut up Gabe, too. He’s dating one of my friends. In fact, I’m wondering why he didn’t make the connection before now.”

Sam’s hands were both in his hair, now. “Oh, God. Anyone but Gabe.”

Cas straightened up and faced his friend. “Hey, I doubt Gabe even considered that Y/N could be one of your students. He probably figured that she couldn’t be, or we would have figured this out before now. We just never tell Gabe that she was ever your student.”

Sam looked at Cas, his brow furrowed. Cas gave Sam a reassuring smile, and Sam threw up his hands and leaned back on the couch.

“All right, then. Nobody tells Y/N’s friends about me, nobody tells Gabe that Y/N is my student, and we’re all clear.”

Both men turned to you. You stared at both men, the heat rising in your cheeks. “Well, then, I guess we’re doing this.” They both nodded at you, and all three of you took a deep breath and sighed.

A long, awkward pause fell over the room, and your brain swirled to figure out what to say next. Finally, something sensible hit you. “So, Sam, are you clean, or do we need to go buy condoms?”

Sam’s shoulders relaxed and the tension in his face slipped away. “I’m clean. I was tested after my last partner, which was months ago. I take it you’re on the pill, then?”

You nodded, blushing at the memory of Cas telling you the rule he made with Sam. “Cas told me that you two have already set ground rules, and the ones I heard about I agreed with. I don’t have anything to add, except that I’d like to use the color system if anyone gets uncomfortable.”

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise, and then his lips turned up in a small smirk as he nodded. “Red for stop, yellow for pause and talk, green for go.” Cas nodded at Sam’s explanation, but Sam wasn’t looking at him to see it. He straightened up and looked at you intently. “Dom or sub?”

“Switch, but I prefer sub. Can’t say I’ve done anything too heavy, though. You?”

“Dom. Bondage?”

“I’ve been tied up a bit, but nothing I couldn’t get out of if I really needed to.”

“Discipline?”

“I’m not into pain, and spanking doesn’t do much for me, but if my partner really gets off on it, then I could see myself getting off on them getting off on it.”

“Ever call anyone Daddy?”

You grimaced. “Sir, yes. Daddy no. I could stand Master, even, but not Daddy.”

Sam grinned. “I can live with Sir. Anal play?”

“I’m guessing Cas mentioned the men I was involved with before?” Sam nodded. “Yes, I’m okay with anal play.”

“Anything you don’t like that I haven’t mentioned?”

“Humiliation isn’t my thing. I got called a slut and a whore outside the bedroom too many times for it to be a turn-on inside the bedroom. Um, and no pain, like I said.” Your gaze dropped and your voice petered out as you tried to think of anything else and hide your embarrassment about the names.

Sam reached over to you and grabbed your hand, forcing you to look at him. His eyes were wide and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. “Hey, I get it. You don’t like it; we don’t do it.” He squeezed your hand and gave you a sad smile.

Nodding, you smiled and heaved a sigh of relief. When the moment was over, Sam let your hand drop, then cleared his throat.

“Anything you particularly do like that I haven’t mentioned?”

Your cheeks flushed and you looked away as you tried to think about what you liked. “Um, nothing that pertains to a one-time threesome.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the men shift. When you looked that way, you saw them break a look that had passed between them, and then Sam’s entire demeanor changed. It was subtle, and you stared at him to try and figure out exactly what happened. He leaned back, relaxing almost, hands resting on his thighs. He turned to you with a predatory smirk, his eyes hooded.

“Little girl,” he said, his voice almost an octave lower than it had been previously. “I asked you what you like, and I expect an answer.”

One glance at Cas showed you he was watching the two of you with interest.

“Don’t look at him, Y/N. Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

Part of you was screaming about how you hadn’t even agreed to this, yet. You had planned on at least kissing Cas’s friend before making a decision. The rest of you was warming up. Your cheeks were still burning, a trail of goosebumps went down your body, and your panties were suddenly damp. That rational part tried to fight it, but your eyes went back to Sam.

“Good girl. Now, I’ll ask you again, and you’d better answer this time. What do you like in bed?”

Still hesitant, you took a deep breath and let it out. Sam’s eyes hardened, but his smirk remained.

“What makes you wet, little girl? Be a good girl, tell me what you want, and maybe you’ll get it.”

You squirmed in your seat, and Sam’s eyes registered the movement. Unable to stop yourself, you glanced at Cas again, but he was as tense as you were.

“Y/N. Are you looking to be punished? You said you didn’t like spanking, but I do, and if you don’t answer, that’s what you’ll get.” Sam leaned forward, now, his eye boring into yours. “What. Do. You. Like?”

“I like pleasing my partner. Whatever makes him feel good makes me feel good.” Not wanting to get into what really pushed your buttons this early in the game, you hoped that answer would get you off the hot seat. And everything about you felt hot just then.

Sam grinned. “Good girl. I understand we have all day and all night, so let’s get started.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is...what you've been waiting for!!

Sam stood up, took off his jacket, and held a hand out to you to help you out of your seat. When you were standing, he was so close to you that you could smell his cologne. You looked up at him a little fearfully, not sure what was going to happen next. His eyes got darker as they roamed your face, and he brought his hands up to cradle your head. He watched you take a nervous breath and let it out, then gave you a hungry but reassuring smile. Slowly, his head lowered to yours and he gave you a soft kiss. Your hands had been hanging at your sides, twitching as you wondered what he was going to do, but when his lips met yours, you put your hands at his waist. As he deepened the kiss, licking against your lips until you opened up to him, your hands slid to his back, working under his shirts to find bare skin.

The kiss overwhelmed you. He tasted of the coffee he had been drinking, his lips were soft and dry, and his tongue moved against yours teasingly, like he was just testing the waters. The skin you could feel on his back was smooth and warm, almost hot, and you leaned into him to get closer to his heat. He pulled his lips from yours so you could breathe, then wrapped his arms around you, pressing you tightly to his chest. He cradled your head gently with one hand, encouraging you to rest your head on his shoulder.

Stroking your hair with one hand, rubbing your back with the other, he kissed your head and said, “Don’t worry, little girl. We’ll take care of you. Maybe later you’ll be willing to tell us all of those secrets you have that make your cheeks turn such a pretty shade of pink.” He cupped your face with his hands and pulled you just far enough away from him that he could look into your eyes. “Until then, why don’t you start by showing us to your bedroom, kitten?”

Nodding, you pulled your arms from around him and took one of his hands in yours. You turned him towards the bedroom, then motioned to Cas to take your other hand. Once his hand was in yours, you paused to kiss him, taking a second to relish this moment with the man you loved before giving yourself to someone else right in front of him. When you pulled away, you looked into his eyes and told him you loved him.

“I love you, too, Y/N,” he whispered, giving you a tender smile.

Their hands in yours while they trailed behind you, you led them both into your bedroom. When you were standing by the bed, you let go of their hands and turned to look at them both.

Sam gave the room a quick once-over, then pulled the chair you had in the corner over closer to the bed. Sitting down, he looked up at you and said, “Strip.”

His voice sent a shiver down your spine. It was low and firm, and spoke to your submissive side, as well as your libido. Just from the heat you heard when he spoke, you had wetness pooling between your thighs. Before you even thought about it, you had pulled off your shirt, tossing it in the corner, and your jeans were unbuttoned. He and Cas both watched as your skin was revealed. When you were down to your just your bra and panties, Sam stopped you.

“Stop. Cas, take off her bra. Slowly.”

Cas moved behind you and unclasped your bra, not struggling with it at all as he had a couple of times before. He dropped kisses on your shoulders as he slid the straps down your arms, then pulled the cups away from your breasts. When it was free from your arms, he tossed it in the corner with the rest of your clothes and then cupped your breasts with his hands, squeezing the tender flesh until your breath hitched. Your eyes had been on Sam, but when Cas’s palms covered you, they fluttered closed and your head fell back on Cas’s shoulder.

“Y/N. Eyes open. Look at me. Cas, slide your hand into her panties and tell me how wet she is for us, already.”

Cas obeyed, giving out a groan when he felt how wet you were. “Sam, she’s soaked. She’s always wet like this for me.”

Your eyes were trained on Sam, while your body writhed in Cas’s arms. Sam’s eyes roamed your form, pausing where Cas’s fingers were pushing against the fabric of your panties as he teased you, then travelling up to where his other hand was teasing your nipple, then resting on your face. “All that, and she’s eager, too? You’re a lucky man, Cas.” Sam cocked his head to the side in thought while one of his hands moved to palm the bulge in his jeans. “Y/N, show me exactly how lucky Cas is. Undress him and suck him off.”

Cas’s hands withdrew from you, and you turned around to face him. You gave him a quick kiss, making Sam clear his throat as a warning to you. Giving Cas a quick smile, you began unbuttoning his shirt, leaving a trail of kisses on the newly unveiled skin. By the time you got to the top of his pants, you were almost bent over double, giving Sam a clear view of your soaked panties. You heard a muffled groan behind you and smiled as you straightened up to pull Cas’s shirt from his pants and push it off of his shoulders. He almost tore it free of his hands and tossed it into the corner where your clothes had landed.

You let your eyes roam the planes of Cas’s chest and stomach, enjoying the miles of golden skin in front of you. Knowing that Sam would censure you again if you didn’t hurry, you worked quickly on Cas’s belt and pants, letting them drop to his feet. You grabbed the waistband of his boxers and gently tugged them down over his erection, sliding your hands from his hips down his muscled legs as you bent into a squat at his feet. Shifting onto your knees, you untied Cas’s shoes, tapping each ankle so he’d lift his foot while you removed his shoes and socks, then slid his pants off of each leg.

Once his clothing was discarded, you stood up again, and pushed Cas onto the bed. He shifted until his head was on the pillows, and you settled between his legs. Your hands glided up his legs, taking their time while you looked over at Sam.

“Fast or slow?” you asked Sam, trying not to focus on the huge bulge in his jeans.

“Fast. Make him come like a good little girl, and then we’ll make you come.” Sam’s smile was dark, but you felt a rush of heat throughout your body from it.

Turning back to Cas, you finished sliding your hands up his legs, then took his shaft firmly in one hand and his balls gently in the other. Leaning down on one elbow between Cas’s thighs, you took the head of his cock into your mouth, sucking him down so quickly he cried out and his hips bucked up into you. One hand gently rolled his balls while the other stroked the length that couldn’t fit in your mouth. Sam wanted fast, so you sucked and bobbed furiously with your cheeks hollowed. You pressed your tongue against the underside, and Cas began crying out with every thrust of his hips. Moaning at the heat that was spreading through you because of the sounds he was making, you used every trick you had ever learned to make Cas come as quickly as possible. Soon, his balls were tightening as his cock grew even bigger, and he spilled into your mouth, forcing you to swallow quickly.

As he came down, you worked him through it, cleaning him up thoroughly until he whimpered from oversensitivity. Cas’s eyes were closed as his breathing slowed. He bolted upright and grabbed your head, kissing you roughly, at first, before mellowing the kiss into something gentler and more loving. When he pulled away, you shared a look with him for a moment, hoping he felt all the love you were trying to send to him.

A rustle from the chair caught your attention, and when you looked over, Sam was down to his boxer briefs, which were damp in the front. His eyes were dark, but they weren’t what you were looking at.

Sam was built like something out of a Greek myth, all tan skin, rippling muscles, and a dusting of chest hair. The muscles in his arms tensed and relaxed as he palmed his erection, and you didn’t know what was hotter, the erection itself or the hand rubbing it.

“Cas, sit up against the headboard. Y/N, sit with your back to Cas’s chest.” You situated yourself between Cas’s legs and he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling your neck.

“You okay, honey?” Cas asked, his words buzzing against your skin.

“Yeah, angel. What about you?”

“I’m good so far,” Cas said with a kiss to your neck.

Sam climbed onto the bed near your feet, then put his hands on your ankles. The heat from his hands seemed to radiate up your legs, warming your entire body. Leaning over you, he kissed you, his tongue pushing into your mouth and sliding against yours. Then he was on your neck, licking and sucking against the sensitive skin there until you whimpered. Moving down, he kneaded one breast while catching the nipple of the other with his mouth and teasing it with his teeth. When you started squirming, he backed off and just looked at you for a long moment, his hand against his groin.

He ran his hands up your legs to your hips, then slowly tugged your panties down until they were free and tossed them to the pile of clothes in the corner. He then moved your ankles so they were outside of Cas’s legs, spreading you open. You felt the cold air of the room hit your wet center and gasped. Sam’s hands were still against your skin, though, and he slid his hands up your legs and back down again.

“You look so good, little girl, all spread out for me. Isn’t she beautiful, Cas?”

Cas murmured his agreement, and you rubbed his thighs while you leaned your head back on his shoulder. His hands moved from where they had been holding you to your breasts, and he began playing with them, kneading your flesh, and then pinching and rolling your nipples.

Sam’s hands were sliding back up your legs, and you felt his mouth and the gentle scrape of his stubble on your inner thigh. Looking down, you saw the hungry look in his eyes as he focused on the apex of your thighs. Warmth licked up your legs to your center, encouraged by the shocks of pleasure Cas was creating with his hands. Sam’s mouth nipped and licked up your thighs until he kissed the top of your mound, so close and yet so far away from where you wanted him. Before you could contain it, a whimper escaped your lips at the same time you arched your back with need.

“Don’t hold back, little girl. I want to hear all of your pretty noises.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth than he licked a wide stripe right up your center and you gasped. The lick was followed quickly by more urgent licks while he burrowed his tongue between your folds, sucking your wetness into his mouth. When his lips found your clit and wrapped around it and sucked, you cried out his name.

“Sam! Fuck, yes…” As he started to work you over with his lips and tongue in earnest, your hips tried to buck, but you found he was holding you down.

“You like it when I suck your clit into my mouth like that, little girl?”

“Fuck, yes, Sam!” you cried, trying to move your hips so he’d stop talking and suck, already. His mouth returned to your skin, and he began teasing you with his lips and tongue again. You dug your fingers into Cas’s thighs and tried to throw your head back, but you couldn’t go back very far with Cas behind you. The frustration you felt at not being able to move came out of your mouth in gasping whimpers and moans, begging Sam to keep going.

“Do you want more, little girl? Do you want my fingers inside of you, too?”

You whimpered with the loss of his mouth on you and tried to squirm, but they were holding you too tightly for that. “Yes, please, Sam…please…just….”

You didn’t get to finish your thought because a long, thick finger was pushing into you while his mouth was back to teasing your clit. He started thrusting his finger into you at a steady pace, licking and sucking at your clit with the same rhythm. Cas’s fingers were still doing their magic on your nipples, with his lips licking and sucking on whatever parts of your neck he could reach. With all the movement you were trying to manage, you could also feel Cas hardening behind you against the small of your back. The combination of all the stimulation was overwhelming and you felt yourself hurtling towards your first orgasm of the night.

“Sam, Cas, I’m gonna come, I’m so close,” you mewled, feeling yourself winding up.

“Let go, Y/N, show Sam how pretty you are when you come,” Cas whispered in your ear.

You suddenly realized how tense you had been about having an orgasm at Sam’s hands in front of Cas, but hearing Cas say it was okay helped you to relax and really let go. Sam added another finger, pumping them into you harder, dragging his fingertips against your g-spot even more that way, and you completely exploded around him.

You clamped down on his fingers as your body convulsed, bucking hard against the arms that held you tight. Your orgasm seemed to last forever, your muscles spasming while you gasped for air. Sam worked you through it, still sucking at your clit until you groaned and shook your head for him to stop. He finally pulled away, leaving his hands on your thighs, though.

“God, Cas, she’s fucking gorgeous when she comes. I can see now why you couldn’t resist her.” You barely heard Sam’s words through the post-orgasmic haze surrounding your head as you lay slumped against Cas, your eyes closed from the exertion. Vague impressions of Sam and Cas untangling your legs filtered into your brain. As you slowly came around again, Sam was kissing you, the taste of you still on his mouth. Cas pulled his arms away from you so you could move, and you reached up and tangled your fingers in Sam’s hair. Sam started moving away from you, but with one of his hands on your back, he urged you up onto your knees. He broke your kiss to gasp for air, then bit and nibbled down your jawline to your neck.

“I wanna feel that talented mouth of yours, little girl. Go slow, though. You looked so good with your lips around Cas’s cock, I want to know if you look as good sucking mine.” The mix of his breath on your ear and his words sent a shiver down your spine. His hands dropped from your body, and when you opened your eyes, his gaze was almost feral while his hand lazily stroked his cock. You pulled your hands from his hair, enjoying the sound that came from the back of his throat when you gave a little tug. Sam sat back on his heels, watching as you scooted back towards Cas a little to give yourself space.

Sitting back on your own heels, you bent forward, leaning on Sam’s strong thighs for leverage, enjoying the feel of the soft hair under your palms. Your hands slid up his legs until your elbows were leaning on his thighs and your fingers were pressed into the deep v-lines on his hips. Leaning forward, your ass came off of your heels a bit, and you gave Sam’s cock little kitten licks. Carefully, you licked off all of the pre-cum that had collected at the tip, and when it was clean, you slid your lips over the head, sucking him into your mouth.

Sam’s hands landed in your hair, and before long, you were responding to every press of his fingers on your head. He was essentially telling you without words when he wanted you to take him deeper, pull up and slow down, or keep on as you were. You were so focused on the messages he was giving you with his hands, you didn’t register when he said something to Cas.

You did register, however, when Cas’s hands took hold of the globes of your ass and squeezed your flesh. He massaged and squeezed for a couple of minutes before you felt his mouth at your center. When he found your clit with his tongue, you moaned around Sam’s cock, making him tug on your hair to slow down. You struggled to keep paying attention to Sam’s signals, but it was increasingly difficult as Cas licked and sucked everywhere between your legs. It felt like Cas was mapping out your most sensitive places to see what made your hips push back against him and what made you moan or hum. When he added his fingers, you almost gagged on Sam’s cock, and had to take your mouth away.

“God, Cas, that feels so good, angel,” you said in a breathy moan, your head resting against Sam’s hip.

“Is Cas gonna make you come little girl? You gonna come on his tongue like you came on mine?”

Cas found your sweet spot with his fingers just then and you cried out, “Yes,  _ Sir _ !” with the last word being much louder than the first as Cas sucked harder on your clit. “I mean, yes, he’s going to make me come soon, Sir.”

Sam moved one hand from your hair and cupped your chin, tugging on it until you looked up at him. “Keep sucking like a good little girl, and I won’t tell Cas to stop.”

With a nod, you turned your head back to the job in front of you, and Sam’s hand went back into your hair. It was difficult to constantly tease without making him come, and your concentration on the matter at hand temporarily drew your attention from Cas’s ministrations. Soon, though, you were back into a rhythm, and shocks of pleasure were shooting through you as Cas sucked on your clit and pumped his fingers into you. When the first tendrils of your orgasm started winding through your body, you let go of Sam’s cock just so you could breathe, and then it crashed into you. Your fingers dug into Sam’s hips while your head rested next to his throbbing cock as you cried out Cas’s name.

As your aftershocks faded, Sam’s hands pulled you up and against him, holding your limp body like you were weightless. “So good for us, little girl. You follow directions so well.” He stroked your hair and littered kisses all over your face until you got strength back in your muscles and could respond. “You’ve been so good, so this next part is up to you. How do you want to take us?”

Looking up into his face, you considered all of your options for a moment before you decided. “I want you both. I want Cas in front and you in back. Do you know how to prep me?”

Sam’s smile was so wide his dimples almost had dimples. “Yeah, little girl. I can do that.” He gave you a kiss that was so gentle and thorough you felt warmth bubbling up in your chest. He was obviously pleased with your decision, and you smiled under the praise. He set you back down on the bed, and you turned to face Cas and kiss him. You looked up at Cas to quietly check in with him, worried about his reaction to you sucking Sam’s cock, but he was beaming. Satisfied that he was okay, you leaned past him to reach into the drawer of your nightstand.

After some digging, you passed the lube to Sam, who was smirking like the cat that ate the canary. Heat spread through your cheeks, though you weren’t sure why.

“What all do you keep in that drawer, baby girl? Maybe some of those things you were too embarrassed to talk about before?” There was a gleam to Sam’s eye, and your cheeks burned even hotter. Looking for an escape, you turned to Cas, who was looking at you with curiosity in his eyes. His head was tilted slightly to the side, his eyes narrowed, and a flirty half smile on his face.

Turning back to Sam while your cheeks flamed, you finally managed to choke out a response. “Maybe,” you said, your throat suddenly very dry.

Sam chuckled. “Well, we do have all night to find out, don’t we, kitten?”

You whimpered with the thought of all of your toys with Sam in control and licked your dry lips. Swallowing hard, you turned back to Cas, who was now laying back on the pillows. Moving so you were straddling his thighs, you kissed up his chest until you could kiss his mouth. Cas’s hands rubbed your arms, then grasped at your back as you dominated his mouth with your tongue. Your hips ground into Cas’s, until his cock was slotted between your folds, sliding back and forth, hitting your clit with each thrust. The need that had abated with your two orgasms came surging back. Needing air, you pulled your mouth from Cas’s with a moan and then propped yourself up with your hands on his chest.

“Need you inside of me, angel, then Sam can do his thing. You’re gonna have to be patient with us, though. Think you can do that?” Your hips were still grinding into his, his cock still hitting your clit and taking your breath away.

Cas nodded, his blue eyes wide, but his mouth pressed into a thin line. As you lined him up and slowly sank down on him, his mouth opened and his breathing became ragged. Once he was fully seated inside you, you both groaned, his hands gripping your hips so tightly it almost hurt. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing for a minute, trying to resist the urge to ride Cas fast and hard. Finally feeling so full was a relief, but at the same time, you needed to move. You needed more.

Cas must have felt the same, because you felt him twitch inside of you as you leaned down to kiss him. When you came up for air, you looked back at Sam, whose eyes were trained on your form as he held his cock in his fist. You realized he was the only person in the room who hadn’t come, yet, and you suddenly wondered if he’d make it. While you watched, he took a deep breath, and you saw his control slip back into place.

Sam’s eyes met yours. “Ready?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Whenever you are.”

Sam reached for the bottle of lube and you turned back to look down at Cas. “You doing okay, angel?”

Cas looked up at you with all the love and adoration you could ever want shining in his eyes. “I’m great, honey,” he said, leaning forward to kiss you.

As Cas’s tongue danced with yours, you felt Sam’s hand on your back. While one hand rubbed your lower back, the other teased your hole, slippery from the lubricant. When Sam breached your rim with one finger, you pulled your head away from Cas’s with a gasp. As Sam began thrusting into you, stretching you, you began mewling and whimpering, trying to stay still while waves of pleasure washed up and down your back.

Cas tried to distract you with kisses, or maybe just distract himself, you weren’t sure. “You’re doing so good, honey. God, you’re so beautiful right now.” He started moving his hips with yours, just a little and very slowly. The combination of Sam’s fingers behind and Cas’s cock in front was making you downright needy, and you began whining in frustration.

You dropped your head onto Cas’s shoulder with a groan. “C’mon, Sam. I know it’s been a while, but  _ please _ ….”

“I don’t want to hurt you, little girl. You’re so tight, you’re killing me, here.” Sam swallowed a groan, but you still heard it. “You’re just going to have to keep being a good girl for me.”

In spite of his words, Sam added another finger and you felt the stretch. You tried to swallow your hiss, but Sam heard it.

“Looks like slower is better after all, right, kitten?”

You whimpered and tried to push back onto his fingers, making Cas groan as you ground against him. Your whimper was cut short with a yelp when you felt a hard smack to your ass. You looked back at Sam with a glare, but he just smirked.

“Don’t sass me, little girl, or you get spanked.” His eyes fell back on your ass and he licked his lips. “Or maybe I should encourage you to be naughty. Your ass is so pretty with my handprint on it like that.” Any response you could have had was lost when he began massaging where he’d smacked you, soothing any sting that was left. You relaxed into the touch, and Sam rewarded you with another finger.

With Cas moving slowly and languidly underneath you, and Sam working you from behind, you were quickly losing your mind. Sam was giving you a constant stream of praise for how good you were doing, while Cas was getting equally strung out beneath you. The stimulation from Cas’s hands and cock combined with Sam’s fingers and words was almost overwhelming. By the time Sam removed his fingers, you were no longer able to form actual words, just an array of whimpers and moans. Cas tried to soothe you, stroking your hair and wiping the sweat from your brow.

“You’re doing so good, honey. You feel so good. We’re almost there.” Cas littered kisses wherever he could reach, and you looked back to see Sam slicking up his cock. A moment later, you felt him slowly pushing into you, making you feel the familiar fullness you hadn’t felt in years. As Sam slid home with a broken moan, Cas groaned underneath you.

“Oh, God, I didn’t think – I didn’t expect…Oh, god…” Cas started babbling, and you realized, with the small part of your brain that wasn’t completely blown with pleasure, that he didn’t expect to feel anything different during this. He thought this would be all about you, and a bit about Sam, but nothing new for him, and he had been wrong.

“Holy shit, Y/N, you feel so fucking good right now.” Sam’s voice was strained as he held himself over you and Cas, his breath ghosting over your shoulder and his cock pulsing hot inside of you.

“Cas, Sam, somebody has to fucking  _ move _ ,” you whined, “please, you both have me so full I can’t just… I need….” Your begging was interrupted by Sam rolling his hips and settling home again inside of you. He did it again, this time with a little more force, and all three of you cried out. After a few more tentative thrusts like that, he started actually pulling out and thrusting into you properly. Soon, Cas started moving, too, and you were lost between them. You lost track of who was moving in and who was moving out and just rode the wave of sensations.

You had held off your orgasm as best you could, wanting this to last longer, but when Cas slid his hand between you and just pressed against your clit, you let go. Stars burst in your field of vision as you cried out, and then you felt Sam’s rhythm fail as he came inside you. Cas soon followed, and the three of you worked each other through it.

When you stopped moving, all three of you panting, you collapsed onto Cas’s chest. You felt Sam shift behind you, and then he pulled out, and you felt him clean you a bit with something. You shifted your hips to move off of Cas, whimpering when his softening cock fell out of you, and Sam cleaned you again. You fell off of Cas into the middle of the bed, watched Sam toss whatever he had used to clean you into the hamper, and then Sam fell onto the bed on your other side.

Cas turned to you and kissed you, cradling your face as he looked at you tenderly between kisses. On the other side of you, Sam put an arm around your waist and kissed your shoulder as he settled his head on the pillow. Cas shifted and snuggled into your side, laying his head on your chest and putting his arm around your waist, too. With one arm around Cas, you stroked his hair, and with your other hand, you rubbed circles into Sam’s arm. Encompassed in warmth, you dozed off into an exhausted sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, Sam could have been more dominant, but this is a first-time encounter, and he's here primarily as moral support and guidance for his best friend, not to get his own rocks off. If you've read the timestamps, then you know where Sam and Cas are coming from when they get into this scene. Should the three of them decide to continue this, then things could get kinkier.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little post-coital awkwardness.

You woke up about an hour later, still wrapped up in both men, feeling the familiar warmth of being the center in a triad. As your mind cleared, the differences crashed into your bubble. To your left was the man you loved, who was just learning about his sexuality. To your right was your professor, who knew all too much about you, now. In a few days, you’d be in his classroom again, listening to him lecture about gods and monsters, trying to forget how you’d sucked his cock.

Suddenly, you felt distinctly sweaty, sticky, and gross, so you worked yourself out from between the two men, a talent borne from much practice, and headed into the bathroom to shower. While the hot water washed away the soreness from your muscles and the stink from your skin, you wondered how you and Sam would act around each other. You’d never had a casual sexual encounter with anyone, much less someone you’d then have to deal with in regular life. How did people do that? How did people manage to be civil again, without either cutting each other off completely or being way too familiar?

Once your class was over, Sam would still be Cas’s best friend. If you and Cas had a future, and you suddenly really hoped you did, Sam would always be there. Hell, maybe Cas would want to do this with Sam again. He’d certainly seemed to enjoy it. Moments of the past few hours flickered through your mind like a movie trailer. Yeah, Cas had enjoyed it. This could happen again.

If this did happen again, though, not before the end of the semester. It was going to be hard enough for you to act normally around Sam as it was.

The water suddenly turned cold for a moment, signifying one of your neighbors had done something that required hot water, and you realized you’d been standing under the spray doing nothing for so long your fingers were wrinkled. Quickly finishing up your shower, you pushed the thoughts from your mind.

Once out of the shower, you put on some comfortable, clean sweats and a t-shirt, and let your rumbling stomach lead you into the kitchen. Since you and Cas couldn’t go out to eat, and ordering in got tedious, you had started stocking actual food in your fridge, freezer, and pantry. Pulling out a pound of beef from the freezer, you stuck it in a pot of hot water on the counter to thaw, and grabbed a jar of spaghetti sauce and a box of pasta out of the cabinet. Looking over your messy kitchen, you decided to do dishes and clean while the beef thawed. You were elbow-deep in suds, your brain still processing your afternoon, when a pair of hands on your upper arms startled you.

You jumped, but the hands stayed firm on your arms, keeping you from having an accident with the plate in your hand. As you turned your head, Sam leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“You’re domestic, too? Cas is even luckier than I thought.”

Wondering what Cas would think of the familiarity in Sam’s actions, you stiffened, and went back to your dishes, shrugging him off. “I wouldn’t call basic cleaning being domestic, and anyone can brown meat and add a jar of sauce to it. I promise you. Nothing I’m doing here is anything special.” Turning your head to look at him, you noticed his bed head and that he was still naked. “If you want to shower, go right ahead. Use whatever you find in there. Towels are in the closet.”

Sam rubbed your arms, then nodded and headed towards the bathroom. You exhaled slowly, wondering when you had taken the breath you’d been holding. As the bathroom door clicked shut, you looked up at the ceiling for answers. How would Cas feel about you and Sam touching each other? Would every touch be examined? You turned back to your dishes with a shake of your head.

While you were cleaning and cooking, you heard Cas get up and head into the bathroom while Sam was in the shower. You chuckled, thinking that evidently having lived together in college, if not sharing a woman an hour ago, had erased any modesty issues they had about sharing a bathroom. You heard their muffled voices as they talked and wondered what they were saying. You considered eavesdropping, but then shook your head at your immaturity. A couple of minutes later, Cas was behind you, nuzzling your neck, his hands on your hips as he ground his hips into your ass.

“Why are you so sexy, even when you’re wearing sweats and a t-shirt and cleaning?” Sure enough, as Cas continued to grind against you, you felt him hardening in his boxers. Your breath hitched as one of his hands moved up to your breast and squeezed it through your shirt.

“I can’t say I know what you’re talking about, but if you keep that up, dinner’s going to burn and Sam’s going to catch you fucking me to the beat of the smoke alarm.” Your voice was unsteady and rough as you felt heat pool between your thighs.

Cas pulled his hand from your breast, putting it back on your hip, and he stopped grinding against you, though he held you in place for a minute as he caught his breath. When he finally spoke, his voice was deeper than you’d ever heard it and it sent a shiver down your spine as his breath blew past your ear. “Okay. Dinner, then I’ll bend you over the nearest available surface and fuck you until this whole apartment complex knows my name.”

A shudder went through you and you took a deep breath to calm yourself. “Considering our situation, that might not be such a great idea. Not too many Castiels in the phone book,” you joked.

Cas chuckled and let you go, standing next to you. You tried not to look at the tent in his boxers. You didn’t try hard enough, though, so you pressed your legs together with a groan and finished washing your last dish.

Once Sam was out of the shower, Cas went in while Sam got dressed. You kept Sam at a distance while you cooked, inviting him to sit at the table, then asking him about growing up with Cas and getting him to tell you stories from their childhood. When Cas came out, the two of them talked together about old times, interrupting each other constantly and each insisting that the other one told the story better. Dinner was surprisingly comfortable, both men helped you clear the table and do the dishes, the conversation still flowing.

After the cleanup was done, you were trying not to be awkward when Sam made his excuses to leave. “Well, I guess I should get back home and make sure Dean hasn’t destroyed the place. He threatened to have a poker game tonight, since I wouldn’t be around to take his friends’ money. Apparently, only he’s allowed to do that.”

You and Cas chuckled while Sam grabbed his jacket off the couch and put it on. Cas stood behind you and wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. “Thanks, Sam,” he said, “for everything.”

You blushed what you were sure was a deep scarlet, and dropped your head to hide your embarrassment. “Yeah, Sam, thanks,” you squeaked, wondering where you’d gotten the courage to say that much.

When you finally dared to look up, Sam was going out the door with a half-smile and a wave to you both. You didn’t have time to consider it, though, because as soon as the door latched, Cas’s hips were grinding into your ass again, his erection slotting between your ass cheeks as his hand slid under your shirt and kneaded your bare breast, pinching the nipple.

“That was nice, but I’m glad to have you all to myself again. And since I told Father Singer I was staying with Sam, we’ve got all night,” Cas growled into your ear as he walked you into the bedroom.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before.

Cas woke you up the next morning with passionate kisses and two fingers buried deep inside you, thrusting hard, hitting your sweet spot over and over. He sucked on your skin until your body was littered with bruises and you were aching for him again. When you were begging him for something, anything, he used his newfound oral skills to make you come over and over. Sometime in the night he had figured out the combination of fingers, lips, and tongue that had earned you the nickname Bunny. He had no problem using it until you begged him to let you come down.

When he finally pushed into you, you wondered if you even had the energy to come again. Your body was tired. Cas did it, though. He went at you hard, he switched to soft, he tried slow, and he hit you fast, and soon you were winding up yet again, crying out with a voice hoarse from overuse as your orgasm swept through you. You actually feared for a moment that he wouldn’t come with you, and would try for one more, but then he spilled into you, groaning your name as he came.

When you both had caught your breath, you lay there in his arms, dazed. “For a man who once vowed celibacy because he didn’t think sex was all that interesting, you’re a fucking maniac sex god or something, Cas.” You chuckled as you kissed the skin on his shoulder, then rested your head on his bicep.

You felt, rather than saw, Cas’s wide grin. “I have a lot of time to make up for. Besides, have to keep my woman happy.”

Pulling your head back to look at him, you saw his brow furrow for a split second before he smiled down at you. “You don’t have to set a world record for number of orgasms in a day to keep me happy, you know. I’m already happy, Cas. As long as I’m with you.”

Cas smiled and gently pressed his lips to yours. “I just can’t wait until the time comes when I can do normal couple stuff with you. I want to go on dates, introduce you to my family, and take you out to dinner. Until then, I feel like this is all I have.” Cas’s cheeks flushed and he tried to hide his eyes from you.

You freed one of your hands and caressed his cheek. “Hey, that’s not true. We talk, we cook dinner together, we do dishes together, we watch TV together. We do a lot of things that I love to do with you that aren’t sex. I mean, I can’t wait to go out with you, too, but I don’t need it. As for my family, well, you already know my aunt.” You rolled your eyes dramatically. “I’m actually not looking forward to that conversation. But it will be worth it to be with you.” You met his gaze again and kissed him softly.

Your stomach rumbling broke up the tender moment, and you both laughed. Untangling yourselves from each other, you both got out of bed. As you went to stand, you wobbled, and Cas rushed to your side with worry etched into his expression.

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Are you all right?”

“I’m just a bit sore. And tired. And grimy. And thirsty.” You smacked your dry lips together and grimaced.

“Well, then, I’ll go get you a glass of water, then you clean up while I make breakfast.”

Listening to your stomach grumble, you decided on a quick wipe down with a wash cloth rather than a full shower, and almost ran to eat breakfast. After Cas showered and left, you changed the sheets on the bed and then collapsed on the couch to watch some mindless TV. Between how truly mindless the TV was and how exhausted you were, it was inevitable that you fell asleep. When you woke up a couple of hours later, you were so stiff and sore from your extended physical activity that you could barely get off the couch. Deciding that perhaps a hot bath would be even better than a shower, you filled the tub with scalding water and used your favorite body wash as bubble bath.

As the bath filled, you undressed in front of the mirror, looking at all the new marks Cas had left with a roll of your eyes. As you put your hair up, though, you noticed a new mark on your neck. You and Cas had rules about where marks could go, and your neck wasn’t one of them. It was bad enough your aunt had seen one on your chest when you’d spilled gravy on your scarf the other day. Hiding marks that high up was work. As you stepped into the bath, you reviewed the highlights of the past couple of days, trying to remember when Cas had left it. As you sunk into the water, feeling the heat burn the scrapes and scratches in your skin but begin to soothe and relax your muscles, your mind flicked through images of Cas, and then Sam, like an erotic picture book.

When it hit you, you almost sat straight up with a gasp. It wasn’t Cas, it was Sam.

Settling back into the comfort of the water, you fingered the light mark while you considered how it had gotten there. Did you mind Sam marking you? Honestly, it was flattering. If Sam had intentionally left the mark, then he had wanted you enough to want to leave it. If he hadn’t, then he had wanted you enough to not control himself. Considering the man it came from, considering he could have any girl he wanted, it warmed you up from the inside out knowing that he’d wanted you. Even if it was only for one afternoon.

Images of that one afternoon flickered through your mind. Sam’s hungry expression as he leaned over you to kiss you. The grunts and groans he made as he sucked on your clit. The feeling of him filling you from behind. The way he wrapped an arm around you as you fell asleep.

You felt a little sad about it having only been one afternoon, and chastised yourself. You loved Cas, and he was all you needed. Besides, seeing Sam in class was going to be uncomfortable enough. Hopefully, once you were no longer student and teacher, you could be friends.

Thinking about that made you try to imagine what your future with Cas would look like. You hadn’t really talked about his plans for after January 5 th , like where he’d live or what he’d do for a job. You both had been so focused on the present, staying under the radar, and learning about each other in bed, you just hadn’t had time to think about it.

When Cas came back over that night for dinner, you asked him about it while you ate.

“Although I know I could crash with either Gabe or the Winchesters, I haven’t actually asked either of them if it would be okay with them. As far as a job, I think I’m going to end up doing something minimum wage for a while until I can get my teaching credentials lined up so I can at least be a substitute teacher. Then, I can start applying at schools and looking at getting my own place.”

Cas’s eyes rested on you for a long moment, and then he went back to his dinner. Thinking about what he’d said, you wondered if what you were about to suggest was too ridiculous.

“What if you stayed here? I mean, you wouldn’t have to sleep on a couch if you stayed here.” You kept your eyes on your dinner, not wanting to see Cas’s reaction. “I know it’s way too early for us to live together, but it can be kind of a test period until you get your own place later. And I’d love to be able to go with you when you work at the shelter and do stuff like that.” You peeked up at Cas, then lifted your head as you saw his grin.

“I would love to stay here with you,” Cas said quietly, ducking his head. “I know this is moving so fast, which is why I didn’t want to ask you. I didn’t want to push us into something before we were ready, and if that meant couch-surfing for a few months, I was happy to do it.”

You grinned at Cas. “That means a lot, Cas. After waking up with you this morning, though, I really can’t wait until I get to do it again.” Your cheeks flushed and you ducked your head to concentrate on your plate, again.

Cas reached out and lifted your chin with one finger so you could see the wide smile on his face. “I loved waking up with you, too.” Pulling you closer to him, he kissed you softly then just stared at your face with a smile. “How did I get so lucky?”

“Hard work and clean living, I guess,” you joked with a smile.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily has a big mouth.

Monday came, and with it, your return to classes and your lunches with your friends. Kelsey, Emily, and Allie all talked about spending the break with the families and seeing old high school friends, and you remembered when you used to have similar stories. Allie noticed your quiet, though, and was determined to draw you out.

“I can’t believe you did nothing but study and work while we were all gone, so don’t try to play it that way. Besides, I can see you and Cas had some fun. We either need to get you better concealer and a closet full of turtlenecks or you need to put a leash on that man. Or does he put the leash on you?”

Flushing so red you thought they could feel the heat in outer space, you covered your face with your hand. “Allie! God! Yes, Cas and I got to spend a lot of time together. He even got to stay overnight Friday night. Sheesh!”

Emily looked at you with a smirk and a knowing nod. “Yeah, Gabe told me you guys had a big weekend planned.”

Fear and embarrassment shot through your body as you turned to look at Emily with wide eyes. “Gabe told you what??”

“Why are you keeping it a secret? C’mon, we’d tell you if it was us.” Emily looked at the other two girls, who were hanging on her every word. “Gabe told me that Cas asked a friend of theirs to be in a threesome!”

At least Emily had been nice enough to lower her voice a little. Annoyance surged through you and you glared at your friend.

“Oh, my God, she’s not lying! Look at Y/N’s face!” Kelsey screeched happily, while suddenly waving her hands in the air, then running her hands through her hair until she was doing a passable Albert Einstein impression.

“You bitch. Not only do you have a hot priest, you have a kinky hot priest with kinky fucking friends. I’m buying batteries in bulk because I can’t get one man, you got to fuck two.” Allie crossed her arms in front of her and gave you a bitch face.

“Guys, seriously,  _ shut up _ ,” you whispered as sternly as you could. “Do you all realize how fucking loud you get???”

Emily scoffed at you and waved a hand. “Ain’t nobody listening, Y/N. Besides, I haven’t mentioned the good part.” She looked at the other girls, making sure they were listening intently, then leaned forward so only the three of you could hear. “He’s a professor here.”

Your embarrassment turned to absolute horror. Sam’s one rule had been that your friends didn’t know. His job would be in jeopardy if the school found out!

Turning to your friend, you growled, “Emily,  _ shut the fuck up right this minute _ .”

She turned to you and shrugged. “They’re not gonna tell, so what are you worried about?”

You smacked your friend in the arm and leaned closer to her. “His one condition, literally the one fucking thing he specifically requested, was that you guys didn’t know.  _ He could be FIRED for this!” _

Emily had the decency to look chastened. “Hey, I’m sorry. Gabe told me, so I figured it wasn’t a secret.”

You rubbed your hand over your forehead, trying to will away the headache that was forming. “Did he tell you which professor, or did he have some fucking sense of decorum.”

The wicked gleam that passed over Emily’s face told you that she knew.

“God fucking damn it, I’m going to kill Gabe myself and save everyone from this mess by just going to jail for the rest of my life,” you groaned.

Allie and Kelsey both started alternately smacking and tugging on Emily’s arms, begging her to tell them who it was. Emily, sensing that she’d said enough, shook her head and covered her mouth with her hand.

When they realized neither of you would talk, Allie and Kelsey started brainstorming.

“Well, it can’t be anyone too old, or he wouldn’t be a friend of Cas’s, and Cas is about Y/N’s age, maybe a year or two older. That means, he can’t be more than 35, and to be a professor, he’d have to be at least 25.” Allie pulled out her phone and was obviously looking up the faculty roster of the school.

“And knowing Cas, it can’t be a woman, because I doubt he’s close enough to any women besides his sister to ask them to do it. Also, he’s knows Y/N’s history is only with men, so I think he’d pick a man,” Kelsey said with a thoughtful nod to her head and a wicked gleam in her eye.

“That knocks it down to five professors,” Allie said. “Y/N said he could be fired, so it’s got to be one of her current professors, which narrows it down to one.” Allie’s triumphant tone was unmistakable as she turned her phone toward Kelsey for her to see.

Kelsey squealed and flapped her hands around her head like she was being attacked by a swarm of killer bees while Allie looked at you and smiled smugly. She turned the phone towards you, and when you saw Sam’s picture, you dropped your head into your hands, covering your face.

Allie and Kelsey continued to squeal and make incomprehensible noises while you held your head and prayed for the strength to let them live.  You stayed that way even after they calmed down and got deathly quiet.

“Y/N, come on, boo, don’t be like this. We’re sorry,” Kelsey said, tugging on your sleeve.

“Yeah, Y/N, we won’t tell anyone, we swear. We’re just jealous bitches, that’s all,” Allie said, putting a hand on your arm.

“So fucking jealous…” Emily mused with a sigh.

You finally picked your head up out of your hands and looked at your friends, afraid of what they might be thinking.

“Now that we know, and you know we won’t tell, we need  _ details _ . You have to tell us what he’s hiding under all those layers. I mean, is he soft in the middle? Is that why he’s always wearing like, three shirts and sweater?” Allie waved a fry in her hand while she spoke, popping it into her mouth after arching an eyebrow.

“I don’t care what his stomach looks like, I want to know if he’s, you know,  _ proportional _ .” Emily waggled her eyebrows and you silently cursed Gabe’s obvious influence with a roll of your eyes.

“Guys, come on. It’s bad enough we know after she promised we wouldn’t. Getting her to tell us details would be truly breaking her promise to him. Besides, some of us still have to take his class in the future. Personally, I don’t want to be so distracted thinking about his dick that I fail his class.” For being the youngest in your group, Kelsey constantly surprised you by being the most mature.

“Aww, c’mon,” Allie groaned. “All right…just tell us if he’s a good kisser.”

You looked at Allie with your best angry mama face, shook your head, and firmly said, “No.”

“No, he’s not a good kisser, or no, you won’t tell us?”

Glaring at Allie with wide eyes, you grunted a noise of disgust.

Emily waved her hand between you and Allie, trying to distract you from your staring contest. “All right, how about we change the subject. In other news, I think Gabe’s gonna leave me, soon, so we need to plan a weekend of junk food, ice cream, alcohol, and horror movies. I’m gonna need my bitches when shit goes down.”

Turning away from Allie, you gaped at Emily. “Why would Gabe leave you? I thought things were going really well with you two!”

“Well, they were, until Saturday night. Things started getting a little hot and heavy, and I was all on board with that, until suddenly I wasn’t and I completely freaked out. Like, pushed him away, jumped off the couch, and locked myself in the bathroom freaked out.” Emily ducked her head and heaved a huge sigh. “I always thought I’d be so very prepared when the time came to jump on a dick. Turns out, when the dick was right there, all I could hear was my mother and my priest from when I was little. They always said that sex was only for married people, and even then, only for procreation. Anyone who had sex before marriage was a whore and a slut and no daughter of hers would be a whore or a slut.” She sighed and rested her chin on her hand, dragging a cold fry through the congealed ketchup on her plate with her other hand.

“You know that’s bullshit, right?” Allie said, punching the air with another fry.

Emily nodded, but still didn’t raise her eyes. “I know. Hell, I’ve been fighting everything they tried to drill into me since I was old enough to think for myself, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it. Then Gabe comes along, and he’s fucking perfect and sweet and sexy and funny, and instead of sucking his dick and riding him like the stud he is, I’m crying in the bathroom and yelling at him to leave.” She pulled the fry from the lake of ketchup, popping it into her mouth, then grimacing at the taste.

“Have you heard from him at all since then?” Kelsey asked, gathering up the trash and cold food sitting on the table.

Emily shrugged. “He sent me a bunch of texts asking what was wrong, and tried to call, but I didn’t answer.”

You put a hand on Emily’s arm. “Sweetie, you’ve got to tell him what’s going on or he’s going to think he did something wrong and hurt you. You can’t give him the silent treatment.”

Allie nodded. “Gabe seemed like an awesome guy, Em. If he really likes you, he’d be willing to wait until you’re ready.”

Emily ran a hand through her short hair, making it stand up comically. “Even until marriage? Cuz I’m thinking I won’t get those voices to shut up any other way.” All four of you sagged, wondering if the voracious man could control his urges until marriage, assuming he was even interested in marriage.

“You won’t know until you talk to him. And if he won’t wait, then maybe he’s not the guy for you.” Kelsey gave Emily a sad smile and got up to throw away the trash.

“If you’re too afraid to talk to him in person, call him. Or text him. But you have to explain that it’s not him.” You sighed as you watched her accept what you were saying with a nod. “Hey, if you need help with it, or even just moral support, we’re here for you.”

The rest of you stood up and gathered your things to go to class. Each of you gave Emily a quick hug before you filed out of the student union quietly.

As you sat down in your next class, you pulled out your phone and sent a text to Cas.

You:  _ Big problem. Gabe told Emily, who told Allie and Kelsey just enough that they figured out the rest. You need to tell Sam the secret’s out. The girls promised they wouldn’t tell, and I gave them no details, but he needs to know they know. _

Cas:  _ [string of angry and upset emoticons] All right. I’ll tell him. [another string of upset emoticons] _

You:  _ If he wants to kill Gabe, tell him I’ll help. _


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam reassures you.

That night, Cas told you how upset Sam had been, and you spent the night worrying about it. You got to his class early the next day, and rushed up to his desk before anyone else could come in and overhear.

“Sam, I’m so sorry. I swear, I didn’t say anything!”

Sam looked up at you and you watched a million expressions flicker over his face before it settled on the most epic bitch face you’d ever seen. With lead in your heart, you backed off and sighed, dropping your eyes to the floor. Sam’s hand touched yours, making you look up at him. His expression had softened.

“Hey. Not here. Let’s meet at the coffee shop after class.”

You nodded and headed to your seat, wondering exactly how upset Sam really was.

After class, you dragged your feet as you went to your car, then obeyed every traffic law until you got to the coffee shop. You sat in your car for a few minutes, dreading the conversation to come. When you finally pushed yourself to face the music, you walked into the shop and saw Sam sitting at a table in the back.

You immediately started apologizing as you sat down. “I’m so sorry, Sam, I swear, I didn’t say a word to anyone. I tried to get Emily to stop talking, but by the time she did, Allie and Kelsey already knew enough to figure out who you were.” You put your hands out on the table in front of you, basically begging him to forgive you, to not be mad, to not blame you.

Sam’s hands swallowed yours as you ducked your head and refused to meet his gaze. One of his hands came up to your face, and he lifted your chin until you were looking at him.

“It’s okay, little girl. I know you didn’t do anything. It’s not your fault.  _ Relax _ .” His voice took on a slightly commanding tone, and you felt yourself relax in spite of yourself. “I can’t say I don’t want to skin Gabe alive right now, though.” He huffed and took a drink of his coffee with his free hand, keeping his other hand over yours.

You heaved a sigh of relief and chuckled, your fingers tangling with Sam’s. “Oh, thank God. As for Gabe, I’d love to help with that, but Cas still has this thing about murder being a mortal sin and all.”

Sam laughed, and you felt the last of your tension drain from your body. His hand felt warm in yours, and you got lost in his smile for a second.

“Y/N!! Fancy seeing you here!!” The voice calling your name was shrill and you jumped in your seat as all of your earlier tension returned with the sound.

“Jess! So nice to see you, too!” you said, hoping you didn’t sound as truly fake and forced as you felt. Breaking your hands away from Sam’s, you thought quickly about how to introduce Sam. “Jess, this is Sam Winchester, a friend of Father Novak’s. Sam, this is Jess, one of Cas’s parishioners.”

Realization flooded Sam’s face and he stood up to greet Jess. “Nice to meet you, Jess. I haven’t heard much about Cas’s parishioners, so it’s always nice to meet some.”

Jess’s blue eyes got huge as Sam towered over her petite form and gave her one of his most disarming smiles. You stifled a giggle as her face turned beet red and she ran a hand through her long, red hair nervously.

“Well, yes, we’re very lucky to have Castiel with us. He’s done great things for our church.” Jess gave you a scathing glance which suddenly made you feel like the Whore of Babylon for stealing Cas from his church. “It’s too bad he’s fallen prey to temptation and decided to leave.”

Sam’s eyes darted between you and Jess, his brow furrowed, and you heaved another sigh. “Jess is the only person in Cas’s congregation that knows that he’s leaving in January.” Sam’s brow smoothed for a moment, but he kept watching the two of you. “And why.”

Sam nodded and turned his attention back to Jess. "As a lifelong friend of Cas', I couldn't be more supportive of his decision to follow his heart.” Sam sat down, enabling him to look the shorter women in the eye. “I'm happy to see his parishioners so passionate about his resignation but I'm sure when the time comes, you'll all understand and support his wish to follow the cause of his happiness." Sam smiled up at the redhead, his hand reclaiming yours and his dismissive and borderline defensive tone prompting a slack jawed expression to paint Jess' face.

She quickly re-gathered her grace, nodding between you before letting her eyes sear into the spot where Sam's hand was joined with yours.

"It was nice meeting you, Jess." Sam remarked, almost tauntingly.

"Likewise." Jess nodded, not even sparing a glance in your direction before darting out of the coffee shop.

You stared at Sam with your jaw slack and eyes wide. “I’ve never seen anyone shut her down like that! How…? Do you give lessons, because I’d love to learn how to do that!”

Sam chuckled. “No secret. It’s easy when you know you’re on the right side. No matter what she thinks of what you and Cas are doing, she has no right to bully you and make you feel like less of a person.” You ducked your head and Sam lifted your chin up again so he could look into your eyes. “You’re not, you know. I know this isn’t the first time you’ve been called names, but you need to know that they’re not true.”

You tried to hide your blush by looking down again, but you figured Sam could still see it. He squeezed your hand, then let it go.

“Well, I should get going. It’s my night to make dinner and Dean gets cranky enough when I make anything that isn’t burgers. I don’t want to listen to him complain about me being late, too.” He stood up, almost getting tangled up in his chair, but catching himself before he fell. “I’ll see you in class, right?”

You looked up at your professor and tried to give him a smile. “Yeah. Thursday.” Your smile was little more genuine after that, but he was already gone.

Because it was a Tuesday, Cas didn’t have much time to stick around that night, since he was late getting there after his shift at the shelter. He took the time to kiss you thoroughly, plunging his tongue into your mouth as if he wanted to map out every surface. When he finally came up for air, he held you close, burying his face in your hair.

“You don’t want to do another threesome, do you?” he asked, still pressing you tightly to his chest.

“No, Cas! I only did that because you wanted to.” Pulling your head from his neck, you looked him squarely in the eye. “You’re all I need, Cas. I love you.”

Cas smiled and rained kisses on your face and neck until you squealed. “I love you, too, Y/N. So much.”

“What brought this up, Cas?”

He shook his head and huffed. “It’s nothing. I just suddenly realized that I don’t want to share you with anyone else ever again, and wanted to make sure we were on the same page about that.”

You pulled on his sleeve until he sat down on the couch with you, and you snuggled into his side. “No worries. I only want you, Cas.”

The two of you chatted for a while after that, each of you talking about your day. You told him about your meeting with Sam, running into Jess, and apologized for gloating about how Sam had shut her down. Cas chuckled and promised that he forgave you for it. When he left, you crawled into bed and dreamed about the day when he wouldn’t have to leave again.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam needs to talk to you.

The next couple of weeks were a bit of a blur. You were behind on work deadlines, you were just managing to keep up with your classes, with some help from Cas, and finals were upon you. The time you and Cas spent together was short, but hot. Cas had gotten a lot braver in the bedroom, investigating your drawer in the night stand, and asking you about everything he found in there. Although he liked the mask, both on you and himself, and tying you up led to a night where you both had orgasms so powerful you passed out, he really enjoyed watching you play with your various vibrators and dildos. He would sit on the end of the bed, fisting his cock, his eyes trained on the toy and how you used it, his moans echoing yours. After he learned how you used the toys, he then liked to use them on you, too.

You didn’t know where it came from, but Cas was slowly learning how to completely dominate you in bed, and you loved it. He liked knowing that he could take you away from the stresses of your days and make you feel good. He had initially been surprised at how strongly you would react to him telling you what to do and praising you, but he soon found that he liked knowing he could affect you that way. You both were getting more adventurous with each other, and learning more about each other in the process.

You weren’t spending all of your time in the bedroom, though you would have been happy to. He helped out around your apartment, cooking dinner and doing the dishes while you studied, or quizzing you when you needed a study buddy. Because of his help, you made it through finals week without having a single meltdown, and you felt confident that you had done well.

Your last final was in Sam’s class, and you almost breezed through it. You checked over your work, and when you were done, you packed up your things to go. As you handed him your exam book, he gave you a wavering smile, and slid a piece of paper towards you on the desk, indicating that you should take it. Furrowing your brow, you grabbed it, and from the way he looked at you and the door, you figured he wanted to you wait until you were gone to read it.

Outside the classroom, you opened the paper to see, “Meet me at the coffee shop in an hour. I need to talk to you.”

While you drove to the shop, bought yourself a muffin and a thousand-calorie coffee drink, and waited for Sam, you wondered what he needed to talk about. Had someone found out about the two of you and told his boss? Could one of your friends have really betrayed your trust like that? Or maybe Gabe flapped his gums again? Now that finals were over, you had time to plan his demise. You sighed when you realized that he’d probably enjoy most of the scenarios you could imagine.

Hoping you were working yourself up over nothing, you tried to smile when you saw Sam walk in the door. He took a step towards the counter, then stopped and stepped in your direction. Two steps later, he seemed to reconsider again, pausing to stare at the counter for a moment, then resuming his walk to your table. When he finally reached you, he took a deep breath and sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Hey, Y/N. Thanks for meeting me.” His eyes darted all over the shop while he took off his coat, but when he was about to sit, he changed his mind again and waved towards the counter. “I’m just gonna get something. Be right back.”

Sam walked off, your eyes glued to his back. He was clearly nervous about something, not angry or really upset, so maybe this was about something completely different? Sam fidgeted in line, shifting his weight back and forth, picking at his clothing, and either running his hand through his hair or rubbing the back of his neck. It would be a wonder if he had any hair left by the time he got his coffee the way he was tugging on it.

When he finally sat down, you couldn’t wait for him to speak. “Sam, did someone at the school find out about us? Are you in trouble or something because of me?”

Sam huffed a laugh and shook his head, but the nervous flitting his eyes were doing didn’t stop. “No, it’s nothing like that. And now that you’re not my student anymore and your final grade is submitted, I’m not worried about it. If someone wants to say something, let them.”

You heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God. You had me worried. If it’s not that, then what’s up? I mean, I was thinking of asking for your help with finding something to give Cas for Christmas, but you asked me to meet you.”

Sam’s smile wavered, and his eyes flitted around the room again. “Y/N, I, um, need to ask you something.” He ran his hand through his hair again and his face got flushed. “I wouldn’t even consider asking this if it weren’t for your history.” He cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee while your mind whirled. What could he be talking about?

Putting his cup down, he took a deep breath. “I like you, Y/N. A lot.” He watched your face, sensing your confusion. “More than I should.” His eyes dropped down to his coffee cup. “Even considering how, um, close, we’ve been, though that didn’t help.”

Your thoughts spun through your head. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Sam.”

Sam took another deep breath and looked you straight in the eye. “I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, Y/N. I thought it would fade as I got to know you, but it just got worse. Your arguments in class were always so well-thought out, and when we’d talk outside of class, it just made me want you more. I tried to wait, told myself it was better to wait until I wasn’t your professor anymore, but I couldn’t. Then I saw the bite mark on your neck at Halloween and realized I’d waited too long. So, I backed off and tried to forget about you.”

Every conversation you’d had with him flickered through your mind. Every smile, every laugh, every light touch suddenly crashed into your mind. And the way he’d suddenly just walked away from you at Halloween. It all fell together in your mind and you wondered how you had missed it before.

“When you walked through that door and Cas introduced you, my mind was blown. During the whole drive over to your apartment, I just put together everything Cas had told me about you with everything I already knew. When I walked through your door, I had every intention of backing out. You’re my best friend’s girl, you were my student, and you were already involved in one sticky relationship, you didn’t need another one. Not to mention the fact that I was still hung up on you, boyfriend or not. The fact that your boyfriend was my best friend just made it that much worse.

“But when I got to your place, everything just seemed to happen so fast. Cas was depending on me, and you weren’t against it, and the only reason I could think of to back out of it was that I liked you too much. I couldn’t tell Cas that the woman he loved, who’d opened him up the way no one else ever had, was the same girl I’d been moping about for months.”

Sam’s eyes dropped and then he rubbed his face with both hands. “I should have backed out. Since that day, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.”

Your hands were gripping your iced coffee cup so tightly you were surprised you hadn’t broken the cup, already. Sam wanted you?

He put his hands over yours around your cup. “If you didn’t have the history you have, I’d walk away and find someone else to help me get my mind off of you. I’d do my best to avoid you and keep quiet forever. But, you’ve loved two men at the same time before, so I can’t just walk away without asking. I can’t give up without asking you if you could love me, too.”

Your eyebrows met your hairline as you stared at Sam. Looking down at your hands held in his, your mouth flapped open and shut like a fish.

“I don’t want to take you from Cas. Please understand, I don’t want to break you up. I’m asking if you could love both of us like you did the guys you dated before.”

After a deep breath, you finally found your voice. “That was a completely different situation, Sam. They were queer, in a relationship with each other before I met them, and in love with each other. We were a triad. You’re asking if you can share me with your best friend. That’s a very different animal, Sam.”

Sam’s face fell, and you tried to gather your thoughts quickly, but failed.

“You’d have to ask Cas. I mean, I love Cas, and he’s all I need. I mean, you know, Sam, I like you, and maybe if I hadn’t met Cas, but I did, and I’m with Cas,” you sputtered, your words all falling on top of each other.

Suddenly unable to control your hands as thoughts of what Sam was suggesting flew through your mind, you pulled your hands from his and twisted them in your lap.

“I’m not asking you to leave him, Y/N. I’m asking if you could love both of us. If you could, then we can talk to Cas about it.” Sam’s voice sounded hopeful and his eyes were bright, his mouth almost turned up into a smile.

Cas had said he didn’t want to share you again. You had told Cas you didn’t want anyone but him. Now, Sam was sitting in front of you, offering himself to you, and why hadn’t you just said no, already? Was there part of you that wasn’t happy with just Cas? Thinking of the afternoon you spent with both men, all you could remember was Cas. Sure, there was Sam’s hands and Sam’s mouth, but what you remembered was the look on Cas’s face when you took him in your mouth and sucked him off. Cas’s tongue as he licked and sucked on your clit for the first time. Cas’s gasp as he felt you and Sam move above him.

Your hands got clammy and you felt flustered beyond control. “I don’t know, Sam. I don’t think so. I mean, that day was nice, but I don’t think… I mean…” Your voice trailed off as your mind buzzed. “I have to go. I can’t… not right now…”

Gathering your backpack and coat, you got up and ran out of the coffee shop, heading for your car. Before you could open the door, though, a gigantic hand grabbed your arm and spun you around so you crashed into a solid chest. Another hand cradled your head as you looked up into Sam’s frightened face.

“Y/N, please, I know there was something between us. I know it. Let me prove it,” he said, and his lips came down to meet yours.

You were so shocked by what had happened, your mouth was already open when Sam’s lips crashed into yours. His tongue plunged into your mouth, trying to draw out a response from you, but you were too shocked to move. You froze in place, completely stiff in his arms while he plundered your mouth, then gently nipped and sucked on your lips, trying to get you to kiss him back. When you didn’t, he finally pulled back, looking at you with a mix of sadness and terror.

You covered your mouth with your hand and quickly pulled yourself from his arms and got into your car. Without another word, you pulled away from Sam and the coffee shop, almost running into another car on your way out of the parking lot.

Of course, the woman behind the wheel was Jess.

Not having the wherewithal to deal with Jess, you simply threw her a polite smile and a wave, then turned the wheel of your car and raced away, wishing you’d never set foot in that coffee shop. It seemed nothing good ever happened there.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shit hits the fan.

You spent the next few hours trying to figure out what happened with Sam, how you felt about it, and if you should tell Cas. You thought you should, but you didn’t have the slightest clue where to start.  _ Hey, Cas, your best friend made a pass at me, and I don’t know how I feel about that. _ Yeah, that would go over well. When Cas called to say he couldn’t come over because of a dying parishioner requesting last rites, you hid your need to talk to him and assured him you were fine.

Your cell phone woke you up early on your first day of winter break. You’d only slept fitfully, too concerned with how to deal with the situation with Sam, and you’d been glad you could sleep in for a change. So much for that.

“Hello?” you groaned into the phone, thinking of violent ways to make sure the person on the other end didn’t ever do this again.

“Y/N, it’s your aunt. What is this I hear about you sleeping with Father Novak, and then cheating on him with one of his friends? Please tell me this isn’t true, Y/N. Your father must be spinning in his grave. I doubt your mother would mind, considering her hippy-dippy ways, but I knew my brother well enough to know that if he knew that you had seduced a priest… a  _ priest _ , Y/N… that he would be very disappointed in you!”

At the sound of your aunt’s voice, you sat up straight in bed, unconsciously almost standing at attention like a soldier in front of a drill sergeant. As the sleep fog cleared your brain, your aunt’s words started seeping in.

“Aunt Naomi, I’m sorry. I haven’t had my coffee, yet, this morning. Can you repeat that?” Your heart was racing, knowing full well what you’d heard, but hoping having her repeat it would give your brain time to think of a response.

“I just had a most enlightening conversation with Jess, Y/N. She told me all about your relationship with Father Novak, and then how she keeps finding you in compromising positions with a friend of his named Sam. Not to mention something about you whoring around back before your mother’s accident. I have to say, Y/N, if any part of this is true, I am very disappointed in you, and I’m sure your father would be, too!”

Shock enveloped your body as everything your aunt was saying sunk in. She knew  _ everything _ . Every single thing you’d hoped to hide was now laid bare. Worst of all, she was  _ disappointed _ . You’d expected her to be mad, but not disappointed.

“Aunt Naomi, how about I come over and we talk this out in person?”

Two hours later, you left your aunt’s home in tears.

Your aunt leveled all the charges against you, you responded to each one, and were found guilty over and over again. You tried to explain your relationship with Tristan and Ross, but she couldn’t get past any part of it. Although she’d never treat a homosexual person differently than anyone else, she still thought it was a sin, and that you were a party to it made it your sin, too. Then, there was the polyamory aspect. That wasn’t as bad as the homosexual part, but it was close. Cut to your relationship with Cas. You explained that he was leaving the church, and he’d made that decision prior to your relationship, but she didn’t care. Right now, he was still a priest, still bound by his vows until the Vatican released him, and you were helping him to break them.

The one charge you thought should be dismissed was cheating on Cas with Sam. You tried to deny the kiss ever happened, but Naomi saw through that quickly. You tried explaining that Sam had kissed you, you hadn’t kissed back, and you’d left because you knew it was wrong, but your aunt was done believing in you. You’d disappointed her so thoroughly, that she couldn’t see her way around to believing you could do anything right. You asked her what she was going to do, and she said she didn’t know, but a visit with Father Singer was probably in order.

After that, she gave you your sentence. As punishment for your crimes, you were no longer her niece.

As soon as you got into your car, you called Cas. You were so upset you could barely speak, having just been disowned and shunned by the last member of your family. Your breath hitched constantly as you sobbed, suddenly missing your mother so fiercely you couldn’t breathe. Cas couldn’t understand you, and offered to come to you, but you told him to stay at the church and you’d go to him. You’d have to talk to Father Singer before anyone else did, anyway.

When you got to the rectory, Cas was waiting outside for you. When he saw your face, blotchy red and tear-stained, he pulled you tightly to his chest and rocked you while another wave of sobbing overwhelmed you. He cradled your head with one hand and shushed you quietly until your sobs calmed down and you could speak again.

“What happened, Y/N? Who did this to you?”

Sniffling and wiping your nose on your sleeve, you then buried your face in his shoulder. “Aunt Naomi found out everything. She disowned me and said she’s going to talk to Father Singer.”

Cas pushed you away just far enough that he could see your face, holding your upper arms tightly in his hands. “Your aunt  _ disowned _ you?”

You nodded. “But Cas, that’s not the worst! She’s probably already called Father Singer! We need to talk to him,  _ now _ !”

The worry etched on Cas’s face mixed with horror, then resignation. He pulled you into his chest again and shushed you while you sobbed again. “It’s okay, Y/N. We’ll go inside and we’ll talk to him, and we’ll deal with the fallout. Worst case scenario: I’m immediately excommunicated and we just get to start our new life a few weeks early and a couple paychecks poorer.”

He turned with you in his arms and you both walked into the rectory, hoping you were ready to face what was to come.

Father Singer was sitting in the living room, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He rubbed his hands over his face as you both entered the room, then looked up at Cas with fire in his eyes.

“You IDJIT!” He stood up and took just one step towards Cas, then stopped and curled his hands into fists at his side. “All you had to do was wait a couple of months, and this would have all gone down quietly. But, no.” Father Singer’s face turned a dangerous shade of red, and you took a step back, ducking your head in shame.

“Bobby, I’m sorry that my actions are blowing back on you. I never wanted that. I’ll do whatever you want me to do to make this easier on you,” Cas said, his voice steady and controlled. His arm was still around your shoulders, and he gave you a quick squeeze.

Father Singer sighed. “I have to notify the Vatican, and you’ll be excommunicated effective immediately.” His voice was calmer and quieter, but the stress was still evident. “They’re going to tell me to kick you out of the rectory posthaste, and only allow you back to collect your things.”

Cas sighed. “I understand.” He pulled the white collar from around his neck and handed it over to Father Singer, his eyes downcast.

Tears started quietly streaming down your face again, and you tried to keep your sniffles quiet, but the room was so still with the tension between to two priests that your every breath echoed. This was all your fault. If you had maybe had some self-control, Cas wouldn’t have broken his vows. But, no. You couldn’t wait. And now you had both lost things and people you wouldn’t ever get back.

“Y/N,” Father Singer said, his voice choked with emotion, “Unfortunately, for your part in this, I’m sure you’ll be excommunicated, too. Your aunt mentioned some other transgressions that weren’t, well, relevant to the issue at hand, and if you want me to, I’ll listen to your confession one last time before calling the Vatican.”

You knew he was offering you a chance to have him listen and give you advice, not just to ask for absolution, but right then, absolution felt like the last thing you deserved.

“Thank you, Father, but I think I need some time to process everything, yet.” You sniffled again, more tears streaming down your face.

Father Singer approached you, reaching out a hand and touching your arm. “For what it’s worth, kiddo, I think your aunt is being a bit hasty and unforgiving about most of it. I’ll try to get her to come around over time.” He gave you a tired smile and you tried to return it, but your face just wouldn’t make the motion. “All right, you two. Go get packing. I need to go make some calls.”

Cas led you to his room, and the two of you packed what little he had into his suitcase and a few reusable grocery bags he kept on hand. You loaded up the car, and when his room was empty, he stood in front of Father Singer with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry I won’t be here to help you with the holidays, Bobby. You don’t deserve to be left in a lurch like this.”

Bobby harrumphed, and the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. “Thank you for having the thought, Cas. You’re right, but what can I do? Naomi wouldn’t let it sit until later. I’ve done it alone for the past twenty-odd years, I can do it alone this year, too.”

The two men stood there awkwardly shuffling their feet until Father Singer finally muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “Balls.” He suddenly threw his arms around the younger man, clapping his hand on Cas’s back. “Just because you’re not a Catholic doesn’t mean we can’t have coffee or something. Don’t be a stranger, kid.”

Cas pulled back from the embrace, smiling into his mentor’s eyes, and Father Singer patted Cas’s face fondly with a smile. Father Singer then turned to you and embraced you, too. “Same goes for you, Y/N. You need anything, you holler.”

You nodded, feeling the tears starting to well up in your eyes again, making it hard to speak. Cas took your hand and led you out the door to your packed car. The car ride back to your apartment was silent, with only the radio playing quietly in the background. Both of you were just emotionally exhausted, with a side of physical tiredness from packing. At your apartment, you unloaded Cas’s things, vowing to make space for him after you got some rest, and you both fell into bed for a long nap, Cas curled round you.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shit, more fans.

After your nap, you and Cas went about getting him settled in to your apartment, making space and unpacking his few belongings. You didn’t talk much, except about where to put things, not wanting to face everything that had happened while it was still so raw. Your aunt’s words kept ringing through your head,  _ disappointed, heathen, adulterer _ , and  _ not my niece _ . You always knew she wouldn’t approve, but you never dreamed she’d cut you out of her life. She really did, though, and it was proven when a box of your things was left outside your apartment door without so much as a note. You fell asleep that night, wrapped in Cas’s arms, tears still streaming down your face.

You woke up the next morning with your head pounding, feeling like you’d inhaled a bottle of whiskey the night before, even though you hadn’t had a drop. The only good thing you felt was Cas tangled up in you. His heartbeat soothed you while his warmth comforted you.

Since neither of you had anywhere to go, you both decided to take it easy and just watch movies on TV and relax, needing the escape from real life for a while. You were doing a good job of avoiding all thoughts or mentions of real life when Cas’s phone dinged. He picked it up, and cursed when he read the message.

“Damn. I completely forgot. Gabe’s birthday party is tonight. We’re invited.”

You groaned, but then shrugged. “Well, we can’t stay cooped up here forever, so we might as well rip the bandage off tonight.”

Cas agreed, and you both left the comfort of the couch to get ready. When you saw Cas dressed in nice jeans and a dark blue button-down shirt, you smiled for the first time since everything had fallen apart. He struggled with his hair, trying to get it to lay down flat, but you walked over to him and ran your fingers through it, messing it up again. He huffed at you and you giggled.

“I like it better when it’s messy. You look sexy as fuck that way,” you said with a sultry smile.

Cas dropped his hands and grinned. “Fine. Then you do whatever you want with it.”

Matching his grin with your own, you ruffled his hair until it looked perfect, and then stepped back with a smile. “There. That’s my sexy boyfriend.”

Cas blushed, then checked himself out in the mirror, and his blush deepened. “Y/N, I don’t believe this look is proper for so much as leaving the house, much less my brother’s birthday party. I look, well,  _ debauched _ .”

Laughing, you pulled him close and kissed him. “Good. Then everyone will know you’re mine and I take care of my man.”

Cas laughed and kissed you, almost making you want to skip the party, but he pulled away just in time.

When you got to the restaurant, you found that Gabe had reserved a private room in the back. When you entered the room on Cas’s arm, a hush slowly fell over everyone. Your brain suddenly went into overdrive. Did Cas’s family know about you? Did they know what had happened yesterday? Would they blame you for everything?

“Cassie! Y/N! So glad you could make it!” Gabe welcomed you, giving you both big hugs. “Glad you left the dog collar at home, Cas. Nothing poops on a party like a priest.”

Cas looked at Gabe and Gabe suddenly stilled. “Gabe,” he said, then addressed the rest of the room, “everyone. I don’t want to ruin the party, but I have something to say, and I only want to say it once, then we can get back to celebrating my brother.”

You were focused on Cas and Gabe, too afraid to even see who else was at the party, much less judge what their reaction would be.

“Yesterday, I was defrocked and excommunicated from the Catholic Church. I moved out of the rectory, and am temporarily living with Y/N until I get back on my feet. Most of you heard about her at Thanksgiving, so you know how I feel about her. If you have any questions, we can answer them later, because tonight is about Gabe.” Cas turned to his brother, who was frozen in shock, and hugged him. “Happy birthday, Gabe. I hope this year is even better to you than last year was.”

As the brothers broke apart, Gabe turned to you and hugged you, and the rest of the room began to talk again, making you feel less self-conscious. When Gabe let you go, you saw your friends, Emily, Allie, and Kelsey, standing around you with curious faces. You looked at Cas, and he looked at you, then glanced around the room and back at you. Nodding, you encouraged him to go and talk with his family while you caught up with your friends.

“Before I say anything, how did you guys all get here?” you asked, your eyes bouncing between them.

“Gabe and I have come to an understanding,” Emily said. “We’re okay. So, he invited us all to his party. And I’m glad, too! What the hell happened??”

Your face fell as your aunt’s words rung in your head again. Your friends moved closer to you as you ducked your head and tried to stop the tears from starting again. After a few deep breaths, you were finally able to speak.

“Aunt Naomi found out about everything. Tristan and Ross, Cas and Sam, everything. I don’t think she knows who Sam is, but she knows something happened with a friend of Cas’s.” Your breath hitched and you closed your eyes and concentrated on your breathing until the urge to sob passed again. “She disowned me and called Father Singer. He didn’t have a choice. Cas and I are both no longer Catholics, he’s no longer a priest, and…” You took another deep breath. “…I no longer have an aunt.” A stray tear ran down your face, and you rushed to wipe it away before anyone outside your little circle could see it. Your friends crowded around you, all trying to hug you at once. When they let you go, Cas was next to you, ready to put his arm around you, as well.

As the two of you talked about what you were going to do, now, you saw Sam approach, and your meeting with him the other day crashed back into your mind. You looked at him and Cas in panic, and when he met your eyes, you shook your head slightly, hoping he’d understand. He nodded, and you breathed a sigh of relief. He still approached you, standing on the other side of you from Cas, and listened as Cas explained his plans to find any kind of short-term employment until after the holidays, when he would start a search for a more permanent job.

The girls started doing what they always did, supporting you by trashing the person who hurt you, this time it was your aunt.

“What a bitch, Y/N,” Allie said, shaking her head and sneering.

“It’s not very Christian to cut off your niece. We’re supposed to be about forgiveness. Cutting you off isn’t very forgiving,” Kelsey said.

“How did she even find out? I mean, none of us told her, and we’re pretty much the only people who knew, right?” Emily’s eyes travelled around the room as if the culprit was hiding just behind some of the other partygoers.

Cas turned to you with his brow furrowed. “How did she find out? You never said.”

“Jess told her. Jess told her every bad thing she ever thought she knew about me. She told her about Tristan and Ross, and about that time she saw me and Sam at the coffee shop.” You decided to leave out mentioning the kiss right then, figuring that was a part of the conversation that should wait until later.

Cas’s face turned red and his expression stony. “So coming to me about it wasn’t enough, she had to go to your aunt?”

“What??” You didn’t think your eyes could get any wider. “She went to you about it?”

Cas nodded. “She was quick to tell me that she saw you with a friend of mine and you both looked ‘cozy,’ as she put it.” He used the air quotes and everything, cutting your anger by a fraction with the move. “You told me all about it before I could even bring it up, so I didn’t want to bother you by telling you Jess had decided to play tattletale.”

You shut your eyes and shook your head, wondering what you had ever done to Jess to make her want to ruin your life this way. “Well, it doesn’t matter who said what, now that it’s all out in the open. The bright side is that now Cas and I don’t have to sneak around anymore, and we get to see a lot more of each other. I’m trying to focus on that, and not on what we’ve lost.” You looked at your friends, and they all smiled with you. Sam’s smile was strained, but polite.

Gabe chose that moment to herd you and your friends around the room to introduce you to the rest of the Novak siblings. You’d heard a lot about them from Cas, so it was nice to put names to faces. Kelsey flirted shamelessly with Anna, and in spite of the age difference, Anna took the bait. While Cas was talking with Michael and his wife, you turned your back to him to face Emily and Allie.

Leaning towards them, you murmured just loud enough for them both to hear you and smirked at Allie. “I’ve got Cas, Emily has Gabe, Kelsey’s working on Anna, too bad Michael’s married.” You pretended to think for a moment, then smiled. “Unless you’re okay with conjugal visits!”

You and Emily erupted into laughter as Allie smacked your arm several times, then gave you the bitch face to rival all previous bitch faces. You were saved from Allie’s response when Dean walked in the door, waving at everyone and apologizing for being late. When Dean saw you, recognition flashed in his eyes and he walked over to where you and your friends were standing.

“Hey, Y/N, right? Good to see you again!” He put out a hand and you shook it, trying not to laugh at the look on Allie’s face as she stared at Dean.  “Sammy told me you came out all right after the fire, but I didn’t hear much after that. How’ve you been?”

“I’m okay, Dean,” you said, not wanting to get into everything again. You introduced your friends, though Kelsey just waved and went back to talking to Anna, and Allie stayed frozen to the spot, a stiff smile preventing her from looking like a guppy.

Dean leaned towards you and gave you a charming smile. “Hey, the semester’s over, now, right?”

You nodded and then squinted, peering at Dean to try and figure out what he was talking about.

Dean straightened up and grinned. “Good. ‘Cause let me tell you, there for a while, Sammy couldn’t shut up about you. Now that the semester’s over, you’re free to go out with him, right?”

Horror froze you to the spot. You silently wished for the floor to open up and swallow you.

“Dean,” Cas said, suddenly appearing behind you and putting an arm around your waist. “Are you telling me that Y/N is the student Sam told us about all those months ago?”

Dean looked at Cas’s possessive arm around you, and how you relaxed into his hold, and his jaw went slack. His mouth opened and shut like a fish for a moment, before he started stuttering. “I – I, uh, well, wait, Y/N is your girlfriend?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the heat on your cheeks and wondering how this day could possibly get worse.

“Yes, Dean. Y/N is my girlfriend. Now, what is this about her and Sam?”

Dean took a step back and shook his head with a nervous smile. “Um, nope. I must have it all wrong, then. There’s no way I’ve got this right. That’s just too big of a coincidence.”

Cas straightened up to his full height, and you felt the tension roll off of him as his arm clamped down on you. “Dean, I somehow think you know more than you’re saying.  _ Spill _ .”

A shudder went down your spine at the sound of Cas’s voice. It was dark and commanding and you hoped to never be on the receiving end of it. Considering the way the conversation was going, you thought that hope might die a quick death very shortly.

Dean was shaking his head, but he was powerless to resist the wrath of Cas. “I met Y/N when her apartment building had the fire, and I thought she was the student Sam told us about, but I could be completely wrong about that, Cas. It was two months ago, man, and you know how closely I pay attention to Sam’s whining and moping. He could have been talking about Miley Cyrus for all I’d know. I don’t know why you’d be upset about this, Cas. It was just a little crush. Even if it was Y/N, it didn’t mean anything.”

Cas was stiff and unmoving next to you, and you cringed, waiting for his response. His arm quickly dropped from your waist as Cas stormed off towards where Sam was standing. Just as Sam turned to Cas with a smile, Cas cold-cocked him, hitting him in the jaw so hard he flew back against the wall and slid down to the floor, looking dazed.

You broke out of your frozen state and ran over to where Cas was standing over Sam, shaking out his hand. Grabbing onto his arm, you glared up at him, but he ignored you.

“I trusted you, and you lied to me! You swore to me it wasn’t her, but it was.” Cas turned to you, his face red and his chest heaving. “Did you know?”

You started to shake your head, but that would be a lie. Cas saw your indecision and his face got impossibly redder.

“You knew, and didn’t tell me?” His voice was quieter, but still ice cold.

“Not until the other day. It was right before everything blew up, and with everything else going on, I just forgot.” You glanced down at Sam and saw the disappointment on his face.

Cas saw you look at Sam and his expression became stony. He spun on his heel and walked out of the room without another word. Giving Sam one last glance, you rushed out the door after Cas. By the time you got out the door, Cas had disappeared. The car was still in the parking lot, but he was nowhere to be found. You ran around the building, looking for some clue as to where he went, but there was nothing. He’d simply disappeared.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cleaning up the mess.

When you finally gave up on finding Cas outside the restaurant, you went back inside, not knowing what to do. Cas had the keys to the car, so you were basically stranded. You tried calling him, but he must have turned his phone off, because it went straight to voicemail. You sent him texts, left him voicemails, but you knew it was useless. Sam tried to apologize, but you just held up a hand to him and turned away. Your friends crowded around you, keeping you from seeing the reactions of Cas’s family members. They all offered to take you home, but you didn’t want to ruin the party any more than you already had. After making sure Sam was okay, Dean saved the day by offering to hotwire your car for you, so you wouldn’t have to pay for a cab. As you watched Dean fiddle with things underneath your dash, you shivered in the cold.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Me and my big mouth.”

“It’s not your fault, Dean. I’m the one that didn’t tell Cas the minute I knew about Sam’s feelings. If I had just pushed everything else aside and talked to him about it, it wouldn’t have been like this. He may have been upset, but not like this.”

Dean put down what he was working on and stood up. He took hold of your shoulders and forced you to meet his gaze. “It’s not your fault, either. Cas was way out of bounds. So what if Sam has a little crush on you? It’s not like he made a pass at you or anything.”

You looked up at Dean sadly and realization swept over Dean.

“Oh, he did make a pass at you.” Dean rubbed a hand over his face. “Stupid kid,” he muttered. He crawled back under the dash of your car, and a minute later your car roared to life. Dean climbed out and gave you a grin.

“Your chariot, milady,” he said, with a deep bow.

You smiled and thanked him. “Just take care of Sam. He’s gonna need a friend until Cas cools down.”

Dean nodded and you had watched him go back inside before you drove off. Once you were home and alone, everything came crashing in on you, and tears coursed down your cheeks. You tried calling Cas a few more times, but it still went straight to voicemail. You left him another message, begging him to come home, and passed out on the couch.

You woke up the next morning to banging on your apartment door. Jumping up, you flung the door open, hoping it was Cas. Instead of Cas, though, it was your friends, bringing bags of food and cups of coffee. They bustled into your apartment, pushing you to sit down at the table and placing a box filled with blueberry pancakes in front of you.

“Eat. Then explain to us what the fuck is going on and how we can help.” Kelsey stared you down, daring you to defy her and say you weren’t hungry, while Allie and Emily gathered silverware and condiments from your kitchen. You didn’t want to eat, but knowing Kelsey wouldn’t be denied, you took the fork Emily handed to you and cut a small bite off of your pancakes and put it in your mouth. Seeing you behaving so well, she nodded and tucked into her own box.

“Just so you know, Cas ended up at Gabe’s last night. I sent you a text, but I didn’t get an answer, which is why we’re here.” Emily glared at you, but you knew she was just worried.

Jumping up from your chair, you grabbed your phone and turned it on, seeing only messages from your friends, nothing from Cas. You flopped back into your chair and sighed.

“I fell asleep on the couch last night, so didn’t get your message until just now. I guess Cas is still mad at me, or he would have texted me instead of you.” You picked at your breakfast, suddenly having even less of an appetite than you had before.

“Don’t know. He was passed out on Gabe’s doorstep, smelling like a distillery. We dragged him inside and left him on the couch. He was still sleeping when I left this morning. My bet is he won’t be sober for another day or two.”

You shook your head and then dropped it into your hands, covering your face. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What exactly is Cas pissed about, anyway?” Allie asked, her mouth full of pancakes.

Each of your friends looked equally curious and concerned, and you knew you could trust them. You told them about meeting Sam on Thursday after your final, him asking if he could share you with Cas, and even the kiss. “My guess is that Jess really believes that I’m cheating on Cas with Sam. She tried telling Cas before, and that didn’t work, so this time she decided to tell Aunt Naomi. She knew Aunt Naomi would do something about it.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty sure Jess has wanted Cas from the moment she set eyes on him. Seeing him break his vows for a slut like me was just too much for her.”

“What a fucking bitch,” Allie said, her mouth clear of food, but murder in her eyes.

Kelsey ran one hand through her hair, making it stand up on end, her other hand clenched in a fist next to her food. “The bitch needs to butt out of your life and get one of her own. She’s just jealous because you’ve got four hot guys that care about you, and she’s at home alone with her fucking hand.”

“We should feel bad for her, since she’s obviously missing something in her life, or she wouldn’t be so obsessed about yours.” Emily shook her head. “Maybe we should sign her up with one of those online dating sites or something.”

Emily may have been thinking seriously, but Kelsey and Allie started joking back and forth about things to add to Jess’s imaginary profile. Before long, they even had you giggling at picturing Jess with a Hell’s Angel who liked to be dominated in bed.

When your laughter finally faded and you all were feeling better, you got to ask about them. Emily told you that Gabe had decided that he thought she was worth waiting for, and they were taking things at a glacial pace. She would sleep over, but they just slept, giving her time to get used to even being close to him. Anytime things got too heated for her, he would immediately back off, making her feel completely safe and secure. Kelsey blushed when you asked about her and Anna, and told you they had a date set for that night already. When you asked them how the party had gone, Emily and Kelsey ratted out Allie, telling you all about how she and Dean had flirted like crazy all night long. Apparently, Sam had left the party shortly after you did, after he and Dean had had a quiet, but angry, conversation. You felt badly for Sam. Yes, he had made mistakes, but you knew he was hurting just as much as the rest of you in all of this.

The sound of the key turning in the lock was muffled by your conversation as the four of you cleaned up after breakfast. You heard the door shut, though, and ran out of the kitchen to see Cas and Gabe standing in the living room. Cas looked like he hadn’t slept at all, with dark circles under his eyes and a sullen expression. You rushed over to him and looked him over, checking to make sure he was all right, and only finding the bruised knuckles from his scuffle with Sam the night before.

“He’s okay, Y/N, just needs some rest. I gave him some ibuprofen and water, but figured he’d be better off here with you, so I dragged his sorry ass over here.” Gabe greeted Emily with a chaste kiss, and you absently noted the blush that took over her cheeks.

Your eyes focused on Cas, and he looked down at you with such sadness in his eyes your heart ached. “I’m so sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean to keep it from you, I just didn’t have a chance to tell you.” Lifting your arm, you stroked his hair, and smiled when he leaned into your touch.

His voice was deeper and rougher than usual when he said, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and flying off the handle. I never should have left you like I did.”

His arms wrapped around you and you hugged him tightly, almost afraid he’d slip away from you. While you held each other in your arms, you saw Gabe and the girls sneak out the door, waving their goodbyes. You led Cas over to the table to sit.

“Where did you go last night?” you asked, trying not to sound like you were interrogating him.

“I found a liquor store and I drank it,” Cas replied with a groan. He held his hand in his hands, and you tried not to laugh at his misery.

While you made him a greasy breakfast to help his hangover, you both talked. You told him about your conversation with Sam, including the kiss, and Cas told you about his conversation with Sam after the three of you had been together. In hindsight, you could see that Sam had wanted to stay to be with you more. As Cas ate, you wondered what would become of their friendship.

“Considering the fact that you decked him, I’m guessing you’re not considering his offer. Am I right?” You tried to look cool, but butterflies had taken over your entire body.

Cas grimaced. “No. I don’t want to share you again. Not even with Sam. Especially not with Sam, now that I know what he’s done,” he growled, stabbing at his scrambled eggs.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page about that, then,” you said, hoping to calm him. “Because I only want you, Cas.”

Cas smiled and leaned in to kiss you, then went back to his food.

Something was still nagging at the back of your mind, and you tried to push it away, but your mind wouldn’t let it go.

“Cas, why did you ask Sam to do a threesome in the first place? Because I’m getting the feeling there was more to it than just curiosity.”

Cas’s face turned beet red and he closed his eyes for a moment. “I was insecure and thought that my inexperience was, well, keeping you from, you know, being fulfilled. I felt so ignorant of everything, that I didn’t even know what questions to ask to get the answers I wanted. Sam was there to kind of pave the way and teach me how to make you feel good.” Cas glanced at you, but then hid his eyes again. “Also, you know, Tristan and Ross were two men and I am only one. How could I possibly keep you satisfied?”

Your heart ached. “Oh, Cas.” You moved closer to him and cupped his head on your hands, forcing him to look at you. “I love you. You do keep me satisfied. More than satisfied. I don’t need anyone else. Just you.”

Cas smiled as his eyes got glassy. “Me, too. I just love you so much, Y/N.” He kissed you gently, not much more than a pressing of lips together, and then rested his forehead against yours. “God, I love you,” he whispered.

You backed away to let him finish his food, and he dug back into it with a smile. “But I do think you need to talk to Sam and work this out.” Cas glared at you, but you knew it was at your words, not at you. “Yes, he needs to apologize, but he’s your best friend, Cas. When he apologizes, you need to forgive him.”

He rubbed a hand over his face and grunted. “I don’t want to think about that right now.” He finished his food, putting the dishes in the sink, then turned around and pulled you out of your chair. “Right now, I just want to spend some quiet time with the woman I love.” He almost crushed you against his chest for a moment, holding you so close you could feel his heartbeat. Even with everything you’d lost, you still had him, and you thanked whatever God you now answered to for bringing him into your life.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little closure for everyone.

Over the next week, Cas found a temporary job, in the coffee shop, of all places, and you got caught up on your editing work for The Press. You decorated your apartment together, keeping things simple and cheap, since neither one of you had a lot of spare cash for Christmas decorations at the moment. Sam did text Cas after a couple of days, apologizing for everything and promising he’d keep his distance from you both, if that’s what you wanted. You convinced Cas that you all could work through the awkwardness; it would just take time. You knew it would be a while before they were best friends again, but you had faith that they’d work it out.

Cas’s first day at the coffee shop was more eventful than you could have dreamed. You were dropping him off, since the car he’d been using belonged to the church, and as he kissed you goodbye through your open window, you saw Jess walking up to the door. Cas turned around to approach the door and you saw him tense as he took her in. She looked at him walking away from your car and frowned.

“After everything she’s done, cost you your calling, cheated on you with your friend, you’re still with her?” Jess’s face was quickly turning red with outrage.

Cas looked at her with a quiet rage even you could see from inside the car. “I don’t owe you anything, much less an explanation, but I will remind you of what I said the last time you came to me with these accusations. I was leaving the church before her, and there was nothing going on between her and Sam.”

Jess’s eyes got huge. “She was  _ kissing _ him!!!”

Cas’s hand clenched at his sides. “No.  _ He _ was kissing  _ her _ , and then she pushed him away because she loves me and would never cheat. But you couldn’t see the truth because you’ve been demonizing her since day one. She has done  _ nothing _ wrong. You, however, ripped apart the fragile remains of a family and cost Father Singer the help he so desperately needs during the busiest time of the year. You put your nose where it didn’t belong and created discord where it didn’t need to be. And for what, Jess? To prove that you’re more righteous than she is? To win my favor? What you did was stupid and juvenile and hurtful to so many more people than just your intended target. May God have mercy on your soul, even though you don’t deserve it.”

Jess stood there, eyes wide, brows high, mouth opening and closing like a fish, sputtering. Cas bent over to look in the car at you and gave you a smile while he blew you a kiss and told you he loved you. He then waltzed into the coffee shop and put on the apron one of his co-workers handed to him. Jess looked back and forth between the door to the shop and your car, then turned around and flounced away. You stifled a laugh and rolled up your window with a smile.

Christmas morning found you waking up underneath the tree with Cas wrapped around you. Christmas Eve had been tough on you both, since attending Mass with your families was a tradition. Now that the church was not an option, you had spent the evening lying under the tree, looking up at the twinkling lights and making out like teenagers. The kissing had gotten hot and heavy after a while, and you ended up making love to each other slowly and tenderly. As you untangled yourself in the morning, you thought that was a new Christmas tradition you could get used to.

You had been invited to attend the Winchester-Novak gathering at Sam and Dean’s apartment, and your stomach fluttered as you worried about how Cas and Sam would get along. Before you left, though, Cas pulled you down to sit underneath the tree again, and handed you a tiny velvet pouch with a drawstring at the top.

“I know we said we’d exchange gifts over there with everyone else, but this one is special, so I want you to have it now.”

You opened the pouch, and out fell a silver ring, with two precious stones inlaid in the silver. As you admired the ring, you realized the stones were your birthstone and his. Each stone was cut into a teardrop, and they were set together to make a heart.

“I ordered this a while ago, before everything blew up, but I mean this as much now as I did then. This ring is a promise I want to make to you. I know it’s way too early to talk about forever, but I want you to know, that forever is what I think about when I think about us. To me, we aren’t just some passing thing that will end when you get your degree or when I get a real job. We are something real, and I promise to do everything I can to keep you happy, and build a life with you.”

Tears blurred your vision as Cas took the ring from your hand and slipped it onto the third finger of your left hand. It was a simple ring, but it was beautiful, and your heart swelled with emotion.

You kissed Cas hard, your cheeks wet with happy tears. “I love you so much, Cas, and I feel the same way. This is perfect.” The two of you spent a while making out some more under the tree, until Cas finally pulled away from you, citing the time and your need to leave.

Christmas with the Winchesters and Novaks was an experience. Your family had always been small, so being surrounded by so many people was overwhelming. Sam and Cas were stiff around each other, but polite, and you could tell it would be some time before they could be friendly again. Allie, Kelsey, and Emily all stopped in for a little while to exchange gifts, and you were happy to see all three of them acting about as googly-eyed over their respective dates as you were. Gabe made everybody laugh with his anatomically correct Santa cake, though his peppermint penises, his version of a candy cane, didn’t go over quite as well. If nothing else, the levity of the group kept you from thinking about your aunt. You may have lost your last remaining blood relative, but this huge group of people was showing you that family doesn’t end with blood.


	31. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, a happily ever after, cuz I'm a sap.

_ About two years later _

Standing in the kitchen of the house you and Cas had bought, you looked out the window at the party in your back yard. All of your friends and Cas’s family were either dancing or sitting by the bonfire to keep warm in the October chill. Everyone was having a good time, and it made you smile, you had just needed a moment of quiet in the midst of all the craziness.

Strong hands wrapped around you from behind and you looked up at your husband.  _ My husband. _ That would take some getting used to. You grinned and he kissed your lips, barely able to control his own smile.

“Happy, Mrs. Novak?”

“Very, Mr. Novak,” you replied with a giggle.

Getting here hadn’t been easy. Cas hadn’t gotten a teaching job until the school year after you’d graduated, so money had been tight for a while, in spite of you getting a promotion at The Press when you graduated. His relationship with Sam was strained for a long time, until Sam met a nice girl named Eileen. She was deaf, and you were all learning ASL, now, because it looked like Sam was getting close to buying a ring.

Gabe and Emily had eloped the year before, without any warning. They literally showed up at Sunday dinner one week wearing rings and screaming, “Surprise!” The only two who weren’t surprised were Kelsey and Anna, who had apparently been dragged along on the impromptu road trip to Vegas, the both of them stifling their laughter as the happy couple got married by a guy who looked like Elvis. In spite of Michael’s concerns about it happening so fast, they were doing really well for each other.

Allie and Dean were still together, though an outsider wouldn’t believe it with the way they bickered back and forth sometimes. The rest of the family understood that the bickering was just a sign of how passionate they were about each other. Just about everyone had walked in on them being, well, passionate, in some unexpected place or another.

Kelsey and Anna were a different story, however. Both of them seemed perfectly content to lead separate lives, but still be together. You could see how much they loved each other, but whenever someone mentioned marriage, or even just living together, they’d both look like you made them smell a sweaty gym sock. You still teased Kelsey about it sometimes, but you knew they were making it work.

Your wedding had been a fairly simple affair. You had rented some chairs and a tent and did everything in your own back yard. A justice of the peace had performed the ceremony, since you and Cas hadn’t found a new church you liked, yet. Cas still felt the urge to worship, sometimes, and you were willing to support him as he sifted through church doctrines to find the perfect fit for his beliefs.

Of all who came to the ceremony, you were most surprised to see your aunt. You still hadn’t spoken to each other, but you’d sent the invitation, anyway. You saw her as you walked down the aisle, but when the formalities were over, she had disappeared. Father Singer saw you looking for her and just shrugged, giving you a warm hug when he saw the sadness in your eyes. Bobby had become like the uncle you’d never had, in spite of your rift with the Church.

Looking out the window with Cas at your back, you smiled at Kelsey and Cait as they laughed at something together. You hadn’t been sure Cait and Gad could make it, but they had found someone to run the diner while they were gone and were taking a much needed weekend off. Cait and the rest of the girls had hit it off right from the start, and you were glad all of your friends got along so well.

You leaned back against Cas’s solid form and sighed with a smile. Warm lips with just a trace of scruff landed on your neck and goosebumps flew down your body making you shiver.

“You look so beautiful, so delectable, in that dress. I don’t think I can keep my hands off of you.” The [dress](http://www.weddingdresstrend.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/small_image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/w/g/wg81312838_m.jpg) you’d chosen wasn’t the usual fairytale dress with lots of poof. It was sleek, with longer sleeves to defend against the October chill, a fitted bodice with a sweetheart neckline, and a flowy skirt. It hugged your curves, hid all of your faults, and you felt beautiful in it. Considering the hard cock that was now pressed into your ass, you figured Cas agreed.

Cas’s hands started roaming, feeling your breasts through the fabric and squeezing your flesh. He ground his hips into your ass and you let out a moan, hoping none of your guests would walk in and hear you. With that thought, you pulled away from him, holding onto his hand, and led him upstairs to your bedroom.

“We have to do this quick, because we still have to toss the bouquet and the garter and who knows what else the girls have planned for tonight.” Cas’s free hand was heavy on your hip, and you gave your hips some extra sway as you climbed the stairs, knowing his attention was firmly on your ass. As you closed the bedroom door and locked it, you put a hand out to keep him from attacking you right away. “And I paid a lot of money for this hair and makeup, so I’ll have to be on top.”

Cas licked his lips and grinned. “I have a better idea.” Cas’s grin was absolutely feral, and you felt the panties in your expensive lingerie set get damp.

He spun you around you were facing the dresser, and you understood right away what he wanted. You bent over, grabbing the edge of the dresser and looking at your new husband in the mirror. He grinned as he groped your ass, kicked your feet further apart, and then disappeared behind you into a squat. You felt his hands start at your ankles and slide up your legs, his skin gliding against the stockings you were wearing. He groaned when he reached the straps of your garter belt, making a shiver of desire rush through you. He shifted something about the way the skirt was hanging from your hips, but you didn’t know what he had done until you felt his fingertips move your panties to the side and his mouth landed on your clit. He worked hard and fast, thrusting his fingers inside of you and sucking on your clit relentlessly until you cried out his name and clamped down on his fingers as your orgasm shook you.

While you gathered your breath, you felt your skirt shift again, then heard his zipper before he groaned. You looked up into the mirror and saw Cas standing behind you, your skirt gathered around your waist, his eyes trained on your ass and his cock weeping in his hand.

“Want you, Cas. Fuck me, baby. Make me scream.” Cas’s eyes bugged out and he stopped stroking his cock to just grip it tightly. “I’m yours, Cas. All yours. Take what you want.”

Cas groaned, and then you felt him line himself up at your entrance and thrust into you fast and hard. He didn’t stop to let you adjust like he normally would; he just started pounding into you, setting off fireworks with every thrust as he hit your sweet spot. His eyes were mostly closed, but every so often he’d open them and meet your gaze in the mirror. You cried out every time he slammed home, the pleasure building exponentially until you exploded around him. He let out a choked cry as you strangled his cock and he followed right after you, emptying into you with a groan.

When you both stopped moving, he reached around you to grab a tissue from the box on the dresser, then made sure he cleaned you up with it as he pulled out of you. He tossed the tissue in the trash, then put your panties back where they belonged and straightened out your skirt. While you checked your hair and makeup in the mirror, he cleaned himself up with another tissue and pulled up his pants. Soon you were both looking like nothing had happened, grinning at each other for having gotten away with a quickie while everyone you knew was downstairs.

Cas pulled you close and kissed your lips, gently exploring your mouth with his tongue before resting his forehead against yours. “I love you so much, wife of mine.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his middle, enjoying the feel of his strong back under your fingertips. “I love you, too, husband of mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this ride! If you haven't already, check out the timestamps for other POVs to this story!!


End file.
